Monday, December 26, 2005

The tree is lonely and the dog has nothing to chew on

Well, It has come and gone. Christmas day. I will start off the bat by hoping you had a great one and remembered the true meaning of Christmas....Presents. No, I kid... the birth of our Lord Jesus in a barn in the hay with stinking animals around him and the awe of his mother Mary and the man assigned to be his father on earth, Joseph and the true protection of God the Father as God the Son came to earth to teach us how to live.

In our house, I am always striving for ways to make sure that in the hustle and bustle of Christmastime the children in my care do not miss the above truth. This year I may have overdone it, but I know MB "got it" if you will. It started with a frantic search for an Advent calendar. You remember the kind we grew up with. A paper calendar with 25 windows on it, one for each day beginning December 1st through Christmas day when you opened the window to find the Baby Jesus "asleep on the hay". Have you tried looking for one lately? Not a lot of the "religious" Bible story of Jesus coming to earth, but I did find a few with Santa and presents behind all 25 doors, but that, my dear friends, was NOT what I wanted or needed. I needed spiritual truth and depth not a teddy bear and a jack in the box. I DID find a beautiful Italian-made wood advent calendar with all of the appropriate pieces that you put onto the teenie tiny nails in the stable scene..and I'm thankful to say Jesus, Mary and Joseph were not blonde haired blue eyed people. THAT is a huge relief and a discussion (rant) for a different time. But it did not provide enough "edutainment" value for a 4-1/2 year old. Maybe I underestimate his attention span...but part of me yearns to share truth with the step kids who are only here 1 week before (or sometimes after) Christmas too, so no, though I will keep my beautiful Italian Advent calendar, I had to find something different.

I found it just in time for the week before Christmas (I held out on you to see how it went over). It was WONDERFUL. It's called "What God wants for Christmas". You can get it from Focus on the Family (go to but I got mine at WalMart. I just happened up on it and knew about it and thought "what the heck....I gotta get this on a 4 year old level". In this box you will get a harder than heck to keep open manger scene (pop up), 7 boxes and a story book. You can do this any way you like, but for us, we started a few days later than I wanted and since MB is OOH so impatient, we read 2 characters per day.

Day 1 is the angel Gabriel (don't get on me about the angel looking like a woman, yes, I had a HUGE issue with that) and Day 2 is Mary. MB got to put them both in the stable wherever he wanted while Mamaw read the stories of Gabriel coming to tell us the story and Mary about the baby Jesus. Day 2 Mary finds out about the baby. The 3rd day is Gabriel telling Joseph his role in this saga. (biggest brother opened that box) Day 4 (Big brother opened that box) we meet the baby Jesus (at least, again, he is not blue eyed and blonde haired). Day 5 (opened by Uncle J) is the shepard coming to worship Jesus and day 6 (opened by MB) is the wise men (though they only have 1 they do talk about the 3).

Day 7 was the hardest day. Day 7 (which MB had a screaming hissy fit about when I told him he had to wait till the day we opened the presents to open) contains what God wants for Christmas. I'll tell's a mirror in box 7. Yes, what God wants for Christmas is YOUR HEART.

Now I hear you saying "mommaria, that is too simple". Sure, but isn't the gift of God simple to receive. You betcha! Did Monkey boy get it. Yes he did. Did he give God his heart? Not yet. I don't think he totally understands it all yet (age of accountability and all that good stuff we can debate for hours if you don't agree). However, today, 4 days after we opened presents, (yes, we did that earlier than most. We only had the step sons till Christmas day and how horrible to open presents and then not get to play with them before you have to go home to your momma's house) I asked MB what God wanted for Christmas...know what he said? ME and YOU and Mamaw and EVERYBODY (added with arms flowing in big circles and dramatic flair!). You see, he GOT it. I GOT what I wanted so desperately. I know that my son knows that Christmas is so much more than the stuff he got and the food that he ate and the family that was here. That may be important, but you know what...that is not IT. MB got IT. In fact, while we were in church 45 minutes before services started (I had the wrong time again in my head...LOL) he said "mommy, lets sing Happy Birthday to Jesus!".

SO Jesus, Happy Birthday and may we be able to celebrate many more with understanding that it's not about's about what YOU want for Christmas, which happens to be US.

Monday, December 19, 2005


Every year you get them. Letters about all the fun stuff your friends and family have been doing all year while your year was ho-hum at best. Here is the Family Christmas letter I really want to know, honest and ugly.

Merry Christmas to you all.
Well, Mary asked me to do this letter this year and we had a great big fight about it. I told her that she would be lucky if I remembered what we had for dinner last night, but she said she would never let me touch her again if I did not write the family letter, so here I go. She has given me some event ideas, but I'm doing this my own way.

Lets start with the kids. Stuart started school this year. He was so far behind that the teachers recommended we wait till he was 7 to start him in kindergarten. I don't think this will affect him negatively. He is now the biggest kid in the class and I dare anybody to laugh at him. He finally knows his colors and can write his own name. He is still trying to read Dick and Jane. I try not to laugh. Sometimes I can't make it.

Stuart's big brother Jake just got into the 5th grade chior. Darn kid can't carry a tune with a bucket but the teacher wanted to be nice. It's a shame...he sang Jingle Bells so loudly in the school's Holiday Celebration I was proud! I did, however, teach him the alternative phrasing. I bet next year she will let him play the triangle.

And Sissy, well, Sissy is 16 now. Hard to believe. She is not getting a car, ever. I will make sure of that. She took driver's education but flunked when she ran into the teachers lounge while taking the range portion of the test. I bet they don't build the new teacher's lounge so close to the driving range again. Don't worry about Sissy, she will be out of the body cast and back in the passenger's seat by January.

The wife is just as she always is. I sure wish she'd stay out of the Christmas Pudding if you know what I mean. Santa may have to leave his suit behind for her if she bakes any more of those cookies. She wants to take a trip to the ocean this year. I told her we could do it in January to save money. We can just dress warmly. She refuses to shower before noon or clean the house. I am not sure when the last time the toliet was clean is. But don't mention the mess. That's all I gotta say.

And me...well, I imagine after she reads this letter I will be in traction for a while, which will be a good thing. Maybe I'll be in a coma so I can finally have some peace and quiet around here. What's a guy gotta do to be left alone. Honey.....what are you doing.....put the cast iron skil......

This is Mary. As usual, no help from the "big man of the house". I want to invite you all to come visit us this holiday season and as for John, ignore him if he does not recognize you. The goose egg should be gone in a week or 2 and the doctor says the memory loss should be temporary. Can't wait to see you all. Watch out for the Christmas lights outside. John got lazy and they are all heaped in a pile in the middle of the yard, but the dog dragged some into the driveway.

Merry Christmas.
The Family.

I have come to the conclusion that I am a terrible mommy.

No, really, no protestings my dear blog readers....I shall have to confess many things in my life, and this one is true.

I have recently become a digital camera printer owner (thanks K, you know who you are) and I FINALLY got a print cartridge. So I dug through pics of MB and printed a few out to hang in my cubicle at work, you know, to remind me why I am here and how much I miss hanging out with him. But as usual, I digress.

I realized today that my MB is almost 5 (okay, so I have till May) but I am YET to get a professional (or even semi-professional) 4 year old picture of him. Yeah yeah, I hear ya. Lady you have over 5 months to get this done, but you don't understand dear friend. I usually do this right before he turns his new year. It's a progressive picture sort of thing. He has gone from cute baby to almost school boy and I missed the transition because I just never got around to it. *sigh*. I'm a terrible mommy.

There I confessed it but don't feel any better. I thought about combining Christmas and 4 year old shots, but that would just immortalize my laziness and slackerhood. If I do them separately now that is too much money at once. What is a mom on a budget to do?

I need to bite the bullet and find the time to get his 4 year old shots done.
Then maybe I can start on my Family Christmas letter, from last year, after all Christmas is not here yet.

How do you spell SLACKER...>MOMMARIA~!!!! (and don't you forget it!)

Friday, December 16, 2005

when you find something awesome, it's nice to share

SO I have a secret I have kept for 1 month and i'm busting with it because I know it can help so many more people.

We are having steak for Christmas. Now before you sigh, roll your eyes and 'walk' away to another blog, stick with me a minute. We are having steak for Christmas because my Mother-in-law (whom I adore) turned me on to a WONDERFUL ministry called Angel Food Ministires. Go ahead, type that into your browser when we are done here and see what happens. This is what will happen. You will open a web page to a wonderful food ministry. If you are struggling to feed your family or a friend or family member is struggling to feed their family this is the site for you (I hope). What is it, you ask before you look. It is a church ministry that buys food in bulk based on "units" sold and provides the units to you at a low cost of $25. What do you get for $25. Go look. It changes every month, but I guarantee you would probably be spending $100 or more on it at the grocery store. Oh, and there are specials every month, that is where the steak for Christmas comes in. December's specials were Strip steaks (6 -10 oz) for $18. We are having steak baby!!!

You see my excitement here, right?! So go check it out, spread the word and feed your family. There are no income guidelines and this is not a government hand do have to pay for it when you order it (though you could use food stamps to pay for it) I will pick up our food this Saturday and let you know how that goes since this is our first month doing this. The new menu is available now and is this :

(1) 5 lbs. Chicken Leg Quarters(1) 1.5 lbs. Boneless Pork Tenderloin(1) 3 lbs. Chicken Breast Filets(2) 1 lb. Ground Turkey(1) 1 lb. Ground Beef(1) 2 lb. Chicken Tenders(1) 14 oz. Philly Steaks(1) 12 oz. All Meat Hot Dogs(1) 17 oz. Birds Eye Simply Grillin'
(1) 2 lb. Shredded Hash Browns(1) 1 lb. Cut Broccoli(1) 1 lb. Carrots(1) 16 oz. 16-Bean Soup Mix(1) 7.5 oz. Mac & Cheese(1) 7 oz. Pancake Mix(1) Dozen Eggs(1) Dessert ...

all of that for $25 and you can buy as many units as you would like, 1, 2, 10, whatever you need. To find out if there is a distribution church near you go to the host sites tab and look for your state and then a place near you.

If this helps one person (and I know it will) it was worth it.
Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 09, 2005

Wow, it's been a while hasn't it.

Sorry for the disappearing act, but wow has life been slipping by quickly. It has nothing to do with the holiday season because I have not really done much. Yes the house is decorated and the tree is up. I even managed to bake cookies (but they are gone already, but really there were not many to begin with).

I started the new job and it sucked the brain right out of me. INTENSE training in 2 weeks and then thrown into the deep end of the pool with no water wings is how I describe my last 2 weeks. I got my desk assignment today (I control the thermostat in our corner of the ready for snow babies around me LOL). I am surrounded by guys...loud guys except my cubicle neighbor..he's very quiet.

Not much else really going on but a lot of adjusting to change. I got my new schedule and it is full of change again. Did I ever mention I am not a big fan of change?

We had the working holiday dinner....and I say holiday because it incorporated EVERYBODY not just Christmas. I hate the whole politically correct holiday misnomer, but in the case where it truly is inclusive, fine...but people, it is a Christmas tree no matter what Governor Goober in Tennessee wants to call. If it's got Jesus in a stable, it's not a holiday display, its a Christmas Nativity scene.

enough of that rant. I am tired, sore and full of holiday fried chicken. I need to get into the attic to get and wrap the presents and figure out what to wear to the company Christmas party tomorrow night. Yep, Christmas party. It's been 5 years since I have been to one...I'm nervous excited...what will I wear???

I'll let you know how it goes whether or not you care. I just missed you and wanted to let you know I was still around.

Monday, November 28, 2005

I've been tagged by Military here it goes!

I should start by saying I love being tagged. It's like PE in grade school all over again but without the shame if nobody tagged me or getting picked last.

What I was doing10 years ago: 10 years ago I was living proof that a person can walk away from a pulmonary embolism unscathed (but scared), working at a radio station that just did not appreciate me at all and watching my mother fight a battle with breast cancer which, I am happy to say, she is still winning.

5 years ago: Five years ago I just found out I was pregant when I was told that would never happen. The happiest day of my life to be exact. I told that little baby growing there that he was the most wanted baby in the world and FIGHT...he has never stopped.

1 year ago: Working a job I hated but needed and working too hard for too little pay. I was also loving being a work-from-home mom, well, at least a mom. LOL.

Yesterday: Trying to figure out what I was going to wear today for the first day of my new job and wondering if I would EVER fall asleep. I did with the help of a Benadryl at 2 am and had to get up at 5:15.

5 snacks I enjoy: I enjoy popcorn, dark chocolate, coffee, ice cream and hot buttered bread, all of which I very seldomly get because I just shouldn't except the coffee. I also like sour patch kids. LOL.

5 Song I know all the words too:
Hmm... Any song by Charlie Peacock or Margaret Becker, Any Pink Floyd song, Stairway to Heaven by Led Zepplin and for some reason, going through my head as I try to answer this is Jenny (8675309)......why....why... oh the humanity!

5 Things I would do with $100 million:
1) Pay off the bills including house and car.
2) Buy houses for my family and a sprawling ranch for us (with a basement)
3) Give each family member 1 million
4) Tithe...oh would my paster LIKE that one!!
5) Start a charitible organization, philanthropy baby, while living off the interest.

5 locations I would like to run away to:
1) Sicily.
2) Lithuania.
3) Ireland
4) Hawaii
5) Chicago. LOL...I know, I'm pathetic, but I love Chicago.

5 bad habits I have:
1) Eating things I shouldn't
2) Not exercising like I should.
3) Not sleeping enough ever
4) Thinking too much.
5) Assuming the worst case scenerio will happen

5 things I like doing:
1) Teaching the 1 year old Sunday School Class.
2) Playing with kids.
3) Sleeping.
4) Cooking, not baking, cooking.
5) snuggling with DH.

TV shows I like: CSI, the original, Robot Chicken though they really need to put it on earlier, Biggest Loser, Survivor, and I'm again ashamed to admit, Family Guy.

Biggest joys of the moment:
1) That MB is still with us and doing great afteralmost 3-1/2 years post transplant.
2) I have a good job with a great company.
3) I found good in-home daycare for MB with a friend.
4) That I have friends here finally after 7 years.
5) That DH and I have survived and managed not to kill one another and we will be married 7 years this July. I love this guy more and more.

Now, I get to tag 5 here we go.

Tamwill...where are ya? I believe you are still here somewhere
Little dreamer....yeah, you already would ya.
Hunzer you out here? Missing your cranky pants
Shannon. I'd love to learn more about you.

Thanks people.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Simple question today

If people are crazy enough to freeze their bottoms off standing in line for a few discounts (and other mark ups) at 4 am the day after thanksgiving at a retail store why don't grocery stores follow the retailers lead and have giant mark downs on food the day after thanksgiving when we have spent our food bugets for 2 weeks on one meal? Now THAT I'd stand in line for. Sorry retail, I've done your lines once and that was enough.
*grumbling to self* people getting trampled for the latest toys...people, what have we become???

Thursday, November 24, 2005

My Thankful Post

This is going to seem like a total update post, but they are all things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving day, and I am only scratching the surface here:

1) Soldier J is home, safe, has a new job and his family is all together again. V and baby K are back in the same home with Soldier J and God brought him back to us whole. In a war where there are so many who are not so lucky, I am thankful Soldier J is back. I am also immensely grateful for his sacrifice as well as the sacrifices of everybody involved in this war to give another country something to be thankful for.

2) Our little friend Andrew had his adnoid/tonsil surgery and now is sleeping well without apnea. He also had a G tube placed so the yellow, ugly NG tube is out of his face for good. I can't wait for his momma to send me some pictures of that little guy without the tube. He's such a sweetie. I am thankful Andrew is healthier than he has ever been and his mom can now enjoy being and OUTPATIENT mom instead of the usual "freak-me-out-cause-my-kid-stopped-breathing-and-turned-blue" inpatient mom. A whole new life girl. Get ready for some freedom you didn't think you had coming. I am also thankful our guys are still with us and still fighting.

3) I am thankful I have a new job that starts Monday. I'm a bit nervous, but excited. Lots of changes rolling down the line, but God is faithful and we will make it work. I am thankful for my job.

I am thankful for food, water, a place to live, friends, neighbors, good health, the ability to walk, see and that I can take things for granted.

I am thankful for my church body, my pastors, the kids in my Sunday school class.

I am thankful for cashiers that get up at 4 am so people can shop tomorrow at 5. I am thankful I don't have to be one of them.

I am thankful you are reading this now because it means you are still among the people I call friend.

I am thankful for my husband who DOES work hard even though I take him for granted too and assume he enjoys his life. I am thankful for my step sons that they are growing up and discovering who THEY are. I am thankful for Monkey Boy that he is independent yet still needs his momma. I am thankful for my in-laws because they are just plain awesome. I am thankful for my parents that they are there when I need to talk.

I could really prattle on all day, but I promised DH I would bring him some of the apple coffee cake I made this morning and MB needs a new strap for his glasses (we lost it at the doctors office yesterday). SO

HAPPY THANKSGIVING. What are you thankful for?

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

A Thanksgiving feast for kings

My husband and I have decided that we have to introduce MB to traditions. I have to admit I have been lazy. heard me. If the step kids are not coming to dinner I don't bother with the whole lets-cook-more-food-than-an-entire-platoon-could-eat-and-eat-till-we-puke dinner for Thanksgiving, or Christmas for that matter. I figured why...but you know what, MB is why. He needs to know I would do the same for him that I would do for his half-brothers. I want him to know he is special enough for a Thanksgiving dinner complete with all of the fixings. So, I'm off to shop for a feast while the turkey is thawing in the fridge. I do have a problem with the fact that DH wants a traditional feast. In my family, there are 4 of us kids and both parents, not to mention grandparents, aunts and uncles. I'm used to cooking for a proverbial army. How on earth do I pare down the feast for 3? I have invited people to come to dinner, but they are not coming. I don't like to think anybody should be alone for the holidays, but they don't care...darn it.

So I'm preparing a feast....I have about 8 extra servings...anybody want to come to dinner?????

Monday, November 21, 2005

Bye Bye Byetta

Well, I did it. I had to really. I stopped smootching the lizard. WHAT? It was working. Yes, it was working well. I have lost about 20 pounds now since I started taking the Byetta, but it also had a nasty little side effect for me that did not ever go away or even become manageable, feeling like I had the flu all the time complete with body aches and extreme nausea (and the "other" end problem, if you get my drift). I could not risk it anymore.

"Risk it. What ARE you talking about?" I hear you asking. I did it. I got a new job. I start next week. I will have 3 weeks of training and then get my new shift. The job is apparently highly technical and there is a lot to learn in 3 short weeks, and I can not be missing work literally or figuratively because I zoned out until the nausea passed. Do you know what I mean? I just could not see myself sitting in a training class praying "Please don't puke" or suffering chills etc.

So I emailed my doc and she agreed that I should stop. SO now I can eat more and have to put an effort into NOT eating. I still get full REALLY fast and feel queasy if I eat too much or the 'wrong' things, so I am hopeful. I am also hopeful because I will be working outside of the home and that means set lunch periods in which I can walk around the generous parking lot at the new job, or next door to the Target shopping center or, if it's cold, around the buildings in the work complex. I am even contemplating joining the Y which is just down the street from the new office.

Yes, you heard me right. The job is out of the house. I have had to find daycare for MB. That totally sucks, but I needed a job and I REALLY don't ever want to do medical transcription again. Too unpredictable and, to me, boring. I have a friend with 2 kiddos who will be taking on MB as one of her own during the day too. She's a lot like me, so I am comfortable, sort of, letting MB's hard to let them go. We are also looking into getting him into a Christian school for kindergarten. I think this will help him. He LOVES other kids. He NEEDS other kids. School will be good...I pray anyway. It is hard when they grow up.

I start one week from today. If you are a pray-er, pray for me. This is going to be hard. This will be my first out of the house, 40 hour per week job since MB was born. I'm gonna go through some difficult stuff.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful....

Hate me because I am done Christmas shopping! LOL...yes, with the exception of needing 1 Bible for a teenager (he asked for a new one) I am done. I got the rest of DH's gift last night at good old Wally World (Wal Mart for the moniker impaired) and I am D O N E. (except the gift certificates I need for DH's father and sister)...but NOOOOOO I do not have to step foot in a store on Black Friday unless I really want to....and I may. Who can resist a great deal, but it would really have to be a GREAT deal to drag me out of bed at 6 on a Friday after Thanksgiving and get myself and MB to a mall. You see, DH has to work that day and I don't start the new job till the Monday after Thanksgiving.

I may be trimming a tree, napping or trying to finish organizing my house (ROFLOL) before I start an out of the house job. Yep, it's out of the house. But, as usual, I digress.

I sure hope you all get your shopping done (if not and you want a cool educational toy, call me or message me and I can set you up till the 12th of December with guaranteed delivery of a Discovery Toy or 10). I will be wrapping into the wee hours so MB is actually surprised this year. I got to go shopping without him and "santa" got the goods. LOL

Oh yeah, and if you see MB, yes Santa is real. Not the jolly red suited fellow, but the REAL St. Nicholas. (He loves the red suited fellow, but knows that St. Nicholas was a real man who gave dowerys to poor women so they could get married).

We will bake cookies and plan meals later. For now...I am relaxing in the fact that I am DONE Shopping. Join me for coffee won't you?

Monday, November 14, 2005

My 4 year old piano protege

LOL...well, maybe he is no Mozart, but we started MB taking piano lessons this month. He's 4-1/2 and is DYING to play a musical instrument. His older brother plays saxophone (and is quite good I am happy to report, he's only had a couple of lessons and they are talking about putting him in the school band). His oldest brother is learning to play guitar. MB is wicked excited to be taking piano lessons. I have to admit I'm pretty excited that he is taking piano too because "I" want to learn how to play piano. Since I practice with him 30 minutes each day I am learning as much as he is. His piano teacher LOVES him and he made a Christmas present for her already. She has 2 children too, and MB, I think, would rather play with her son than play piano. LOL...typical social critter he is. But he muddles through the lesson and is actually doing quite well. The teacher told me that "he's so smart". My reply..."scary huh!". So I have a musician on my hands and I couldn't be a prouder momma about it. On the way home from piano lesson last night he actually said : Warning: Proud momma moment alert!!!

"mommy, I want to pray."
"Okay. What do you want us to pray about?"
"NO mommy...I want to pray and thank God for my singing." (he only recently started singing even if he does not know all the words...before I had to sing and he played air guitar. He also recently told me he wanted to be in the Children's Choir for the Christmas program at church).

So, for the first time ever, without me nagging or leading, my son WILLFULLY prayed to God and prayed:

"God, I thank you for my singing."

Never a better prayer has been uttered.

Oh, and I have to give a shout out to Handsomeeddiefamous. Sorry I did not see your Monical's pizza reply back in September...I'd have known it was you! LOL...Love and miss Monicals and Papa Del's. Tennessee has no real pizza....I miss real pizza.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

I thought this "mom" thing was supposed to get easier....

Nope. I don't think it does.

I went to visit the principal at the school MB will go to if we end up going that route (and with the potential new job situation it will have to go that way). The kindergarten classes are 18 to 22 kids. That is 18 to 22 potential germ carriers in contact with immunosuppressed MB 5 days per week. Yes we take him to church and put him in Sunday School and nursery during service, but that is once per week and 10 kids at most. Yes I take him to MOPs which is 22 kids in his class, but only once every other week. Calculated risks really. We want him to be social because he IS very very social and LOVES people. But 18 to 20 kids in a class every day is a high risk situation. really. I think.

I have till next school year to figure this all out (unless you count that we have to register him in April). That just seems like such a huge risk.

The school, btw, is just as awesome as I had heard. The secretary has a bible picture dictionary sitting on her desk in plain view. Awesome! The K-2 program is designed to keep them busy so MB will not be bored. He already can read and knows all his letters and sounds, is working on math, knows that a dime, 2 nickels and 10 pennies are all the same thing......he's smart....he works at it what can I say. The 3rd grade on program has honors he will be advanced as necessary.

I wish this were easier.

Then there is the fact that he NEVER sleeps anymore. He keeps coming into our room at random wee hours of the morning and climbing in our bed. Not a problem except I can not sleep when he is in there because I'm afraid of hurting him or pushing him off the bed.
Anybody have any tips on keeping him in his bed???

Thanks in advance....but really, I thought I'd be out of the "midnight feeding" end of this by 4-1/2.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Harry Potter and the biggest let down ever.

Okay, I have finished the Harry Potter series (thus far) recommended to me by people who write as excellent, must read books. I would one day fancy myself a writer for children, though I prefer the 4 year old and below age range myself. Anyway, the books came highly recommended. I SWORE I would never read the Harry Potter books. Just didn't want to read them. I had seen the movies and enjoyed them and am looking forward to the newest one, but just was NOT going to read the books.

I LOVED the first one. Wow. The Sorcerer's Stone was fantastic. I read it in about 4 hours (longer if you count I had to put it down to cook dinner, do laundry, all the normal wifey things.

The 2nd, The Chamber of Secrets, took me a bit longer to read, but I really enjoyed it as well. Fascinating use of characters and plot twists and turns.

The 3rd. Good book, The Prisoner of Azkaban had the ultimate twist...again a page turner. I looked forward to getting back into it when I had to put it down, but life prohibited me from getting into it very quickly and my interested waxed and waned, but I wanted more.

the 4th book, The Goblet of Fire.....ummmm *yawn*. There were a few good parts but this is no where NEAR as interesting as the other 3. The end was the best part, not because it was over, smarty pants, but it was exciting. The rest was hard to get through.

5th book, Order of the Phoenix.......BORi*snore snore snore*...oh wait. Oh yeah, boring. Again, the END of the book was the best part, the parts leading up had little to none of the adventure I had long come to expect.

and last night I finished the Half-Blood Prince. The thing I enjoyed about it was trying to figure out WHO could be the half-blood prince. I won't spoil it for you, I would have been mad if somebody spoiled it for me, but again, the ONLY good, exciting part was the end. Rowlings threatened many times with events that COULD have been exciting. They started out titillating, but then just fizzled out, not building suspense, but just fizzling out. The end was unexpected and I kept waiting for a "different" outcome (those who have read it know what I mean).

I hear there is one more in the series. I will read it too, but this time, Ms. J.K. Rowling, please....keep the action, keep the suspense, LOVE the character building skills you have, skills that have allowed you to not only keep the players true to their roles over 6 books, but also develop and grow them (or in some cases help them seethe in their anger). I have highest hopes that the supposed final in this series will not disappoint me. I have come to expect so much more.

Book 5.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Parenting full circle

Odd title, yes, I am aware thank you. I have had a theory for a long time now and said if I ever did a masters or PhD paper I would research this phenom. I call it full circle parenting. It works essentially that you start out as a child with a parent, you grow up and your relationship changes from parent/child to peer and then is destine to become child/parent where the child parents the parent. Does that make any sense?

I see it actually happening more and more in my relationship with my parents and I have to say, parenting my 4 year old is an awful lot like parenting my parents. They are in their 60's and early 70's (I think...isn't that terrible, I don't really know how old my own parents are. I think my mom will forever be 45, but since I'm heading to that age soon, she must be older by now). I live a considerable distance from my mom and dad, but talk to them often. Mom has been sick a lot lately and it worries me for several reasons: 1) she has never taken decent care of herself. 2). She had breast cancer in 1996. 3) Uncontrolled diabetes mellitus for a number of years (though I have been told her numbers are normal now) and 4) a recent history of kidney problems.

So when she tells me she has been sick for a while and now the docs want an MRI or CT scan I get nervous. Maybe 4 years of typing medical reports for oncologists makes bells ring for me or maybe I know she is given to bouts of misinforming me of circumstances. She tells me they think she has a brain tumor. Ok, mom is so not high drama, so I wonder, since I have not seen her in about 9 months, if she has some strange growth on her noggin the size and shape of a pineapple that would make them wonder this. She says she is having headaches. (she has ALWAYS had headaches).

So I tried my best nag to get her to go get the MRI or CT, whatever it was they wanted to do, to no avail. She says she does not want to know. Isn't that special.

So the parent turned child is nagged by the child now turned mother (and many many years of this, I remember many a times as an 11 year old comforting my mom about stuff. I was the first one she told about the cancer and we prayed together for the first time ever at her request...on and on really). So do I let it go and know she is an adult, I believe still fully capable of making her own decisions or do I nag (like a mother would nag) until she does something.

Parenting a 4 year old is eaiser, his butt I can mom's....well, she is too far away.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

More random stuff

I have a few good job leads before I crawl to Wally-World and apply for a job. I will call one on Friday (that I actually hope I get) to set up an interview. Prayers and positive thoughts are apprecitated on that one. It's just a few minutes from my house and I have found some excellent child care for MB should I get this job. Some of my plans will have to change, but God is still in the midst of it all. I know he is.

I have lost more weight. When I stepped on the scale at the docs office (the scale I will trust as opposed to my personal scale which is on crack, but has been giving me consistent wacky numbers lately so I can actually gauge whether I am going up or down by it) I have lost a total of 16 pounds on the Byetta (Lizzard spit) now. I still get pretty nauseated on it, but I can usually function now. I have been on it for 2 months. I did pass one barrier in weight that I really wanted to pass, now I have my eyes on the next one. Here, and only here, I will confess that I did not take the Byetta yesterday because I did not feel like suffering it's effects in combination with "aunt flow" (you girls know what I mean). I have to say, I now have a good healthy fear of food! Even though I did eat a little more than I would on the Byetta, I did not eat anywhere near what I would have previously. I just don't want to. Nothing sounds good anymore. LOL....that is a good thing.

Home schooling has taken a bit of a turn with the reversal of fortunes as far as work is concerned. I have a feeling I will be sending MB to the local *gulp* public school unless I get a great paying job where I can afford to send him to one of the private schools. I have till August to figure this all out, so I will not sweat it right now.


DH has given me the opportunity to move back to my beloved state of Illinois. I am not sure I am ready to do this yet. I know that sounds weird to anybody who knows me and knows how much I really want to be back in Illinois, but leaving now presents a LOT of problems. The step-kids would not be able to come with us, we would have to do a lot of work to sell our house, it is OUR house and bit it tiny as it is it is the only home MB has ever known, I finally resigned myself that I live in Tennessee and I"m getting used to it. I have friends now here (not as good as my friend anxiously waiting for me to come back to Illinois, but friends) and a good church and MOPs. I would miss our neighbors too. They are good people. Not sure what we are doing yet, it all hinges on me finding another job.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


Thanks to Mr. Bowie for the song and to my previous employer for hoisting it upon me. I lost my job yesterday. Part of me is scared spitless, part of me is happy I don't have to sit here and type all day long. I do, however, have to find a job, and pretty quickly at that. This is a great time of year for seasonal employment, but not much else, I'm afraid. I do have a few good leads and ideas and one very interesting proposition that involves moving back to my home state of Illinois....Land of Lincoln, Land I LOVE. There is an awful lot to consider and I really don't want to miss God in all of this. I believe He orchestrated it all, honestly. I never really did like doing medical transcription, but it was a way to stay home with MB.

That is one of my big sticking points. I have a good friend who is looking to take in some kids for daycare and I love and trust her and we have a lot of the same philosophies in parenting. She also intends to home school her kids. This is an option, but an expensive one. I need a great paying job to pull it off, and I am not sure how I feel about being separated from MB for 8 hours per day. I have never done that except the couple of days he went to Illinois with daddy and I stayed home to work.

Lots of cha cha cha changes.
it was David Bowie wasn't it? Ah old age and stress...the brain zapper.

Friday, October 21, 2005

I think my kid is trying to kill me

or at least give me a coronary.

We got home from MOPS today at 1-ish and he went outside in the front yard to play with the kitty. Fine and dandy that is a great idea while I wind down and chill.

I hear and see an unfamiliar Mauve SUV go down our street. No biggie, just somebody lost I"m sure. Then it hits me....where is MB? I call his name....nothing.
I call his name again, front and back door are open. He did not come in.

I call him again, this time going to the front door where I see the front GATE is open. Ok. I panic a bit. I call his name......nothing....I call louder.....LOUDER...I'M SCREAMING HIS NAME NOW. NOTHING........

I'm about to T-total panic and I run to the back his name again.....

and I see him in the van, pretending to drive (at least this time he left the door open after our lecture on why we don't play in the van alone with the door shut EVER!).

A mixture of relief and anger course through my veins. I go to the van, open the passenger door, I'm sure looking like a crazy woman. The conversation went like this....

"MB, did you hear me call your name".
"yeah" still driving but wondering how I'm gonna respond.
"Why on EARTH didn't you answer me? "
"I was driving".
"MB, you don't understand. When mommy calls your name you NEED to answer me. Mommy thought somebody took you. "
"are you mad"
"No, but I'm scared and I don't ever want to be scared like that again. First, you know you are not supposed to leave the front yard w/o asking. Secondly you are never supposed to play in the car by yourself. and finally, you ALWAYS answer when mommy calls. Now, get in the are DONE playing outside."

I think I need to see a hairdresser now. He gave me 100 new gray hairs.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The evil that is the local news.

You think living in one of the top 50 markets in the country the news stations would CHECK that the stories are correct and accurate before going on the air.

Case in point:

This morning at 5:50-ish I turned on the local news to my favorite channel, News Channel 5, because the morning team is just that, a team of people who actually seem to enjoy one another's company at ungodly hours of the morning. I listen loosely to the local news as I log in to work and start pulling down jobs to type from the mothership.

Out of the corner of my ear I catch "up next, More Tennessee troops are home" yadda yadda yadda.....

You may remember that our dear friend Military Wife stayed with us after her "incident" because her soldier is in "the sandbox" of Iraq. So I was quickly tuned to the news, full attention, while I waited to hear if it was soldier J's division. Low and behold, yes, it IS the correct number for Soldier J's division. I about jumped up and down....I hit our mommy's board and congratulated Military Wife on his homecoming and was, honestly, a little upset she did not tell us. I saw the story again and peered mercilessly (sorry eyeballs, it was only 6:15 am) but did not see Soldier J or Military wife on screen, but come on...there WERE a lot of people there at Ft. Bragg.

Then all the other mommies congratulate Military Wife too...who, it appears, is quite perplexed that SHE knows nothing of this homecoming. SO here I sit, egg clearly on my face (and I imagine a few ppl wanting to Toilet Paper my house) because the news said the the division was back when, actually, only part of the many pieces of this division is back. Come on guys, lets get the facts straight.

SO I issue an apology to Military Wife. I should have KNOWN you would have told us.

I also give warning to you my friend...don't trust the news, even if they smile at you and are NICE at 5:50 in the morning....Apparently there is not enough coffee in the state of Tennessee to make ANYBODY think logically at that time of the morning.

Friday, October 14, 2005


Today I discovered something about myself I was only vaguely aware of.

I love a good ham sandwich on white bread with mustard. LOL

That was lunch. A totally unhealthy but fast while I wait for work and feed MB who wanted to eat a brownie that is STILL sitting on the table...but ham sammich! so simple. So tangy and bland all at the same time. No no...don't add cheese....

just 3 pieces of ham, 2 slices of soft white totally unhealthy death bomb bread and a squirt of good old yellow mustard.

Ahhh the simple things.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

You know what I really really.....

Sarcasm. I am utterly in love with the art form of sarcasm. Did you not know it was an art form? Apparently at my job it is the purest of art forms in the quality assurance department. In fact, I find it so enjoyable I wish, just for once, the QA people at work would bombard me with sarcasm in the face of my faults ( certainly not a personal attack by the loving, kind and helpful people at QA).

No really, they have to be my very personal faults, it's a fact. You know the kind of personal faults which make me incapable of opening a medical dictionary, make me choose, obviously, not to have a medical dictionary or drug guide or the fact that am so stupid I don't know how to USE a dictionary.

I enjoy the kind of sarcasm that tells me in response to my honestly frustrated email (using kind words and not accusing them of being the lovely people they are being) that I spelled something wrong in my email too....

the kind of sarcasm's that tells me I couldn't possibly learn from my mistakes because I made the same one again.

I had forgotten that I was perfect. Did you not realize I was PERFECT in all I type, do and say?
Apparently I forgot I was perfect today and made some mistakes.

How am I repaid for my recent amnesia...I am rewarded by the afternoon off because they are so concerned for my well being and return to perfection that they have forgotten I'm waiting for them to download what they are so graciously allowing me to type.

I can't WAIT to work more for them. I am so enthusiastic at their valuable feedback and honest rapport that I think I will sit here 18 hours a day to type the required 12,500 lines per pay period.


Tuesday, October 11, 2005

School started today.

I started home schooling MB today. As a result of all of my stress and worry my DH has come up with a very bright solution (I know I married him for a good reason didn't I, he's smart!) We had a great conversation about work, bills, school and the recent cost of gas and coffee.

In this, amazingly for us, very civil discussion and planning session we discovered that I need to bring in about $1200 per month to keep us afloat. I can do that at a "job" rather than a "career I hate". We also discussed his job and how we can, prayerfully, get a set schedule for him so we can make a family life around the rest of our schedules.

We also talked school for MB. We discussed WHY we want to home school him. All reasons are fully valid.
1) Kidney transplant + immunosuppression + a room of 12 to 20 germy kids = potential disaster.
2) MB with kidney placed below his tummy in the front + bully or dodgeball = potential disaster.
3) MB being a total nerd already at 4-1/2 + bored teacher w/20 other kids who aren't worked with like MB = MB getting bored and bored MB = LOTS of misbehavior.
4) Bored MB = losing intelligence instead of flourishing MB.

So, that all being said, coupled with MIL being a teacher, DH being into computers and momma able to do most else and a slew of home schooled kids near by should be a good balance of peers, teachers, teaching styles and creative, one on one focused education.

So today I asked MB if he wanted to start school. He jumped up and down grabbing at me to do it we did. We worked for about 40 mintues on letters (I gave him the choice of numbers or letters, he chose letters). Since, to date, he would not hold a pencil or write, we started by learning how to draw the letter A, in flour on a cookie sheet. From there we moved to the Letter A in his workbook...from there drawing the letter A on a pad of lined paper.

He also showed me he can draw C and S and M.

We are on the move....he is so excited, and that is good.

All this to say, DH, I am so thankful you gave me a shove and set me off in the right, where to find that job.

Monday, October 10, 2005

I think I have succeeded

in scaring you all away.
The counter ticks up to tell me you were here
but not a word you say.

Hello, is this thing on?

I had a dream...

I have been praying a lot lately about what I am supposed to be doing with my life (other than the obvious wife and mother, which plays into it all eventually).

If you did not know, I have "done" radio since 1987 in one way or another, stopping only in the last 2 years to concentrate on my family and MB. Though I am very fulfilled in my role as mom and wife (not housekeeper though, I need some serious help there) I am by no means as fulfilled in my work as a medical transcriptionist. It, right now, it is just a job and one I don't want to do anymore at that. It was all right for the first 2 years, but lately I'm just bored. I don't want to say I'm not challenged in the work because I am, but I don't feel the least bit fulfilled by my work. They say if you spend over 40 hours per week doing something you ought to enjoy it. I just don't anymore.

So I have been praying.

I have been having "radio dreams". What this means for those who have never had a "radio dream" it is that you are in a studio, there is DEAD AIR (nothing on the air) and you have to figure out within seconds how to get the station back on the air, but the board and all the equipment is different that what you have been trained on and the manager is storming down the hall. Yep, stressful dream, but common among all in the field.

Since I had been having the "radio dream" again I felt maybe that is the direction I need to be headed back into. I just came back from a couple hour visit w/a friend on the air at a national network here in Nashville. I worked with him about 5 years ago at another network type station. It was an enjoyable time to be back in a radio station and I got to talk to the program director who says he may have something for me, most likely part time.

But now that I am back home, I'm not sure I'm walking the right path. I really need some sort of big neon sign from God right now as to what I am supposed to be doing.

The whole MB school thing is always simmering somewhere in the background....will the job be enough that I can quit transcription?...will I ever feel fulfilled in my work again or do I just need to go get a "job" where I can bring money into the house and LEAVE my job behind?

So many thoughts swirling in my head. I really wish God would just plop it all in my lap. I NEED him to do that because I don't want to traipse down the wrong path and discourage myself further.

I guess this is just another of my wandering posts.....maybe even wondering....but this is my journey and you are welcome along. Input is always appreciated. Advise is always considered.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I've been tagged by Military Wife

Here are the rules:
1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Post the fifth sentence or close to it.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag 5 other people to do the same.

"I have spanked, I DO NOT and WILL NOT ever BEAT my child."

Actually, I was asking for parenting tips in the poost, but nobody offered any. Se la vie!

I now tag
Preacher Man - Free Thoughts
Little dreamer
Citizen Mom
and finally
Finding Liz

There is somthing foul in the air....

Apparently yesterday was a good day. Today...much worse. I have never felt like such a complete and utter failure in a long long time.

I feel like a failure because I neglect my son for work, but apparently the job I have done for 3-1/2 years now I suddenly am incapable of doing correctly and I'm being penalized (and probalby about to be booted).

I feel like a failure at home because my house is perpetually a train wreck.

I feel like a failure as a wife for more reasons than time, space and my husband would appreciate me posting here and now.

I feel like a failure as a woman because I feel like a blob, don't do my hair, am not bothering with make up and my clothes....well...unstylish comes to mind immediately.

I feel like a failure as a Christian because I just don't have enough faith...for so many things.

I feel like a failure as a "helper" because now my income is not enough to help my family.

where did I go wrong? If you know, tell me because I need to put it to right and fast before things get much worse....they always can. They can also get better....somewhere is a flicker of hope that it will get better, but I need it soon.

thanks for listening to me whine.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Good Things.

I am having a sucky life feels as though it is being sucked out of me. So, instead of letting the heaping load of donkey dung I'm being shoveled today get me futher down, I decided I better find some things to be thankful for today to shovel myself out of it all. So, you, without taking a lot of time to think about it, tell me 10 to 15 things you are thankful for is my list.

1. MB is healthy and part of my live.
2. I have a house, a horribly shamefully messy house, but a house.
3. I have a husband who loves me, not necessarily the way I need to be loved, but loves me.
4. I have a job. It sucks right now, but it is a job.
5. There is food in my house. I know where our next meal is coming from.
6. God loves me and is my provider...even though I still struggle with Him for control...He still loves me.
7. I am "healthy" for all intents and purposes compared to others I love and know and those I don't.
8. I have water/power/and Soap with which to clean my messy house.
9. I have friends who love me and want to help when I humble myself enough to admit I need help.
10. There is so much more to this life than the problems I'm having right now.
11. My parents and in-laws are still alive and a phone call away.
12. My friends value my opinions enough to ask them....and advice is always free and hardly ever taken.
13. There is at least a few dollars in the checking account.
14. I have not been tempted beyond anything more common than any other man.
15. I know where I will sleep tonight.
and a bonus for you.
16. If this all ended today I know were I will be, in heaven praising God in person.

There. I feel better already. How bout you?

Saturday, October 01, 2005

One way to know you have a great babysitter

Are you ready? When your child CRIES because she is leaving and then pushes you to the door and tells you to leave again so she can stay.

I tell you what are a keeper girl!

I called her this week to come babysit just because MB has done nothing but talk about his babysitter (in the yellow shirt) for 5 days, yes 5 days. He refers to her as "My babysitter....I love her". I wonder if she's feeding him extra junk in his bedroom when I leave (no food allowed in the bedroom!!. I bet she is handing him M & M's. LOL.....

Granted, she is a cute little giddy blonde thing who can drive and loves playing with kids....but what spell have you cast upon my son and where were you 4 years ago! Holy Cow.

SO I call her to just "come play" with MB who is beside himself telling everybody at the grocery store that his babysitter in the yellow shirt ("I looooovve her mommy.) is coming to the house. He must have asked me 30 times while shopping what time it was. I guess he did have a hot date.

I am going to have to lock this kid in his room when he turns 13.

On the really plus side, she's trained in CPR, drives so I don't have to, and thinks MB is the sweetest thing since Pop Tarts started going in the freezer. She is also an on-fire Christian girl who LOVES people. Her family took in a family from Louisiana and she cried because they are moving out this week (down the street from them).

Yep, she's a keeper.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Why do you suppose.....

Why do you suppose when one fills a dishwasher and then pushes the bottom drawer in that some random piece of silverware HAS to fall through the bottom of the silverware holder and get STUCK and cause one to not be able to close the dishwasher?

Why is it I put 2 socks in the washer and dryer ( I suppose) but only 1 comes out on the other end. ...and who keeps putting the darn red shirt I THREW AWAY because though it is 2 years old it STILL bleeds back in the clothes hamper?

Why, when I ask the 4-year-old to do something do I have a battle while the SAME 4 year old will JUMP and ask how friggin high when daddy says to do something?

and finally

Why, when you really really really need to get busy and work hard do you feel like all you can do is sleep? Did you ever see Joe v/s the Volcano...It's a baaaaad case of darkclouditis.

Rhetorical questions all I'm sure, but these things must be pondered by my addled brain today but all I want to do is lay down and wake up tomorrow around noon.

Monday, September 26, 2005

STOMP, Glasses and Gila Monster spit....

Lots to talk about, where to start....

DH recently had a birthday. I will not divulge his age as it will give mine away and I'm older. Because I dearly love this man I know what he likes. He likes NOISE...well, okay, not noise but rather percussion noise. I also happened to notice that the Broadway production of STOMP! was in town. Being the loving, ever overindulgent wife that I am I got tickets to the final performance at TPAC in Nashville. All I can say is WOW!!! and if you get a chance to go see STOMP! go see it. It was not only fascinating to watch them use paper bags, plastic water jugs and MATCHSTICK BOXES to make phenomenal music, but it was downright funny. I had such a good time. I actually got really sad when I knew the end was coming because I wanted to stay. If you get the chance I urge you to go and take the kids. Seriously good family fun and it really does not get "loud" like you think it would be until right at the end.

Now, how to get him to go see the Nutcracker Suite with me in December.......

Glasses update: I woke up with a migraine headache this morning at 5:30am and as the prayer of "Oh God, please let me puke and feel better or pass out" was uttered over and over the very thought of putting a contact lens in my eye (the headache was centered behind my right eye) was OUT of the question. I laid on the living room floor with an old pair of glasses from which I pilfered the missing pieces of my current glasses. Do you realize how tiny screws in glasses are? I thought this could certainly be used by some horrible country as a torture device, especially with a raging head throb and wave after wave of nausea. The headache is a 3 out of 10 right now on the pain scale of 10 being cut my head off now and 1 being is that a fly irritating me. It will take a few days to totally go away. Golly how I love a good headache......NOT.

And Gila Monster spit update: I am now officially into week 3 and disappointed to say I have only lost 5 pounds...but it sure beats gaining weight. Since after the first week when I could not eat at all I have managed to eat again. Therefore I must now add a decent amount of exercise and more careful eating to my regimen, which I will do. The doc upped the dose today (as was expected) so I'm back to being nauseated again, or is it the headache. I'm not sure, but I sure do know how much I want to go to bed right now and forget to wake up for work at 5:30 in the morning, but I will get up and work, I'm a good kid that way.

We went shopping today for Christmas. I need some input from anybody who has a Leapster "gaming" system from LeapPad. We want to get this for MB, but there is a NEW system and and old system. While the old system has more games, the new system has the capability to plug into your TV directly and show what is being done on the TV. This will be good IMHO for home school because the titles appear to go through 5th grade and MB is a VERY visual learner. They have math, phonics and even Spanish, reading etc. If you have any experience with this system, please please leave me your opinion.

On that note, I shall bid you farewell for the evening as my head is hurting and I need to put it on an ice cold pillow. One of these days I am going to put my pillow case in the freezer before I go to bed. I love a cold pillow.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

I want my EYES back.....

I want my eyes vision that would be. It all went down Thursday night. MB and I were wrestling on the bed when it was quite, but it was also painful. My glasses broke. Well, not entirely...but a piece snapped off. I quietly and with the adeptness of a total geek taped my glasses together again...until Friday. Friday was the first day of MOPs and (as you may recall) I'm in charge of the kiddos. I think we had about 75 total....and it was CHAOS!!! good chaos, but chaos nonetheless. *sigh*. I don't know when it happened, but at some point I noticed my glasses were uncomfortably PINCHING me in the face. Yup, broken again and now the taped in piece is GONE.

So I am forced to wear my contacts.

I hear you... what is wrong with contacts? You paid a lot of money for those, you should wear them. Sure, both good points and there is NOTHING wrong with contacts, for most people that is. They, however, HURT my eyes. In fact, I generally get migraine headaches when I wear my contacts. Thank goodness this time it's just the "I feel like I have big crusty blocks of sand and salt in my eyes" sensation and my vision is fine with the contacts. I, however, want my glasses back.

I don't want to have to poke myself in the eye twice a day to take out and put in lenses.
I don't want to stumble around the house at night because I can't see the blocks on the floor in the dark without my glasses and I can't sleep with lenses in.
I don't want to hear MB tell me "mommy, where are your lenses. I can't SEE your glasses. I don't have to wear mine???"
I don't want to poke myself in the eye to prove to said MB that YES mommy does have her glasses on...but you can't see them because they are ON my eyes.

I want my glasses back. I think we will call the optho in the morning and see how soon we can get it.

Oh and hunny, I know you WANT your contacts again so I will call for an appointment for you too.


I sure hope my sweet baby sitter does not mind my sharing this here...I will not use her name to keep her unidentified and will also add that I have 4 of the best babysitters a mom could ask for that run to the rescue for me all the time now (where were you 4 years ago???). I talked to one yesterday who is sitting for us tonight (got DH tickets to Stomp for his birthday last week). She sounded like she was crying, so I, who loves her babysitters to no end, asked what was wrong. She asked me if another sitter had called. Nope. So she told me.

She was on her way to babysit for another couple (this girl is NONSTOP I tell you) and got lost (my mind went a million miles as to what COULD have happened) and she called her parents on the cell phone (she has a hands free set, so this SHOULD be safe, right?) and while trying to figure out where she was, nosed into traffic and in a split second it happened. She hit a man on a motorcycle.

This, thank God, was not as horrible as it seems. The man was intelligent enough to be wearing jeans, leather jacket and a good helmet (as opposed to the guy I saw on the interstate wearing nothing but overalls, no shirt, no helmet and really not even shoes), she was going at the speed of a slug and God was her co-pilot. Yes, I know that sounds so darned cheesy, but it's true. In fact, her Jesus vanity license plate was the only thing that was "injured" in the crash. The bike was a bit scratched up and the driver scraped his knee, but all were OKAY! What a relief. My sitters mom and dad were there in minutes and the police officer was a Christian man too. He looked at our sitter holding her Jesus license plate and said "is that yours?" When she answered yes he said "you know that is what saved you both don't you?". She totally agreed. (see I told you I have a great babysitter).

SO my cautionary tale is this...even though cell phones are (gulp) necessary in today's world, please don't drive and talk. In a split second 2 lives could have been taken on a dark road in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee on Friday, but by the grace of God they are both okay. I warned my precious sitter that next time, please pull over and call her parents. She said her dad said the same thing. A person talking on a cell phone has a 4 times HIGHER chance of getting in an accident than a DRUNK DRIVER. So please, Hang up and Drive.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

On Cabbages and Kings

Get used to the blog in big print, I think I need new glasses. Sad but true.

If you know Alice in Wonderland you get my title..if not, sorry, I'm totally random today.

What is it about kids and bathrooms? MB is very fond of playing in the bathroom (behold the power of water splashing all over the bathroom...dear boy, how on earth did you get the back of the door wet??) Well, today, while I was working I hear MB in the bathroom. He comes out asking to brush his teeth, so I give him the bubble gum toothpaste and his dolphin brush and send him off....

a short while later, while holding by bladder longer than any human should after drinking 3-1/2 cups of coffee and I run to the bathroom....but wait....the door is LOCKED and there is nobody in there. I hear you laughing and urging me to use the master bathroom right? Sure, if we HAD another bathroom. We are stuck w/only 1 bathroom and MB locked and then shut the door. I am happy to say I called daddy at work and asked him how to jimmy the lock and I am potty accident free! I have now forbidden MB to lock the door which means he will lock it again later today. *sigh*

On a WILD (and just to prove how sick I really am) note, I found BACON bandages.'s a Band-Aid that looks like bacon. It cracks me up. I really want to get them for MB, but they are a bit pricy. This site has a lot of goofy, over the top stocking stuffers I can't wait to get for DH and the boys. LOL>...maybe my stocking will be filled with bacon bandages. It's sick but too funny. They also have a bacon air freshener, but it really smells like bacon and that is just TOO much temptation. At least the band-aids are not greasy or scented. Who thinks this stuff up? I want that job.

MOPs is on Friday and today MB tells me he has a headache. He's been telling me this all morning, so now I know it is real. I gave him some Tylenol about 30 minutes ago and he tells me it is gone now, but MOPs is Friday and I'm in charge of the kiddos. What, pray tell, am I going to do if he is sick? I'm IN CHARGE....
How did I know this would happen.

I know I wanted to tell you more, but worries for the folks in Texas has overshadowed my brain today (not that it was not a bit addled anyway), so I will let you go now.
Here's to hoping Rita mellows out a bit before she gets any closer....

Monday, September 19, 2005

Oh these kids...

1 laptop computer full of educational games ......$750.
1 room full of Little People and other imagination inspiring play toys... $500
1 Geo Trax train set w/about 12 expansion packs ....somwhere in the neighborhood of $300.

1 4-year-old kid who would rather play with Pringles cans at the kitchen table.....Priceless.

Bush and Louisiana and Sheer Stupidity

I read the news everyday and I am really beginning to wonder why. For those of you who are hoping this post is designed to blast President Bush, turn away now, it is not going to happen here. While I may not agree with all that the man does, I voted for him and I respect him and will honor his decisions (though I do not always agree with what or why he is doing them). That being said, I read today with great disdain that the Mayor of New Orleans is pushing to have 1/3 of Louisiana's people back at home by mid week...despite warnings of a new hurricane headed for the Keys of Florida that could dump heavy rains on the already strained levee system in La. My question, Mr. Mayor McCheese is why? Are you so desperate to look like some kind of hero in this whole Katrina debacle that you are again willing to risk the lives of your citizens?

You read me right... a GREAT portion of the debacle is YOUR fault. The buses you used to ship people to the dome...why were they not used to get them out of the city? The dozens upon dozens of school and MT buses that were found floating....floating in the mire were not utilized to MOVE people out of harms way. Why? Simple things that could have gotten a lot of people out faster than stranding them in your own Thunderdome. Yes, I understand that people are silly and think they can ride anything out in simple structures of nails and wood and the occasional brick but you are just as responsible for not utilizing your own resources to get people out of there. Hindsight is 20/20 isn't it.

But wait, there is more. This Mayor McCheese is now COMPLAINING that Bush's FEMA director has set himself up as "the federal mayor of New Orleans". What are you complaining about. They are telling you not to bring people back too quickly because the INFRASTRUCTURE can NOT handle the PRESSURE too quickly. The power grid is not totally back up, the HOSPITALS are not open or are destroyed or are not federally regulated because they can not be ready yet, but they will open where they can because they MUST if you are letting people back in. You are risking lives of the medical workers as well as potential patients by opening too soon. The stores are not open or cleaned. The NOT ready for the demand it will face. AND THE LEVEES are NOT ready to handle a bunch of rain...which you may very well get if you don't get hurricane force winds. FEMA does not want to be mayor, the PRESIDENT has warned you that you do what you are doing at your own judgment and peril.

I really do understand people want and need to get back and assess what it will take to return to "normal" though I am not sure their normal will ever be the same again (it never is after a tragedy) but bringing them back too soon to boost your own ego and chances of "re-election" is stupid and down right dangerous. And I hope, for the sake of those who believe you and return, that they are not the ones to bear the brunt of your ignorance and short sightedness.

Oh, and ex-president Clinton, GIVE IT A REST. Blaming President Bush for the poverty and lack of a disaster plan in Louisiana is like blaming Chelsea that you are her father. She can't help what she had nothing to do with. President Bush is not responsible for every state to have a workable disaster plan. There are guidelines in place and if a state chooses to not drill or make sure their plan works, it is NOT the president's fault. Would it have been your fault if it happened on your watch? You would have been blubbering with the people in the dome but it still would have happened and you still would have had to wake the National Guard and that still would have taken days and days.

I am so sorry for the people of Louisiana who are struggling through this, but please don't rush back into danger. Please listen to the president and FEMA and wait just a bit longer to be sure you will be as safe as possible when you do return. Your meager items left behind, though important and sentimental are NOT worth your life. Your life is your life. Live it responsibly.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

A little pepper in there for ya......

I was going to say potpourri, but I know guys read this too. Hehehe.. This one is all over the place updates:

Andrew and Amy: They got to go home from the hospital this morning. Andrew definitely has severe obstructive sleep apnea and has to be on oxygen at night. The good news is that all he needs is his tonsils and adnoids taken out at this point. He will probably also have a G-tube placed so that he can get rid of his NG tube (and we all know how much I hate, detest, despise, and abhor the NG tube in any face for more than 3 months. MB had his for over 2 years and Andrew has had his since he was 2 months old (he's over 2 years w/it now too). So the G-tube will help him eat, talk, etc. and it will be a good thing. I will let you know when they are ready to do that so those who pray can pray for one of my favorite little men.

MB thought of the day: Not really a though for today, but he sure did crack me up with it. In my attempt to raise a logical, linear thinking, self sufficient male, I told MB to turn the light on in his room using the kitchen broom (actually, his toy broom, he loves to sweep what can I say) but he uses my kitchen broom (sadly, probably more than I) and now has dubbed it the "turn on the light 6000" and every time he uses it to turn on the light he THANKS ME for inventing my "turn on the light 6000". This kid is going to make me wet my pants laughing one of these days.

Gila Monster Spit (aka Byetta): Well, finally, I don't get totally sick when I use it. It took a week. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, I'm not sure yet) I can now eat more than when I first started taking it. See, even the magic bullet requires discipline on my part. Nothing is ever easy is it. LOL.

My Scale: My bathroom scale is now officially smoking dope. It says that MB weights 51 pounds. Yeah, with a brick hanging down his back. MB weighed 35 pounds (almost 36) at his doc visit last if he suddenly gained that much weight I'd wonder where he is stashing the brownies and why his pants still fall off. That being said, my weight, according to the drugged out scale, is down 52 pounds. LOL. I guess I will just stay off of it and wait till I get to the doc at the end of the month.

TOYS: Hey, I guess I shouldn't just put it out there, but I'm gonna. Discovery Toys is collecting for hurricane relief. For every dollar donated to the Red Cross through Discovery Toys, we will donate $5 in toys to schools (preschools and public and private schools) in the affected areas. If you want to donate and you know my email, email me and we will work it out. And of course, if you want to do a catalog party for Christmas, we can work that out too.

I'm sure there is more I meant to update you on, but I'm tired, just cleaned out the fridge and need to do dishes and because my chicken is not thawed in time...Chinese is on the way (I did veggie lo mien, thanks for asking!)

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Things I never knew about butterflies

We had some overdue books and videos (only 1 day, no fee baby!!!) so though we need gas and are budgeting it carefully, I had to venture to the library today. It's a nice day in Tennessee, sunny and only hovering around 90, not horribly humid but not great window weather. All in all a pretty day.

We get to the library and since MB is suffering from run-across-a-parking-lotitis and I really don't want to spank him (that is a spanking offense in our house) we park next to the building thus no lot to cross to get to the library.

The Horticulture Club of our town does a FANTASTIC job of keeping the library beautiful (maybe I should join so I could learn how to plant a garden, flower or otherwise). The Marigolds are out in full bloom right now at the library and MB LOVES flowers (mostly to pick them, but generally to sniff them). We see a bunch of butterflies on the marigolds. MB asks to pick one. "no honey, those are for all of us to enjoy. Aren't they pretty". "Yes momma" is the awed reply I get. "Will the butterflies be here when we leave?" "I don't know baby, we'll see".

We go pick out new videos and books and head out about 30 minutes later.

The butterflies, alas, have gone. The funny conversation goes like this:
"Mommy, where did the butterflies all go?".
"I don't know sweetie, but if you want to smell the flowers go ahead.".
"Mommy, I can't sniff the flowers!" (insert stop of foot here).
"Why not hunny?"
"The butterflies POOPIED on them!" (turns in disgust and walks away)

I swear, where does this kid come up with this stuff?????

GILA moster spit update

I'm down 100 pounds already! LOL..not really, but I bet it's about 10 pounds. Here are a few answers to crazy things...
1. No, it does not glow green. Though I'd probably like that better, at least it would be my favorite color!
2. It is a shot, I have no idea what it tastes like (unless you count the reflux it tastes like acid then. ROFLOL and munching Tums).
3. I am gonna guess I have lost about 10 pounds total now because my clothes fit better already and 1 of my 3 chins is gone.
4. I eat about as much as my 4 year old. Any more and I either get wicked diarrhea or a stomach ache that would down a horse. MB actually ate more than me yesterday.
5. I really have NO desire to eat and wish the nausea would let up a bit already (it is supposed to let up soon).
6. No, I'm not anorexic, I'm learing to be careful about what and how much I eat.

I go back to my doc at the end of the month for an update. I feel tired when I feel sick, but other than that, this really has been great. I got a few bruises from the injection, but now I'm shotting in my arm and the needle is so small I don't even feel it...but I know it works because I feel queezy like I ate too much all the time. This is supposed to fade...right.....

any other Gila Moster Spit questions out there....

Oh, I found out that it is a Type 2 diabetes medication so I got to get rid of 1 of those for this. The drug's name, for those who care, is Byetta.
This, along with sensible eating and exercising as tolerated, seems like a good deal for me.
I will updae you when I see my doc again.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Prayers for a special boy

I covet your prayers for a dear little friend of ours. His name is Andrew and he is one amazing kid. His mom, Amy, is amazing as well. MB and I met Andrew in nephrology clinic a few years ago. Andrew, like MB, was born in renal failure and was on dialysis and had an NG tube. Unlike MB, Andrew has some other complications, one in particular called Prune Belly Syndrome. Basically he has no stomach muscles. (He's the cutest little Buddha belly you ever did see!). Kids with PBS don't usually live to see 2, but Andrew has. This kid, as I said, is remarkable. He has been, however, scaring the begeebies out of us for some time now.

I was blessed to be able to help Amy through the dialysis at home, giving her hints about the NG tube and trying to get the kiddos to eat and prayed with her through the transplant (she gave Andrew a kidney last August). We have laughed, cried and complained to one another from the first time I called her to just check in till today.

MB has doctor visits once per month to make sure his kidney (Given by his daddy 3 years ago in August and doing great) is working well, and it is. But because I know Amy and Andrew so well, I can always ask about them and I have permission to get information (thanks Amy). So when we went to the doc on Thursday we found out Andrew was in. In the last 3 months I think Andrew has been out of the hospital maybe 3 weeks total. It is NOT easy to be a hospital mom with a kid that is regularly inpatient (thankfully, and by the grace of God, MB has not been in for about 2 years now I think, maybe one short dehydration visit last winter, but I really can't remember, but before that, we LIVED at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital). SO we went to visit Amy and Andrew after MB's visit.

Andrew LIT UP when MB walked in the room. He can not talk, but he about jumped out of crib when he saw MB. He LOOOOOVVES MB. We bring treats. LOL. He blows kisses to MB and holds hands and hugs him. Awesome stuff.

The prayers for Andrew come in because the last 3 visits to VCH have been because of severe breathing (and one blue baby) incidents. Poor Amy is about at her end of herself (focus on the good stuff girl...the good stuff). They told her yesterday that 2 docs have now walked in on Andrew during sleep apnea events...of the severe nature. They are doing some tests on him and will probably have to do surgery. He also has some reflux issues causing, they believe, fluid aspiration in his lungs (when he has reflux, instead of going back down, it's going in his lungs, not good..causes pneumonia). So he's a sick little boy right now. They are talking about doing 3 potential surgeries on this little guy. Amy is sick, as any mom would be.

SO I ask for prayers for this very precious little guy who has an AMAZING will to live. The surgeries are dangerous because he is immunosuppressed to keep the kidney functioning. These kiddos (mine included) are a heck of a lot more fragile than they appear.

Pray the docs will lead Amy in the right direction.
Pray Amy will KNOW what is right for her son.
Pray Andrew will continue to fight.

Amy was supposed to meet another mom with Prune Belly Syndrome that is 12 years old, but she left before Amy got there. If you know of anybody else who's child has this, please message me if they are willing to talk to Amy. It is through comfort of others in the same situation we find our strength. I sure do appreciate it. And thanks for the prayers.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Gila monster spit.

I have decided to take a detour in my quest to get rid, literally, of half of me. As I posted earlier in my blog, I have been considering gastric bypass as a way to lose weight. Do I think this would be easy...nope. I'm not that naive. But I'm also, it seems, a giant chicken. I have a bad feeling about me and GB and have since I started considering it 5 years ago. I know to lose weight takes discipline and desire 90% the former and 10% the latter. If it were all desire I'd weigh 120 to 150 by now. But I don't. And I am not a happy camper where I am. I can't do simple stuff anymore, but I digress.

Today I started on a new medication. . . Basically it is a chemical in the spit of a Gila monster. Yes, the lizard. It is an injection (just like an insulin injection from the pen for those who have done that) that you take 15 min. before breakfast (or first meal of the day) and 15 min. before dinner. I started it with dinner. I was told the only side effect is nausea. I am thankful that is not what I have experienced. BUT, it does make you feel, rather uncomfortably, full. Like you already ate too much. It is a hormone that re-stimulates the hormone my compulsive over eating has destroyed. The key is to eat till you are full...which did not take long.

We had spaghetti for dinner tonight. I ate less than the 4 year old, which oddly has been my theory all along. If I could eat as much as my 4 year old eats, I would be thinner.

I am VERY Careful when it comes to this kind of stuff. I tried Meridia before, and though it worked, I had some pretty uncomfortable side effects and stopped it immediately. I will do the same again, believe me.

Tonight, I have some hope. I did find out at the docs office that I am 6 pounds lighter than I was 2 weeks ago, so that's a good thing. I have also begun exercises as much as my body will allow first thing in the morning. I know it is going to take time. I have to do this. Thank you for participating in my adventures in weight loss. I would post current weight here, but shame prohibits me from doing that right now. Just know, it's gonna get lower.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

What is in a kiss?

I have to tell you, one of the things that I totally LOVE about being a mommy is the accidents. Not the "I didn't make it to the potty on time" accidents, but the "I was running without my glasses on even though you must tell me 12 times a day not to run in the house and because I have no dept perception I rammed into the wall and hit the vacuum cleaner and pinched my finger so now I'm squealing like a piglet being chased by a rabid goose...kiss my finger and make it better" accidents.

Yes, that is the kind of kiss I am talking about. I think I am going to go through some kind of mommy depression when MB gets too old for me to just tickle-kiss wrestle with or when my smootch can make that same smashed finger FINE again. I have administered kisses over Bugs Bunny Band-Aids that magically heal cuts. I have given kisses to a walloped head and made bumps the size of Everest disappear. I have dotted kisses around the nape of a neck and had somebody, mid-hissy-fit break out in laughter and our little line of "mommy can you stop kissing me now?" to which I am obliged to reply NEVAAAAA and dot more smootches around said nape stop the fit cold...well, squiggly and wiggly cold.

What is it exactly that is in that kiss?

In a word. (okay, 2) Unconditional LOVE.

MB knows (I hope) and I am definitely sure there is nothing in a kiss but LOVE and love heals all wounds (well, love, time and sometimes antibiotic ointment). But LOVE tells you that though you didn't listen and ran in the house and whacked the crap out of your hand, you are still loved.

If you did not know that love as a child, I hope you find it in life. If you administer magic smootches, LOVE IT the step mom of a 12 and 10 year old, unfortunately the magic does not last, they don't want a smootch.....*sigh*......they want a big ole BEAR HUG.

And as an adult, I LONG to hear a random I love you from my parents still. And sometimes I get one and I didn't even have to whack my hand to get it.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

What in the blazes is wrong witth these people

I can not believe what I am reading today now that the NG is getting into the currently "empty" dome. Look, I know it was rough, but WHY IN THE HELL is there a 7 year old girl dead in a refrigerator with her throat slashed. NO hurricane did that, some piece of work who thought somebody owed him/her something did that. OMG...I can not even begin to imagine how the parents would feel. I would die if that happened to my child. What kind of monsters were in the dome? There is NO WAY anybody can blame THAT on President Bush. That is a crime of ignorance and self absorbed animalism that came on somebody LONG before the hurricane.

I am sick to my stomach as I type this and in tears. If this is the future of our society that seems hellbent on teaching situational ethics and well as narsicicism I really fear for the future of my MB and all the other kiddos coming up behind him.

As if the tragedy of the hurricane were not enough in and of itself, why must men (the universal mankind, but I see no KIND in this situation) insist on making it worse.

I think I need to focus on Mississippi where the whole city was destroyed but no 7 year old girls were found murdered in a fridge, where people are going out of their way to HELP one another not hurt, riot and loot.

Mississippi, my heart goes out to you. To most of Louisiana, what the heck were you thinking. (please note I said MOST).

Friday, September 02, 2005

The innocence of children

Every night at 9:30p I have to give MB medicine. He is usually asleep when I do this. A whisper of "it's mommy" and he opens his mouth and takes his meds without a fight. I don't know what it is about a sleeping child but I have to kiss that angelic face. All sweaty and shiny (the kid sleeps in a 'cave' of blankets, none of which cover him, but surround him on his lower bunk bed like a cocoon). He usually does not wake up when I kiss him. I can not resist the secret kiss between me and God and my precious boy. He does not remember them...I will never forget them. The innocence. The trust. The sheer love.

I am amazed and awed when I think that GOD himself loves to look upon me while I sleep and is filled with such joy for me as well.

God looks down on all of us with the wonder, joy and concern we look at our kids with, and we look at our world with. Even when we have had a bad day, God still loves us and rejoices that we are his creation, fashioned in his image, for HIS glory, to honor and love Him back.

Just like MB sleeping in his cave.

I wonder if God leans over and kisses us and we just don't remember in the morning.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Katrina and other musings..

I am trying to wrap my brain around what is going on costally in LA, MI and AL, but honestly, my brain is not big enough. I have engineering ideas I have no clue how to share to stop the water from flowing in, I am sickened by the animalistic nature that has shown in so many of my fellow human beings and praying there are even subtle acts of kindness and compassion happening that are just not "news worthy" (and shame on the news people for not showing that too). I ponder why water and food were not immediately flown to the stadium where people were trying to have some sort of life while waiting to see what to do next. I am perplexed that our country has forgotten to teach our young men that it IS appropriate that women and children go first and sad that women, in a desperate attempt to be considered "equal" to men, didn't remind men that women and children go first. (again, a blog for another time. Ladies, the world will never see us as equals. They may play like they do, but they will never pay like they do).

The other thing that had me freaked today is the fact that gas in Tennessee is $3 per gallon and guaranteed to go up. After going to 3 gas stations to FIND gas this morning My DH payed $25 for a little less than 1/2 tank of gas, a tank is about what he uses to go back and forth to work in a week, folx, thats $200 per month for gas for 1 vehicle. $200!!!! I don't know about you, but I surly can not afford that. MB does not go to day care because we can not afford the $120 per week for that. Thank goodness I telecommute to my job....but every now and then even I have to go to a doc appointment with MB or myself...and that is all we are going out for now.

BUT...I have a memory...I remember the 70's with Carter as president, an oil crisis, LOOOOONG lines for gas and then being told when we were 3rd in line the station was out of gas. Rising prices for everything and recession.

Is this the market correction we have been waiting for for several years now? I don't know, but we have made it through such crises before and we, the USA will make it through again.

I will do what I can for the gulf coast, including donating blood and whatever else I can spare.
And I will be home for a while because I just can not afford to go anywhere for now.

BUT MOST OF ALL, I will pray because I KNOW who holds the future, and it is worth the living just because He lives.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

OH, the perfect ringer to my day...the Rat is dead.

No, tis not a real rat, it's actually MB's hamster. Yes, I did not like the thing, but I took care of it anyway for the sake of MB. Lately it was smelling a bit more than usual, but it's been warm...ratsters smell pretty funky anyway...right.

Well, apparently not. I have trained myself to ignore the sounds of the hamster in his cage, Hammie was his name, by the way. I realized after settling down in my horrible day only to think..hmmmm haven't heard from Hammie at all today. Then it's time to put MB to bed and we happen by Hammie's cage. I did not see him, so I opened the cage, a sound the usually elicits said vermin to the front of the cage for a pumpkin seed treat. Not tonight I'm afraid.
MB is standing right next to me but decides to runn oft. He drinks his juice not 5 feet from dead Hammie and heads obliviously off to bed.

I thought about what to do. Throw the "rat" away and leave the cage open and say Hammire ran off? Just clean it all up and play like Hammie escaped? Get a new hamster (at 9pm on a Tuesday?) before Sam noticed the dead Hammie? We opted for the cold hard truth.

We had to break his peace and his heart and tell him Hammie was dead. This is the first death MB has had to deal with (thankfully) but still. He cried for 30 heart breaking minutes. I tell you what, I didn't like the hamster but to see MB cry like that broke my heart and had me considering mouth to mouth on the "probably been dead all day rate in a cage". 4 should not know that pain.

I think I have him convinced to pray about our next pet. He told dead Hammie that he wanted a hermit crab and a smaller dog that will not die. Oh the innocence of youth.

Maybe someday little boy, but mommy can not handle to watch your heart break again, so no HERMIT CRAB and we will see some day about a small puppy.

When all He** breaks loose

I don't know if it is the weather, hormones, or just a wickedly bad day, but today is probably one of the worst days EVER for me. Seriously bad. It blew in with the hurricane last night, which I am happy to say for us, did nothing but spit some rain on our house, cause a temporary power out (very temporary) and blow a lot of warm air around (a lot like political debate, eventually somebody gets burned).

I started out reading a friend's enthusiastic blog (see Tracy at right here) and agreed wholeheartedly with what was said. I walked into my day happy to be alive and full of vibrant tiredness (yes, we stayed up too late watching Troy, then the weather radio went off at almost 2 and then I had to get up at 5:30a). Tired, but nothing I have not handled before really. I log into work and start typing while half listening the the gut wrenching news from Louisiana and Kentucky, Georgia and Alabama. Wow, I am lucky.

Then my computer will not log into work. (you see, I get paid to typing, no money, no money, no house, car, food, you get the point). So I reboot the computer and try again. Now I log in and start typing (15 minutes later than I should be there). I type a job, a good LONG job and I can not save it to the system. Frantically I call and the problem is on their end. I will, (because I am impatient and hit lots of buttons trying to force the save) have to re-boot again and they will send me the last saved version of my file. bad. Half the job is gone and I have to type it again (feel the frustration level rising).

Then MB has a playdate set. We were expecting bad storms ala hurricane Katrina this afternoon so I call N's mom to see if she still wants MB there (he kind of freaks w/loud thunder). Sure. So MB goes to N's house to play. I stop work about 20 minutes before I am supposed to so I can drive him across town to N's house. I head back home thinking I can get some work done. Work slams me into the OBNOXIOUS Hospital to type and I get to do discharge summaries all day. No big deal really, they usually boost line count...unless you get the Horse Whisperer. He is a PA or NP (not sure which, physician assistant or nurse practicioner). The guy whispers his dictations like he is some secret agent and somebody is going to know who/what he is dictating and that would be agains HIPAA regulations. So I'm typing horse whisperer and the power goes out. NOOoooooOOooooo. The cries could be heard across the country if you listened at 11:30 am central time today. No, it was not a mouse in your basement caught in a trap, it was me yelling about losing yet ANOTHER job today.

At that point I figure I'm due some lunch and a cat nap....then, behold the Horizontal alarm goes off. If you missed that post, it is the alarm that goes off in somebody's head while I'm sleeping that "Hey, now would be a good time to call MommaRia." The phone rings 5 minutes after I fall asleep. I get off the phone with DH and go back to sleep. The phone rings again..this time it's N's mom saying MB misses me and wants to come home. REEEEEAAALLY. the kid who tells me he's bored wants to come home. I wonder if N's mom tried to make him eat. SO I run get MB a few hours before I had planned/hoped.

We get home and I log back in to work and am still forced into that Hospital and typing the Horse Whisperer. I get into the swing of him (sort of) and things are looking okay to get a decent line count if I can just keep going. But no, that would be too easy. I'm into a 3:40 min/sec job and the phone rings. It's DH. We have a heated discussion on the phone and for a countless number of reasons including me flat out telling him I did not want to talk about IT now, but he pushed, so I Shoved. I am sorry for that. (sidebar...guys, when we say "I'd really not like to talk about this NOW and over the phone", please please, for the love of GOD believe us). I hung up on, not the nice way, I flat out hung up on DH. (again, honey, I'm sorry for the hang up, but you were supposed to be working and I was supposed to be really was not the time to have that discussion).

Now I'm really in a bad mood...but wait, there is more.....

I am typing this 3 minute 40 second dictation which ends up being a 1-1/2 hour job. Yes, it took me 1-1/2 hours to type it because 1) it is the Horse Whisperer, 2) He is using a bunch of orthopedic phrases, not my specialty, 3) phone, 4) MB pulling me saying "you gotta see this", 5) my now upset stomach and a headache. All of the worlds combined to somehow make my computer do this anomaly thing where it deletes entire passages I have typed (only on work stuff though) and replaces it with a different passage. NOBODY knows why this happens, but it only seems to happen to me....*sigh*, but I lost the 1-1/2 hour heard me....LOST IT. In a perfect world (I hear you laughing, mock my pain!) there is a back up at the work's computer that they can recover for me. I know you are smart enough to know even before I type it what happened next...don't you....yep, you're right. The back up was the anomaly one, not the one I spent 1-1/2 hours typing. Are you as sick as I am right now. I cried. I actually REALLY shed tears while on the phone with the tech guy from work. I was 100% the stereotypical woman and I LOST IT ON THE PHONE. Then I hung up, retyped what was lost and stopped working before I put a sledgehammer into the computer, the wall, yadda yadda.

This is the first time, apparently, that MB saw me cry. He was all "What's wrong momma?". I told him mommy was having a bad day. He told me he was having a bad day too. Then he insisted on making me watch Baby Einstein while I tried to cook dinner to "make my day better. It's amazing how they help you get over the bad days.

A few baby Einstein minutes later dinner was ready and I had zerberted his tummy and my favorite spot on the back of his neck and felt better.

I realize though my day sucked cheezedoodles, I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a house tonight, a bed, a husband and a son who makes me laugh. I am not 100% okay yet, but you know what....I will be. When you have done all else...Stand. I'm still standing...bruised, battered and feeling like a jerk, but standing.