Tuesday, August 30, 2005

OH, the perfect ringer to my day...the Rat is dead.

No, tis not a real rat, it's actually MB's hamster. Yes, I did not like the thing, but I took care of it anyway for the sake of MB. Lately it was smelling a bit more than usual, but it's been warm...ratsters smell pretty funky anyway...right.

Well, apparently not. I have trained myself to ignore the sounds of the hamster in his cage, Hammie was his name, by the way. I realized after settling down in my horrible day only to think..hmmmm haven't heard from Hammie at all today. Then it's time to put MB to bed and we happen by Hammie's cage. I did not see him, so I opened the cage, a sound the usually elicits said vermin to the front of the cage for a pumpkin seed treat. Not tonight I'm afraid.
MB is standing right next to me but decides to runn oft. He drinks his juice not 5 feet from dead Hammie and heads obliviously off to bed.

I thought about what to do. Throw the "rat" away and leave the cage open and say Hammire ran off? Just clean it all up and play like Hammie escaped? Get a new hamster (at 9pm on a Tuesday?) before Sam noticed the dead Hammie? We opted for the cold hard truth.

We had to break his peace and his heart and tell him Hammie was dead. This is the first death MB has had to deal with (thankfully) but still. He cried for 30 heart breaking minutes. I tell you what, I didn't like the hamster but to see MB cry like that broke my heart and had me considering mouth to mouth on the "probably been dead all day rate in a cage". 4 should not know that pain.

I think I have him convinced to pray about our next pet. He told dead Hammie that he wanted a hermit crab and a smaller dog that will not die. Oh the innocence of youth.

Maybe someday little boy, but mommy can not handle to watch your heart break again, so no HERMIT CRAB and we will see some day about a small puppy.

When all He** breaks loose

I don't know if it is the weather, hormones, or just a wickedly bad day, but today is probably one of the worst days EVER for me. Seriously bad. It blew in with the hurricane last night, which I am happy to say for us, did nothing but spit some rain on our house, cause a temporary power out (very temporary) and blow a lot of warm air around (a lot like political debate, eventually somebody gets burned).

I started out reading a friend's enthusiastic blog (see Tracy at right here) and agreed wholeheartedly with what was said. I walked into my day happy to be alive and full of vibrant tiredness (yes, we stayed up too late watching Troy, then the weather radio went off at almost 2 and then I had to get up at 5:30a). Tired, but nothing I have not handled before really. I log into work and start typing while half listening the the gut wrenching news from Louisiana and Kentucky, Georgia and Alabama. Wow, I am lucky.

Then my computer will not log into work. (you see, I get paid to type...no typing, no money, no money, no house, car, food, you get the point). So I reboot the computer and try again. Now I log in and start typing (15 minutes later than I should be there). I type a job, a good LONG job and I can not save it to the system. Frantically I call and the problem is on their end. I will, (because I am impatient and hit lots of buttons trying to force the save) have to re-boot again and they will send me the last saved version of my file. Okay....my bad. Half the job is gone and I have to type it again (feel the frustration level rising).

Then MB has a playdate set. We were expecting bad storms ala hurricane Katrina this afternoon so I call N's mom to see if she still wants MB there (he kind of freaks w/loud thunder). Sure. So MB goes to N's house to play. I stop work about 20 minutes before I am supposed to so I can drive him across town to N's house. I head back home thinking I can get some work done. Work slams me into the OBNOXIOUS Hospital to type and I get to do discharge summaries all day. No big deal really, they usually boost line count...unless you get the Horse Whisperer. He is a PA or NP (not sure which, physician assistant or nurse practicioner). The guy whispers his dictations like he is some secret agent and somebody is going to know who/what he is dictating and that would be agains HIPAA regulations. So I'm typing horse whisperer and the power goes out. NOOoooooOOooooo. The cries could be heard across the country if you listened at 11:30 am central time today. No, it was not a mouse in your basement caught in a trap, it was me yelling about losing yet ANOTHER job today.

At that point I figure I'm due some lunch and a cat nap....then, behold the Horizontal alarm goes off. If you missed that post, it is the alarm that goes off in somebody's head while I'm sleeping that "Hey, now would be a good time to call MommaRia." The phone rings 5 minutes after I fall asleep. I get off the phone with DH and go back to sleep. The phone rings again..this time it's N's mom saying MB misses me and wants to come home. REEEEEAAALLY. the kid who tells me he's bored wants to come home. I wonder if N's mom tried to make him eat. SO I run get MB a few hours before I had planned/hoped.

We get home and I log back in to work and am still forced into that Hospital and typing the Horse Whisperer. I get into the swing of him (sort of) and things are looking okay to get a decent line count if I can just keep going. But no, that would be too easy. I'm into a 3:40 min/sec job and the phone rings. It's DH. We have a heated discussion on the phone and for a countless number of reasons including me flat out telling him I did not want to talk about IT now, but he pushed, so I Shoved. I am sorry for that. (sidebar...guys, when we say "I'd really not like to talk about this NOW and over the phone", please please, for the love of GOD believe us). I hung up on DH...no, not the nice way, I flat out hung up on DH. (again, honey, I'm sorry for the hang up, but you were supposed to be working and I was supposed to be working..it really was not the time to have that discussion).

Now I'm really in a bad mood...but wait, there is more.....

I am typing this 3 minute 40 second dictation which ends up being a 1-1/2 hour job. Yes, it took me 1-1/2 hours to type it because 1) it is the Horse Whisperer, 2) He is using a bunch of orthopedic phrases, not my specialty, 3) phone, 4) MB pulling me saying "you gotta see this", 5) my now upset stomach and a headache. All of the worlds combined to somehow make my computer do this anomaly thing where it deletes entire passages I have typed (only on work stuff though) and replaces it with a different passage. NOBODY knows why this happens, but it only seems to happen to me....*sigh*, but I lost the 1-1/2 hour job.....you heard me....LOST IT. In a perfect world (I hear you laughing, stop...you mock my pain!) there is a back up at the work's computer that they can recover for me. I know you ....you are smart enough to know even before I type it what happened next...don't you....yep, you're right. The back up was the anomaly one, not the one I spent 1-1/2 hours typing. Are you as sick as I am right now. I cried. I actually REALLY shed tears while on the phone with the tech guy from work. I was 100% the stereotypical woman and I LOST IT ON THE PHONE. Then I hung up, retyped what was lost and stopped working before I put a sledgehammer into the computer, the wall, yadda yadda.

This is the first time, apparently, that MB saw me cry. He was all "What's wrong momma?". I told him mommy was having a bad day. He told me he was having a bad day too. Then he insisted on making me watch Baby Einstein while I tried to cook dinner to "make my day better. It's amazing how they help you get over the bad days.

A few baby Einstein minutes later dinner was ready and I had zerberted his tummy and my favorite spot on the back of his neck and felt better.

I realize though my day sucked cheezedoodles, I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a house tonight, a bed, a husband and a son who makes me laugh. I am not 100% okay yet, but you know what....I will be. When you have done all else...Stand. I'm still standing...bruised, battered and feeling like a jerk, but standing.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

The Weight of the WEIGHT issue

Well, it has now come to my attention that our insurance company will actually pay for gastric bypass surgery, you know, where they make your stomach the size of a cigar. Well, all of it except the anesthesiologist (apparently they don't cover this in any procedure as I'm still trying to pay one off after having my tubes tied a long time ago). So now the problem.

I have thought about this for years now, had several friends go through the procedure with great weight loss results (all but 1 has kept over 100 pounds off for years now), but all fraught with complications.

My "risks" and problems seem many in my mind and include:


1. What happens if I actually did NOT make it off the table. This is a potential side effect, albeit a wicked and permanent one. What would happen to MB and DH? All this because I'm fat?

2. What about the recovery time (as little as 2-4 weeks for 1 friend and as many as 2 to almost 3 months for another who had a pretty severe complicated infection afterward). No workie=no pay. I'm not sure we can lose my income for that period of time. In fact, I'm sure we can not.

3. Who will take care of me while healing from the surgery? Successful surgery = out of hospital in a few days. Then what? Who will take care of MB?

4. I already have a bad/weird relationship with food, what is going to happen when all I can do is sip water and eat 1/2 a cracker. According to 1 person, you throw up an awful lot if you eat something your body is not ready for. I can already not eat for a day at a time because I 'forget'. Will I plunge myself into a very real anorexic situation? Will I get freaked out by generally harmless food and make myself throw up all the time?

5. Why will an insurance company pay for GB (upward of $50,000 I am told) but not for a gym membership and a lifestyle coach to retrain a person?

I feel horribly selfish as I write these things. I am not sure gastric bypass is the option for me, but something has to happen. Praying has not helped (except to help me realize how weak and needy I really am), the conventional diets I have tried do not seem to help but for a short time and then I gain back what I lost and the additional "hey I failed here too" obligatory 10 pounds. I find myself seriously wondering about things like hypontism. I feel so helpless in this area. I know below several kind ppl said they would help, but you are scattered to the ends of the world since none of you live here and can make me get away from work and walk and put the pie down.

I hate feeling so confused and utterly out of control. Why is it I can help everybody else, but not myself? Sheesh, I can hear Dr. Phil now.


Thursday, August 25, 2005

The Birthday Run Down

I know my birthday was a couple of days ago, but I just now finished it in my mind. Yes, now that I'm "old" (ROFLOL) it takes me a while to put it all together in the exercise yard if you know what I mean (if you don't it would take too long to explain).

It started out like any other birthday of mine...a series of BAD things. I started work at the usual 6am and MB decided it would be a good idea to get up at 6:30. NOOOOoooo. So we have that little battle. The night before the birthday was awesome. K in Virginia sent me burgers and potatoes and the first birthday cake since I was a kid that I did not have to bake myself. Yummy stuff too. MB decided that he wanted cake for breakfast, but after the cookout w/J and V the night before, there was no cake left for MB for breakfast (yes, I'm a terrible mother, we will go into that another time). So meltdown #1 of the day (MB, not me).

Then, back to work. Several computer glitches later and lost work (I get paid per line, so no lines no money...disappearing lines, no money).

We were supposed to get the new couch on Monday and I had 2 strapping young men here to move out the old one for me. It was like waiting for the cable guy. They will be there between 3 and 7, so I was told. 8:30 rolls around and WHERE is my couch? They don't have it on the truck and will deliver it on Tuesday (the actual day of birth for me). Alas, no strapping young men to help me. They call on Tuesday and will deliver it before 2. Yeah. okay, 2:30 I call. Um, probalby closer to 3. Sure, I'll buy that one. 3:45, here they are and then they decide to debate me on whether the couch will fit or not. Um...forgive me but it does not take a rocket scientist to MEASURE a space and a couch to make sure it will fit. I KNOW my house is small and not all furniture will fit so of COURSE we measured it. Then Dude cuts his arm on the way into the house and is now bleeding (oh please please please not on the new couch!!!).

I thought it was gonna be another one of "those" birthdays (as a child, it seemed that every year, on my birthday, my mom would go in the hospital. Yes, I know it was not on purpose, but why always MY birthday??? )

Karma? Kismet? Bad Luck? Who knows. But I was all prepared for another "bad one" (not only did I have to work all day but then I had a meeting for MOPS 30 mintues after I got off work, no rest for the weary).

But then the sun shone in. My friend V, who is no longer at my house,( see my whine about my houseguest leaving below) sent me a King Cake from Lousiana. LOL. We had talked about me always wanting to try one, so she sent me one for my birthday. MB, all wide eyed and full of awe after we decorated the cake, said "mommy, I want to eat that" and when I told him it was mommy's birthday cake, he promptly sang Happy Birthday to me and snarfed some cake. It was heaven. Both the cake and the song, silly.

The meeting was uneventful, DH got me 2 of the Willow Creek statues I wanted and overall, it was good, and at my age, what more could I ask for other than many more. LOL.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

The Blob.

Do you remember the Baaaaaad B-rated sci fi movie The Blob? I still long to have a bad B-rated movie night and just watch them all, but today I lived the Blob first hand. I know this will probably tick a lot of people off, but this is my blog, don't like it, comment or leave.....anyway, my birthday is Tuesday and DH took me out to buy clothes because I need them and they make a great birthday gift. However, I did not bode so well in the store. I grabbed a few cute outfits that were on clearance and tried them on. I think I need a 3 way mirror in my kitchen because if I had to actually LOOK at myself before I ate, I probably would never eat again.

I am actually a combination of freaked and grossed at what I have become. I was/am a human blob. I know my husband loves me, I know my son adores me, I know my friends like me, but what happens when you don't like yourself? Where do I start to fix this? I feel like Fat B. from Austin Powers "I eat because I don't like myself and I don't like myself because I eat". This is a bitter pill and one I swallow a lot.

I guess I need to try to lose weight again. I really have to do something. This just can not be safe. If you know me, you know I am not a small girl by any means, but I'm the biggest I have ever been and can not stand this.

I am going to try to use this blog to help myself be accountable to somebody about this weight thing. I don't need to lose 1 pound, 10 pounds or 50 pounds, I really need to lose about 120 pounds. Seriously, and then there would still be weight to lose.

So, encouragement and ideas are appreciated. I have high blood pressure and borderline diabetes, and a nasty little arthritis problem, especially in my right ankle, so this does not make this journey easier.

I need some help...any out there?

Saturday, August 20, 2005

She's gone home *sniff sniff*

Well after 2 weeks here at the Casa de Mi Familia, our V went home with her DH J. a few mintues ago. It was good to see J again, but I'm sad my V is gone. It's amazing how much she means to me. She, in her short time here at my house, was a wonderful houseguest. She never complained and was gracious in dealing with MB who can be a handful most of the time.

I'm glad she is better, but I will miss her face every day. *sigh*

Funny thing is, she and J will be back on Monday for doc visits and dinner (we promised him a grilled steak when he got home) and a small b-day celebration (thank you K in Virginia, you are AWESOME girl...thanks to you I don't have to make my own birthday cake).

We bawled when she left...it's like losing a limb. V-you are welcome back anytime...and the new couch comes Monday, so we will actually have a BED for our next visitors.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

50 things about me (since even I can't think of 100) worth knowing.

I'm bored today and should be working, but I came to take a break and play.
Here are 50 things about me you do or do not know, I won't bore you to death with 100 things about me. LOL...
1. I think I'm pretty abnormal.
2. I LOVE being a mom but wish MB said MOMMY a little less.
3. I think coffee is a food group.
4. I let my 4 year old drink coffee from my cup (if I don't he steals it anyway).
5. I over extend myself all the time.
6. I rarely get more than 5 or 6 hours of sleep per night and it is usually interrupted.
7. I really want to sleep more.
8. I grew up on the South Side of Chicago and DO NOT have a southern accent though I live in Tennessee now. (apparently that shocks people. LOL).
9. I miss Chicago a lot.
10. I have not had a vacation since my honeymoon 6 years ago and before that since 1988.
11. I LOVE cartoons and kids.
12. I hate working at home but don't see any way out of it.
13. I have a college degree in Radio, TV and Film.
15. I was a DJ for 18 years.
16. NO, I don't really miss it.
17. I would love to have more kids, but it is not happening.
18. My best friend lives in Bondville, Illinois and I miss her terribly.
19. I love to play with MB.
20. I wish DH and I would play more. We seem to have forgotten how to have fun together.
21. My birthday is Tuesday and today I'm worried because I think I forgot my MIL's birthday.
22. I live in perpetual pain, but try not to be a witch about it.
23. Ibuprofen is my friend *wink*.
24. I LOVE cooking but hate my kitchen.
25. I HATE doing dishes and laundry.
26. I would rather clean a bathroom than a kitchen.
27. No matter how hard I try, I can not bake chocolate chip cookies correctly, though I keep trying.
28. I HAVE to be taking care of something to feel useful in life.
29. I wish I had more time to attend a regular Bible study or could FIND one.
30. I love to be alone though I never am.
31. My favorite movie is the Princess Bride which I didn't even know about until my best friend told me about it when I was in my 20's.
32. I grew up on a "farm"...we raised Bees.
33. I think berries are God's gift to me.
34. We are growing our own pumpkins for Halloween this year.
35. I was in the honor society in high school.
36. I graduated from High School early because I was bored and wanted to go to college.
37. I worked for a CPA when I was 13 years old doing bookkeeping for businesses.
38. I hate math.
39. I dream of being the voice of a cartoon character.
40. I wish I were disciplined in my life.
41. I need a maid. LOL
42. Both of my parents are alive still and I still have 1 remaining grandmother, but she's a bit of a freak. (is that horrible to say?)
43. I really don't hate anybody. There are people I don't want to be around, but I don't hate them.
44. I wish the world was safer and I didn't have to worry about letting my MB go out to play.
45. I wish there were more little kiddos around our neighborhood.
46. I don't want to be the coordinator for Moppets starting next month but will do it anyway.
47. I love the color green, almost any shade.
48. I need more friends in this area.
49. I am really struggling with the area of home school versus public school.
50. I am so glad MB is my son, silliness and all, and that he is a fighter and is so brave.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

UPDATE on the "H" bomb

Well, he did it again last night. He got mad and tired (no nap again) and started yelling that he hates me. But, (thank you Candy Cane...hehehe) I decided to use a different approach to the situation. Last night I picked his little butt up and made him change for bed (him yelling the whole time, me holding on to his shirt and pulling him back toward me when he decided he would run away and yell from the hallway) and tossed his little bottom on his bed, knelt down next to him, hugged him, prayed with him (him yelling the whole time) and kissed him again and told him every time he screamed I hate you at me that I did not care, I still loved him. After about 2 minutes of this, I got up and left his room...him still screaming at me. I turned on his Vivaldi, turned off his light and turned on the hall light (he likes to have it on when he goes to bed. Within in 2 minutes, it may have actually been less) MB was sound asleep. SOUND ASLEEP.

I sighed in relief and went about my night time chores.

This morning MB wakes up all hugs and giggles and tells me he loves me, over and over and over. Then he hugs me again and tells me..."mommy. I thought about last night. I was a bad boy, but you said you loved me. We prayed. I was a bad boy. I love you mommy".

I gave him our usual morning squeeze and told him that sometimes I don't like his behavior but I will ALWAYS love him.

Wow...what a morning...in a good way.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

A poem for you written by me.

As a child I saw a bird.
It's wings were fresh and new,
it's desire, flight.
but it lay in the nest shaking,
too young to fly.

I saw the bird a second time.
A little older and wise in my own eyes.
It lay in the nest trembling
afraid to fly.

I saw the bird a final time
Wisdom clasping hands with age.
The bird that had never flown
simply died that way.

-end.

I hear you asking why here and why now? See my post about NOT making my little toy goal and that DH LET me buy toys for Christmas and some to sell (have a little stock on hand) but I am not sure I got the order in on time. I have so many dreams i'm afraid to shoot for right now (not toy related in the least) and I'm trying to work up the courage to try to fly. So I am publically reminding myself that I have got to try.

Nine 2 year olds

Before you think that this is a new addition to the partridge in a pear tree song, nope, I'm a preschool worker/volunteer at church and today, I had 9 2-year-olds, and a 10 year old helper and my 4 year old son masquerading as a helper. I think I need my head examined! LOL...

Let me back up. I attend (and am a member of) a medium sized church (Non traditional Baptist, if you KNOW me you KNOW how funny a mix THAT in itself is). This church obviously has an issue with volunteers, or lack there of. I do not work regularly in the nursery because MB gets sick a lot and I would hate to be the one who calls in every week b/c they can't make it for a sick kid. Since I could not totally commit, I am a sub. I get called literally every week to sub for either Sunday School (which I by no means consider myself a gifted teacher) or a service sub. Usually I say yes, like today.

I got there only to discover that the nursery thinks that if I am working they can naturally assume my DH is coming to help too. Ummmm...never agreed on that, I can not speak for my DH where and what he will do. Normally, he will stay with me (and we keep all the boys in there as helpers, age 4, 10 and 12 so it's pretty helpful...sort of) but today we had one of the older kiddos not feeling well, so it was me and the 4 and 10 year olds.

with 9, NINE, 2 year olds.

Ironically, this was not a problem. I know most of the kids from usually being placed in the "creepers/1's" room but they have all graduated to a bigger (thank you GOD) room with more toys and tables. WE colored. WE read books. WE picked up toys that were tossed out of the room. WE replaced the baby gate at the door every time somebody would pull it down.

But then the seventh level of Hades opened 5 minutes before service ends. I swear I am not lying when I say every child either had a potty accident, pooped or started screaming for their mom. I got a cup of apple juice spilled down my shirt and had one kid running about in his Nemo underwear because he dropped his shorts in the toilet while I was tending to the other kids.

Then my angel came in from the 3 year old room (where they had 3 kids and 2 workers) and changed poopies for me while I rocked the screamer.

I was never so happy to see parents as I was at that moment.

I'm home now and it's funny.....now.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

SELLING TOYS

Nope. Didn't make my goal. Not even close. I did suggest to DH that I spend the $200 shortfall on toys I thought I could sell to get the money back he broke out in a fit of laughter.

So, no. I did not earn my kit and have to pay for it myself. I have to admit I'm feeling like a bit of a failure today.

Should I really be selling these toys? Is it worth it? (sigh) I think I will hang on through Christmas to see if it picks up.

Pet Peeves

Has somebody ever done something so annoying that it became a pet peeve for EVERYBODY else who would wonder into that territory? I consider myself (and maybe wrongly so) a very open minded individual (but not TOO open minded, LOL) and allow people their little odd/quirky ways because really, that is the spice of our life.

I have, however, found somebody's spice to be making me nuts. You all know by now that I am a medical transcriptionist that works from home. Not the best job in the world (read as
'can be as boring as a 5 hour lecture on a grain of sand') but it lets me stay home with MB and bring in some income. However, I will NEVER understand why docs feel it is okay to eat in my ears. This is gross. I think one today is actually chewing gum while with a patient. How do I know the patient is there? Well, he keeps talking to the patient while his is dictating ( something he does regularly) and then smacking his gum in my ears.

HOW HORRIBLY UNPROFESSIONAL!!!! to top it off, it is a new patient because this is a "thank you for your referral" letter.

I had one doc that like to eat crunchy things in my ears. I guess it grosses me out because 1)I'm typing at 6 in the morning and the last thing I want to hear first thing in the morning is somebody eating, chewing, belching or releasing gas directly in my ears. 2) It's gross. I have occasionally eaten while on the phone, but I know it is rude and apologize and STOP when I realize what I am doing.

I do understand that life is fast paced and sometimes it is necessary to multi-task, but if you are going to EAT while DICTATING Patient notes, dear physicians, please please please do not SMACK and CHOMP directly into the dictaphone. Pretend your wife/husband or MOTHER is listening to the conversation, would he/she be pleased.

I think not.

That is my complaint for the day.

I now return me to my regularly scheduled duties of typing for said chomper doc.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

To spank or not to Spank......

Parenting presents new challenges to me all the time, but lately I am struck and stuck on discipline.

I tried the "hey I was hit a lot and hard as a kid and will NEVER do that to my child" approach. But now we present Mr. Sassy Pants.

So we tried the naughty rug. works sometimes (thanks The Nanny).

We tried time out, yeah, YOU try putting a hyper boy in a chair for 5 minutes.

I have spanked, I DO NOT and WILL NOT ever BEAT my child. That is no way to treat a human being (and why I struggle with the whole spanking thing in general).

So, any parenting tips on how to effectively discipline? I know consistency is important and I try to be persistent, and am for the most part, but man there is a LOT of whining and sassing at my house lately.

Help.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

So, how DOES one sell $300 in toys in 2 days???

I realized today that I have 2 days, yes, TWO days to sell $300 in Discovery Toys to meet the expected/projected goal when I started (and earn my kit). I sure wish 2 parties had not been cancelled.

Anybody want to buy a toy?

They're nice toys, educational toys....well made...toys......yeah.

I wonder if I can do this?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Lizards, little boys and the "h" bomb.

The unbelievable happened today, and I have to say, only in my house. I was working at my computer, Sam was falling asleep in his Armadillo Shell (read as couch cushions over his head as he lays on the springs of the couch) and V was resting in the back bedroom. It was quiet, really, for a moment, quiet in my house. Then I saw it, out of the corner of my eye. I thought to myself, "great another mouse in the house". Tennessee is hot and anything with any sense is trying to get into a cooler building. But no, it was not a mouse, couldn't be that simple in my house...it was a lizard. I am so not kidding. It's cute, about 10 inches long tip to tail and it's a fast sucker. It got into the laundry room and under the washer before I could get it. I saw it again later and tried to catch it again but it got behind the pantry. So now I have a lizard in my house.

Back to armadillo boy....he decided not to take a nap today and was vile by 6:30, simply unruly. He did not get his way and screamed ...yes, my innocent beloved angel SCREAMED at me " I hate you. you go away to a meeting out of the house". OUCH. So I did the mommy thing and sent his little throbbing butt (yep, I spanked for that) to bed without supper. Well, I rethought that and he came out and had supper, bribing him to eat with $2 if he would clean his plate ( an easy win for us, if you have a 4 year old, you know what I mean). Well he decides I need to feed him (something I am not proud of but have done for too long) and he pitches a fit again when I tell him no that he is big enough to feed himself. SO the Hate you bomb drops again and again, it's off to bed. He comes out about 30 minutes later (I slipped into his room and dropped a Goodnights pull up on him) freaked out by the pull up and hungry, so I let him have a peanut butter sandwich. He thinks he's gonna get the $2 for that...um nope, that ship has already sailed big guy... and then we have a quiet discussion full of tears about how we don't tell mommy we hate her and wishing she is gone is not a good thing. What if I really left.

So Hubby and I have a loosely devised plan that next time MB has his "hate you" melt down...Mommy is leaving, then and there. DH asks we where I'm going. LOL...wouldn't you like to know. I'm just gonna go for a while to remind MB that mommy here is really a good thing.

Oh...the power of words. It actually hurt (and ticked me off ) that he would say that.

Monday, August 08, 2005

I probably need to change the name of my Blog

It seems I don't post about the guys at all, but me. LOL...I guess this is the only place I can be totally egocentric.

I'm happy today because it seems that we have somehow rung a big bell in the military. A General, yes, you read that right, GENERAL contacted the Family readiness Group in Wisconsin and asked what in the world is going on with our friend V and why is her soldier not home. Hehehee. I have a feeling we caused a little stir somewhere kicking in the water as we have and threatening to go to the media. V talked to the gal at the FRG in Wisconsin and she is reporting back to the General who our stick-in-the-sand is. I am so hopeful this means her J will be coming home soon.

I, honestly, will be sort of sad when he does. It is kind of nice having some estrogen in the house with me and somebody to take care of. I guess I'm sick that way, I need to be taking care of someone who appreciates it, and I know she does (though she probably thinks I'm nutso too).

We had all the boys this weekend so the house is full and about making ME crazy, so I know she's at her wits end too, but the brood goes back to their mom tomorrow and things will calm down to the usual amount of craziness. (And V can attest to anybody who wants to know, it's pretty crazy around here ALWAYS, but at least mutt and jeff will be out of the living room (V's bedroom I'm afraid). It's funny how boys don't think about a person's feelings, they run into the living room, turn on the TV, start the computer up and start yammering at V. The poor girl gets blindsided. I think she and J wanted a boy, but she may be praying when they finally do get pregnant that it will be a girl. LOL. I totally understand V, I totally understand, but I have to admit, I'm a mom of boys from the get go.

Today, pray with us that this is not just another nuisance but real help from the FRG and the General. I could kiss his stars!

Friday, August 05, 2005

Volunteering and MOPS

MOPS, for those who do not know, is Mothers Of Preschoolers International, an organization I Love, support and meetings I attend. Last year was actually the first year I attended for real, I "checked them out" for 2 meetings the year before. I LOVE it. Seriously. I felt relief as I walked in a room with over 40 women with kiddos age 0 to 5. I almost cried. I felt like I was the only mom in Middle Tennessee and it was awful. So I reveled in it.

Now, I think I need my head examined. LOL. They asked me (and I was flattered and honestly afraid) to be in charge of the kids program next year (read that as a school year, which means next month is the first meeting). It's called MOPPETs and it requires a LOT of work, work I am not sure I am ready for.

To date, I have 1 volunteer and NO teachers. I think we may be doing the 1 room school house thing and put all the kids in the hall for a movie.

I'm trying not to panic, but with my plate already overflowing I don't know HOW I'm supposed to find volunteers. NOBODY in the Volunteer state wants to help and I'm at my wits end. We are having a meeting tonight about paying the teachers I don't have at this point. It's my hope we will pay them so I can get somebody to help me.

What have I gotten myself into? *sigh*

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

HOUSTON, we have a BATHROOM FLOOR, almost.

hahahaa, I got you didn't I. Well the floor, while not technically done, is in and we can almost allow splashing in the tub again (and MB NEEDS a bath let me tell ya, I didn't think it was possible to have a 4 year old smell so badly. ROFLOL).

DH and I laid the tile last weekend and finished it up before our friend came to stay. The 2nd day she was here and "nagged" him about the bathroom sink, I got my sink back. We still need to put down the quarter round trim (apparently I'm painting it, DH is placing it) and seal the seam at the tub.

Then, my friends, after over a month, I will have my bathroom back!! DO you HEAR the angels singing??? I can finally brush my teeth in the bathroom where they should be brushed.

Hey, an added bonus, MB is now potty trained and OUT of diapers. He does wear a pull up for nap and bedtime but we are in our little Spongebob underwear. How wrong is it to think your kid is adorable in underwear. SOoooo happy to be DONE with Huggies. Time to move on to tidy whiteys or boxers...the choice is MB's. Oh, and he learned how to pee standing up.

If I have to hear Mommy, you stand to pee once more I'm gonna split a gut.