Friday, September 21, 2007

Do you ever really get over stuff?

I am wondering lately if you ever really get over things you missed. Let me know what you think. What do I mean? Well, I hate going to baby showers. Never was very fond of them, but for some reason I really hate them now. It is probably because I feel cheated out of mine when I had MB. I was in the hospital for 6 weeks before he was born and the baby shower that had been planned by the girls at work was just "cancelled". Nothing. Just not done. I would have given anything for them to have come to the hospital and had it there.

A girl at church just had her baby at 27 weeks due to toxoplasmosis. The baby is amazing! About 1 and 1/2 pounds and breathing on her own on room air. I tell you what, she is a miracle. Mom is better. The church is planning a baby shower for her. The whole situation throws me back to my NICU experience with MB and stresses me out. I will attend her shower. I want to make sure her baby is welcomed.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter. The nurses in the hospital where MB was born were so sweet. They brought in all of their old baby clothes for MB so he had something. And another sweet friend brought me a diaper bag and rattles and bibs. I'm thankful, but still find it hard to go to baby showers.

Then there is feeding babies. I LOVE and long to feed babies. MB did not eat. NOPE. I think he was 2 or maybe 2 1/2 before he ate and he never ate baby cereal or baby food. I blended up adult food. I missed the whole pleasure of feeding your baby. Maybe that is why I still shovel it in for him when he won't eat. LOL.
This was brought up by looking at lovely pictures of a sweet baby of a friend of mine who was HAPPILY eating baby food. I realized "I want to feed a baby". I'm rather pathetic, so forgive me and let me feed your kid ok.

Then last night I watched Fried Green Tomatoes while DH was out at a hockey game on his birthday and cried like a fool. I realize again how much I miss my mom. How I can't just call her and say "hey mom. MB has a loose tooth, FINALLY, but his adult tooth is coming in behind it instead of under it. Didn't my front tooth do that? Do I need to take him to the dentist?" I can't ask dad. I love dad, but he is rather clueless to all that happened to us as kids.

So I"m full of "Wow I gotta get over this stuff" today. Any ideas how one gets over what one lost or missed? I want to live a life of no regrets.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

I am 6...going on 16

My sweet MB has gone from 6 straight to the teens.

We were shopping with my sister yesterday (while DH painted the house ;) ) I have been talking about getting MB a digital watch. He really loves watches and I think he gets teased a little that his medic alert bracelet is not a watch.

Anyway, I was looking for a digital watch but not finding them. I told MB we would go to WalMart and look, I was sure I could find (a cheap one) one there. He had a meltdown. Then my sister saw a watch in a different spot. We went to look with MB whining behind us. Then we didn't see any digital again so we walked off, MB huffing along with us.

Then I saw watches. I started to head toward them and called MB to come on. He started huffing and whining and stomping toward the display. I showed him the watch and then told him because of his rotten attitude he was not getting one (maybe Santa will be nicer than mommy). So we went and paid for the jeans (BTW, JC Penny has Arizona jeans buy one get one for $1) and other things my sister got and left.

As we are leaving the store MV says, in TOTAL seriousness:

"but mom, all the other kids are gonna tease me because I don't have a watch!!!"

ROFLOL... I looked at him, looked at my sister, then we both (my sister and I) started cracking up!! That was such a beautiful attempt at parental manipulation that I thought about rewarding that WITH the watch. OMG...he's 6...not 16. What in the WORLD am I gonna get at 16?? it comes. Good thing my sense of humor is still intact.