Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Prisoner in my own home

I don't know what it is about working from home, but I'm feeling a bit "Trapped". I have days when I don't even leave the house...don't ever make it out of the pajamas I started working in and am thankful I have a few brain cells left at the end of the day to rub together.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful I can work from home and have a fairly flexible schedule (sort of) . I get to stay home and help the idot box raise my son. I am the first to admit he watches WAY too much television while I'm working. I theorize that because it is all educational (and a few Disney programs and Spongebob) that it is okay. He just turned 4 and can read 3 letter words, so I must be doing SOMETHING right. I watched FAR too much television as a kid and it did not kill me either, so I am refusing to beat myself up too much about that.

The thing that really bothers me though is that my day starts at 5:30 in the morning; up, give monkey boy is medicine, start the coffee, read my devotion and start work by 6 am. Then I fight with my husband to get him up and off to work (while I'm already working, generally in my jammies). I am scheduled to work from 6 a to 10 a and have a million interruptions from monkey boy, some requiring a little time some a lot, and then have from 10 a to 2 p to do my "thang" whatever that may be for that with monkey boy, get his meds to him, run doctor appointments as necessary, clean my pig stye of a house, grocery shopping, wash the dishes, fold the laundry piling up in the tiny laundry room (hey, at least it's clean...usually) run MB to the library or playdate or MOPS or whatever else is happening, start dinner and, usually, collapse for about a 20 to 30 minute rest (We'll talk more about my obvious horizontal alarm in another post). Then it's back to the grind till 6 pm. Cook dinner, clean up from dinner, clean up after MB and get him ready for bed. Then it's time to entertain DH, usually we just watch TV for an hour or so...before you know it, the Tick (see earlier post) is over, it's 10:30 and I'm about dead to the world.

I have the same 24 hours in a day, why is it I can not get anything done? I feel like I live in the whirlwind and reap the mess from it. I look to cut stuff out, but really, what? It is all daily living stuff. I think I need a clone. She could go out and do all the fun stuff I really miss like a lazy cup of coffee, playing cards with a friend, window shopping (another post on this sometime too. I HATE spending money, so shopping is a chore), sleeping past 10 long has it been.

I really need a vacation...anybody have a destination for me? I think my job is my biggest obstacle in my day. LOL. I'm looking for some pardon papers soon.

Friday, June 24, 2005

The Tick

I am no fan of insect life form, well, maybe from a scientific point of view there is interest, but I digress from my point. Have you ever seen the cartoon The Tick. Tell you what, he is my favorite super hero. His only "super power" is that he is uncrushable...just like a real tick. You know the evil creatures that climbs aboard when you are least expecting it and digs in for a sip of your gooey red life juice. He's as dumb as they come, the cartoon is totally inaine, but I LOVE IT.

I watched it back in like 94 when it first came out and loved it then and was excited to find it again a few weeks ago (thank you Getix and Disney...LOL).

My husband does not understand my obsession with the Tick. I don't understand it either except that maybe it is the perfect thing for me to "shut down" with at the end of the day. Maybe he makes me feel a little more "super" because I'm so weary with were I am at right now and he reminds me that even the daily boring tasks, when done with the gusto of the Tick, are not so bland or ordinary.

So I hereby brand myself the Tick of this household. I shall tenaciously hold on to the concept of enthusiastically performing all of the mundane tasks (wiping butts and noses, doing the 8th load of peed in underwear as we potty train, cooking dinner knowing I will get the whine of "chicken again" and typing for docs till my fingers fall off) with GUSTO. I AM THE TICK...or at least the momma. Or maybe I've just been up too long today and I'm really ready for bed...ah, mind numbing cartoon take me away.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

For love of the Monkey Boy

I just became a salesperson, well, actually, I've always been a sales person, but now I'm selling some of the best educational toys in the country. It's an odd thing. I am not a person who likes to get up in front of a group of people and talk even though I worked in radio for 18 years. Yeah, millions heard me, but nobody was looking back at me other than the jock in the booth across from me in the AM studio or production room. I am not a piece of eye candy by any means, but I am loved by a Monkeyboy and his daddy.

I had my first toy party the other night and survived. No kids at the party because they add confusion. You need to know that my friends call me the queen of the 6 sick scenerios because I can tell you the sickest outcomes of any situation at the flip of a coin (or in our case over a game of gin rummy). I don't know, maybe that will help me in other things I want to do someday, but I am thankful none of my sick scenerios played out at the party...I did not puke, pass out, or hyperventilate (though I thought at one point I might) and the people there were people I knew.

Amazingly enough, everybody brought toys. Did they buy because I am a good sales person? Because they felt sorry for my bigger than life self trying not to do math poorly and overcharge somebody? Because they like me? I don't know, but they bought toys...and I felt good, and my hostess had a good time.

Maybe I can do this after all. People ask why I'm doing this on top of my full time job and my job as wife and mother....well, honestly, I do it to get out of the house. I love my son more than life itself, but about the time you hear "Momma" for the 80th time in 30 mintues you really need to escape....any way you can. I also woke up to the fact that unless we had to go to the store Monkeyboy and I could be in the house for 3 to 4 days at a time without ever stepping foot outside (well, I do throw him out ocassionally to get some sunshine, but I'm a vampire when it comes to the sun and this dang burn Tennessee heat (I'm a yankee, give me snow!!!).

It was nice to get out, even if only for 2 hours. I had contat with grown ups, daddy got to watch MB (monkeyboy) and I escaped, if only for a short break.

The best part though was coming home. MB should have been sound asleep but he claims he could not sleep becuase I was not home. He ran up, kissed me and said "Momma, I missed you so much. I am glad you came home". For that I will leave more often. It's nice to be missed. You know what...I missed him too. It's all for the love of the Monkeyboy.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

I sure never thought I would do it, but I have enjoyed too many blogs to not jump in and share my thoughts on being a work from home mom of 1 high needs child and a step-mom to 2 boys, a wife, a woman and just plain old nuts. I guess I needed somewhere to put it all down, and this is it. If you read congrats. Leave messages as you will. Thanks for taking a peek.

That's it for now while I stumble through how all of this works.

Enjoy whats to come...laugh and cry with me will ya!