Saturday, May 24, 2008

Happy Birthday Miracle Boy!!

His birthday is today and he's wound UP. He came in our bedroom at 6am and said HI mommy as he climbed up on me. I hugged him tight and said Happy Birthday baby. Can you believe he said "I knew you'd remeber!" LOL...this kid cracks me up.

We dressed his black cat Webkinz in a Webkinz tuxedo and put it on the laptop in the kitchen along with a scrolling screen saver that says "Happy 7th birthday MB!!!" and it looked like the toy cat did it. hehehehe.

His transformers room is almost ready. The bedding is in the dryer right now. His cake looks AWESOME. I paid a guy at work to make a transformers logo cake for me. I like to pretend I'm artistic, but I know I am not. LOL.

we have 6 scheduled to show for the party, 4 boys and 2 girls, 3 of the boys are spending the night. We will play with the splash rocket water sprinkler and have a "transformers" battle for the all spark in the back yard. We will have cake and ice cream with "transforming" chocolate shell (hehehe i'm stretching it for all I got!)

We got MB the bedroom and clothes for his Webkinz along with a lunch box for his Nintendo DS and skin for Nintendogs.

His brothers' got him a bumblebee transformer and a computer game.

My sister got him the blanket and sheets for his bed and extra transformer peel off stickers for his walls.

My little sister sent him a Walmart card for $25

oh. We also got him Veggie Tales Dance Dance Dance, but it's not here yet.

Party one over today.

Party two tomorrow for Biggest Brother's 15 (OMG....15!!!!) birthday. He got the LOTR battle for middle earth xbox 360 game and steaks for dinner.

busy day, gotta finish cleaning so the kids can mess it all up.

Before I go, I have to give thanks to God. 7 years of a wonderful boy when the doctors all said he would not make it six weeks. Thank you for giving me an amazing child and a long time to play with him and watch him grow into a mighty man of God.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Where we are at today

Here is the status update for those with the playing cards:

I do not have cancer. At least not that we know of. That is one thing they will check the whole thyroid for when they take it out on 6/6.

I am nervous. But not scared. The unknown is always a little intimidating, but I know who holds my future and the future of all of those I love and care for. So I'm good. By NO MEANS do I want to leave this planet and move "onward and upward", but God is really in control here.

I am exhausted. I ate lunch today and was SURE my sugar had to be in the 200+ range because I could not keep my eyes open. Yeah, it was 114, perfect for after eating. So the thyroid thing is really really really exhausting lately. I can just fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

My DH has been wonderful. Daddy's house of tacos cooked dinner last night and even cleaned up, sans doing the dishes, but he did the rest. He's a good guy.

MB's 7th birthday party is Saturday. I'm crazy enough to be having a pizza party/sleepover for the boys. Yeah. SOmebody examine my head. He's standing over my shoulder so I can't tell you all the fun stuff we have planned. Hehehehe.
We have done his room in Transformers, auntie C brought him sheets and a bedspread to match. We got him an Optimus Prime Fat Head type thing, basically a 40" wall decoration that you can peel off when it's time to rearrange the room or move on to older decorations.

So, that concludes this episode of "were we are today". Tune in soon for updates.

BTW, if you are from the May Mommy board, and you want me back, please send me an invite!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Ok, I see daylight, but we are not out of the woods yet

Well, I went to see the surgeon today. I have never met such a gracious man. He sat and LISTENED to me....seriously, everything and anything I said, he listened to me. He listened to me drone on about my kids, my husband, my job, etc. He listed to my medical history. He listened to my questions about the surgery. He answered my questions about the surgery.

They will take the right lobe of my thyroid and leave a small portion of the left to help create less trauma for the parathyroid system. There are risks. Vocal cord nerve damage/paralysis, parathyroid damage and the risk that there is still cancer here and we just missed it with the biopsy.

The surgery is coming up. I will let you in when I know more.

Life is an adventure, good thing I know the author!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

God ponderings

Today is a melencholy day. I had to get a steroid shot (long story short, I got the virus from Hades and it's wreaking havoc on my body) so I'm jumpy and moody all at the same time. Sorry hunny.

Anyway, I really really feel the need for God today in my day, life and moment. I cracked open the Word and was reminded of Jesus feeding the 5,000 and then telling the disciples to "quickly get away" while he dispersed the crowds. Wow. That would be like the biggest rock star saying to his/her band "run get in the bus, I'll handle the crowd." Some manager just lost his job. LOL. Anyway, Jesus protected his stunned and weary disciples by ushering them out to "protection" while he handled the pressing crowd who had been there all day. Much to the disciples dismay, however, when they tried to cross the water, the storm kicked up and they were rowing INTO the wind. Have you ever tried to do something that was seemingly IMPOSSIBLE? What on earth are you going to do about the wind. And what about the boat? Those things move with wind....and not in comforting ways (if you understand my green gills point). Not to mention the winds were pretty bad and the boat was probably staring to fall apart, maybe? The disciples were probaby mad and scared and bitter that Jesus was not there suffering with them. The Word tells us that Jesus realized the disciples could not cross for the wind and after a few hours went out across the water to them. The version I read said it was between 3 and 6am when Jesus went out to them.

How long were they on the waves? How scared were they? How hopeless did they feel??

They saw Jesus on the water and thought He was a ghost and became quite AFRAID. Well, yeah! Jesus was walking on the water. I know if my neighbor, friend, co-worker, relative, etc, came walking across water that was not frozen solid I'd freak too. But the Word went on to say "Jesus meant to walk PAST them". Why?
Still pondering that one.

but when they freaked, Jesus stopped, addressed them and calmed the waves.


Right now, no matter what is going on in life, my life or yours, please focus on that God waited, God walked and God stopped to help. He was never far off. He saw the disciples struggle in the boat. He saw the fear when they saw him on the water. He calmed the waves.

NO matter HOW far off God is perceived to be, He is not. He sees, He moves, He calms.

Monday, May 05, 2008

and the answer is.....

Thank GOD!!!

The nodules are benign. The right lobe is still huge, so they are trying to shrink it with more levothyroxine. I have read a bunch of stuff on the internet that says that does not work, but I go back in 3 months for another ultrasound. If it is still huge we will look at removing the right lobe.


thank you for your love and support.

I swear, if I were not at work I'd be bawling like a baby!

So I had this dream the other night.

I had a dream. In this dream, the woman who did my ultrasounds on the thyroid was the one who told me the situation.

She said, "Well, there were 4 larger nodules. We biopsied one on the left and one on the right." Then, in my dream, she went on to say "The left one is fine, but the right one is a dirty little lump". ROFLMAO....does that mean the right one is just bigger or that it's the nasty C word? Or does it mean I have really weird dreams! Somehow, I think it was because I got back on the internet on Saturday night and looked up EXACTLY, according to medical school books, your thyroid does. They pretty much show things bluntly to med students you know. So I read all the stuff your thyroid does and that if there are multiple nodules it is less likely to be cancerous. I also read that the sudden increas in the size of the right nodule along with the pressure on my trachea means it could be cancer.

So basically, I'm still poorly waiting on the answer from the biopsy.

I have to tell you the other thing that kind of freaks me out is that in a small percentage of instances of FNA (Fine Needle Aspiration) they don't get a good enough sample and have to re-do the biopsy. I think this freaks me out more than anything. I hope to never have to do that again. It hurt a LOT more than I expected. It still hurts when I cough, yawn or sneeze hard.

Maybe we will get answers today. Dad comes tomorrow and we are trying to keep him out of the loop, at least until there is something definative.

and now for something completely different.....

My DH and MB planted some raspberry bushes for me yesterday for my Mother's day gift. How cool is that. I can't wait till we get some yummy fresh fruit without paying $5.25 for a 1/2 pint.

Friday, May 02, 2008

I'm kinda glad nobody is really reading this right now

It means I can be honest.

I am a poor waiter. I don't mean waiting tables, I mean waiting. I could not wait to find out the gender of my child, so the first opportunity I had I found out he was a boy. I could not wait to get out of high school, so I graduated early. I wanted to hurry up and go to college, so I technically dropped out of high school early (with permssion since I was passing everything with an A) to go to college early. You see a pattern here?

I hate waiting.

This whole "waiting for good or bad news" is making me nuts. I'm already exhausted, have a sinus infection on top of whatever this thyroid mess is, and really just want to sleep. I would not say I am depressed, because honestly, I am not. I am just tired...tired and I hate waiting.

I wish I would get the call, email, whatever NOW so I don't have to wait anymore.

I am a take action kind of person. I want to know if I have to be ready to fight or just simply ready to have the darn thing cut out so it stops choking me.

I just want to know. NOW.

Thanks for waiting with me if you really are here reading this.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Wow it's been a long time, how things change

I can't believe I have not been here since Christmas. Well, yes I can. We have been working on moving. Selling a house in a crisis market and finding one we can afford. I'm happy to say that these aspects are taken care of. We now have gone from a 1048 sq foot house to a monster of a 2200+ unfinshed basement house. We got a decent deal, but it's a LOT More money, and for somebody who is always stressed about money, that is not a good thing.

We are happily and slowly trying to unpack.

My dad is coming for a visit next week to see our new house. He is "trial visiting" to see if he could live with us. Ha. This ought to be fun. He really does need to get out of Texas though. He is entirely too far away if and when he needs help. It sucks that he is so far away.

The other thing I am a bit reluctant to note less my father actually find my blog. I am in the midst of a "pseudo medical crisis". It appears I have some nodes on my thyroid that are pretty big. I had a biopsy yesterday. That was most uncomfortable. Basically, 2 needles in each lobe to "numb" and then 5 passes with a needle into each suspect nodule to test for the Big C, for a total of 14 sticks in my neck. Yeah. You never realize how much you use your neck muscles when you bend over, sleep, turn your head, etc. until it feels like somebody has punched through your neck. I'm exhausted and in pain basically. The bad part is we will not know for another few days if it's bad or not so bad news. The not so bad is that they are taking the thyroid out anyway because it is so big and swollen and pressing on my trachea. We won't talk about the bad. I really don't think it is anyway.

MB turns 7 this month. He wants a pizza party/sleepover. I have had to explain over and over that the girls can come for pizza and cake, but not for sleepover. No mixed sleepovers...not even at 7.

We also have adopted a golden retreiver named, Goldie. LOL. She's a mess, but at least she is good to MB and does not pee in the house. She sleeps contentedly by DH's bedside. LOL. He hates that. We are also house sitting a friend's bird dog while she looks for a house. She was buying/selling the same time we were and her deal fell through, so she's rather homeless (we offered to let her live here, but she's too proud) but her dog has a big yard to run in now.

I forgot to mention that. We live on a busy street now, but we have a HUGE back yard. I'm getting berry bushes for Mother's day!

Sorry it's been so long. I will be a better blogger and update more frequently. Check in as we walk through the Valley of the Shadow together.