Struggle

Not sure I'm fighting with an angel, but I can guarantee you the devil's little dirty paws are in here too, pointing, judging, accusing.

I have become acutely aware of how dark my little heart is. I have become acutely aware of how horrible that makes me feel. I am aware of God's magnificant grace and mercy.

I have also become acutely aware of how much I need some changes in my life, both professionally, personally and spiritually; as a mother and a wife; as a churchgoer and Christian.

My, the wickedness of man's heart! I am thankful for my redeemer.

Do you ever really get over stuff?

I am wondering lately if you ever really get over things you missed. Let me know what you think. What do I mean? Well, I hate going to baby showers. Never was very fond of them, but for some reason I really hate them now. It is probably because I feel cheated out of mine when I had MB. I was in the hospital for 6 weeks before he was born and the baby shower that had been planned by the girls at work was just "cancelled". Nothing. Just not done. I would have given anything for them to have come to the hospital and had it there.

A girl at church just had her baby at 27 weeks due to toxoplasmosis. The baby is amazing! About 1 and 1/2 pounds and breathing on her own on room air. I tell you what, she is a miracle. Mom is better. The church is planning a baby shower for her. The whole situation throws me back to my NICU experience with MB and stresses me out. I will attend her shower. I want to make sure her baby is welcomed.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter. The nurses in the hospital where MB was born were so sweet. They brought in all of their old baby clothes for MB so he had something. And another sweet friend brought me a diaper bag and rattles and bibs. I'm thankful, but still find it hard to go to baby showers.

Then there is feeding babies. I LOVE and long to feed babies. MB did not eat. NOPE. I think he was 2 or maybe 2 1/2 before he ate and he never ate baby cereal or baby food. I blended up adult food. I missed the whole pleasure of feeding your baby. Maybe that is why I still shovel it in for him when he won't eat. LOL.
This was brought up by looking at lovely pictures of a sweet baby of a friend of mine who was HAPPILY eating baby food. I realized "I want to feed a baby". I'm rather pathetic, so forgive me and let me feed your kid ok.

Then last night I watched Fried Green Tomatoes while DH was out at a hockey game on his birthday and cried like a fool. I realize again how much I miss my mom. How I can't just call her and say "hey mom. MB has a loose tooth, FINALLY, but his adult tooth is coming in behind it instead of under it. Didn't my front tooth do that? Do I need to take him to the dentist?" I can't ask dad. I love dad, but he is rather clueless to all that happened to us as kids.

So I"m full of "Wow I gotta get over this stuff" today. Any ideas how one gets over what one lost or missed? I want to live a life of no regrets.

I am 6...going on 16

My sweet MB has gone from 6 straight to the teens.

We were shopping with my sister yesterday (while DH painted the house ;) ) I have been talking about getting MB a digital watch. He really loves watches and I think he gets teased a little that his medic alert bracelet is not a watch.

Anyway, I was looking for a digital watch but not finding them. I told MB we would go to WalMart and look, I was sure I could find (a cheap one) one there. He had a meltdown. Then my sister saw a watch in a different spot. We went to look with MB whining behind us. Then we didn't see any digital again so we walked off, MB huffing along with us.

Then I saw them...digital watches. I started to head toward them and called MB to come on. He started huffing and whining and stomping toward the display. I showed him the watch and then told him because of his rotten attitude he was not getting one (maybe Santa will be nicer than mommy). So we went and paid for the jeans (BTW, JC Penny has Arizona jeans buy one get one for $1) and other things my sister got and left.

As we are leaving the store MV says, in TOTAL seriousness:

"but mom, all the other kids are gonna tease me because I don't have a watch!!!"

ROFLOL... I looked at him, looked at my sister, then we both (my sister and I) started cracking up!! That was such a beautiful attempt at parental manipulation that I thought about rewarding that WITH the watch. OMG...he's 6...not 16. What in the WORLD am I gonna get at 16??

So...here it comes. Good thing my sense of humor is still intact.

I can't believe I let this anniversary pass uncelebrated!

MB is FIVE years post kidney transplant and doing great!!!! On August 8, 2002, my baby boy and my husband went away from me for over 12 hours of surgery.

My husband GAVE freely of himself. He gave MB a kidney.

They are my heros!

God, you amaze me every day I get to see MB's smiling face. I love him so much and am so thankful that you not only spared him death, but provided a parent with health and the right blood type to give him the precious gift of life.

You created him
I carried him
Daddy saved his life
Lord, you saved his soul.

How much better can it get than that!!

Happy Kidney Transplant Anniversary!!!! And many many many (at least 70) more!!

Flying leap

I sure wish that was a totally spritual thing. Taking a flying leap of faith and stepping out to __________ (fill in the blank with appropriate spiritual activity).

But not me. Nope. When I take a flying leap, it's literal, unfortunately.

This morning started out like any other. Up at 5:30, clean the puppy pen so the house does not REEK, feed the puppies (so they can mess it all up again), get MB up and ready for school, put the load of laundry I forgot about from the washer to the dryer, find clothes, make lunches, take a shower. Opps. forgot make the coffee.
Try to be sure I give MB his meds, or daddy knows which ones to give and gives them, get dressed, run out the door scanning for ID badge, purse, keys, cell phone and charger (as I have a newly found bad habit of forgetting to charge my phone at night).

Finally, run out the door. Here's where the leap comes in...well, the trip and fall into the rock driveway. Not paved. Those of you who have been here know. Not a pleasent surface to land on your face on.

In the rush to get MB to school on time, DH and I had a loud discussion, he stormed off to the van with MB while I finshed up getting supper started in the crock pot, whined that I'm under appreciated and spilled my coffee. OK, God, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be mad that he sleeps 30 to 45 minutes longer than I get to. It's my own choice. I don't like being crazy in the morning. Ok. I will apologize when I get to the VAAAaaaaaaaaan *KABLAM*

That, good friend, is the sound of me hitting the rocks. Did you hear it where you are?? DH comes running from the van. Honestly, I was bit stunned. I could not get up at first. Legs didn't want to move. Shoe (which caused the whole trip) was unbuckled. I am now covered in rock dust and pain. Hot seering pain. Yeah baby, wear that one to work for a rugged, hard working appearance.

With much assistance from DH I get up and hobble back into the house to clean up while he runs MB to school (Late on his 2nd full day because of me, thankyouverymuch). I get in the house and assess that I have no other clean work pants. Choice.....skirt or brush the dust off. Since I didn't tear the pants or bleed through them...they stay on. The shirt, tears mixed with dust = mud. Gotta change the shirt.

Well, YEAH I cried. Dude I was in P A I N. If you know me, it's bad to make me cry. I clean up, wash away the blood and clean up my pride as DH comes back for me and we go to work.

I told him in the car this is our reward for fighting in the morning. He was mad,I was mad, God made us realize we could REALLY be late or really hurt. Thankfully, nothing broken, other than pride. Time is nothing. People are everything.

Maybe I will start my mad morning dash at 5am instead of 5:30 while the puppies are here for 2 more weeks.

Maybe the flying leap was spiritual after all.

Where is the ibuprofen.

Where did the time go

I can't believe it is already time for back to school. MB starts school on 8/1 for 1/2 day and 8/3 for the full first day of FIRST GRADE.

It seems like just two weeks ago I was pregnant.
Just 1 week ago he was born so very frail,fragile and sick....
just 3 days ago he had the kidney transplant
Just 2 days ago he learned to walk, talk and finally ate food!

Wasn't it just yesterday he learned to read and write?

I swear it was just this morning that everything he said made me laugh.

He's such a beautiful boy. Very silly. Very smart. He LOVES God. He loves to sing praises. He loves Vivaldi (at least the Spring movement of the 4 seasons).

Where did the time go? My MB is really 6 and going into first grade.

I'm afraid I'm going to go to bed tonight and wake up and find him married with children of his own.

Wow. I suppose all of this means I'm getting older too. At some point I may decide to grow up.

Nah. I'm gonna let MB catch up and we can grow up together.

I'm gonna go play a game with him now. I bet we play the fishing game. Cherish the time. Man, I love being a mom.

Puppies....free puppies

Our teenage, runaway, unwed lodger gave birth to 7 of the cutest puppies you have ever seen on Sunday. We think this means the daddy is the Rotweiller up the street that runs unhindered. Anybody want a puppy? I have 3 takers so far and 4 more to go, 3 girls and 1 boy...anybody with a HUGE yard want the momma??? I am so serously done with dogs.

Killer headache

Killer headache, day 6. How much longer can I stand the pain in my head????


ARRRggggh...., but a quiet scream. Too loud hurts. Light hurts....thinking hurts.

Must
stop
shhhhhhh.

I Miss

I miss my mom.

That's it. I miss my mom.

a very good friend sent this to me today....

It is from Beth Moore and it applies to my life so much right now it is not funny. Somebody I love is struggling with an addiction that not only affects their life, but the lives of everybody this person loves.

My sin in it all is not trusting God that He can change this person's heart, and in affect, my life.

I am guilty of not believing that GOD is personally interested in me. I long for the days when all I had to worry about was what part of the Bible I was going to read and how long I could pray before I missed class or work....and how I was getting to my next Bible Study. Oh how I long to return to the fervor of my "early days" in Christ.

Father, forgive my wonderlust from you. You have not strayed, I have moved, and too far away at that. Renew my spirit and make it ever true.

oh, and change the life of that person I spoke about. Help them see you and the pit and help them get out of it.

Laurie, thank you for sending this today....it was just what I needed.

Here is Beth's study:


Mind the Holy Spirit’s Warning!
with Beth Moore

“For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy;
for I betrothed you to one husband, that to
Christ I might present you as a pure virgin.
But I am afraid, lest as the serpent deceived
Eve by his craftiness, your minds should be
led astray from the simplicity and purity of
devotion to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 11:2, 3)

A young woman confided to me that she had fallen into an area of sin after swearing just the day before she would never do such a thing! What is being eroded to give the enemy that kind of entrance to overtake the externals of our lives and our actions? We cannot be possessed by Satan when we are sealed by the Holy Spirit and totally secured by Christ's salvation, but what happens when we slip into his seductive trap?

The Bible shows us that someone can be suddenly and unexpectedly overtaken in sin. Even the most spiritual person can be totally guarded in one area of their life and be trapped by the enemy in another unguarded area. That seems to be the real art of Satan’s plan of seduction. The day-to-day warfare Christians experience may be the hard ball, but seduction is the curve ball that comes from a direction we are not expecting.

No child dreams of being an alcoholic or a drug addict. Nobody plans a sexual addiction. The curious person that viewed pornography for a few moments never intended to be so obsessed that they spend their work hours craving more images.

The truth is that the enemy has planned an addiction for you and he drapes the rope of bondage very loosely at first, then suddenly jerks on the other end and you slip into his pit. We can’t walk in fear or hyper-legalism, but we must learn to walk in the spirit so we sense God’s warning signals.

On occasion, I have walked away from a place or a situation without knowing why. I just sensed the Spirit’s caution. Jesus abides in us by way of His Holy Spirit once we receive Him as our personal savior. It is imperative that we ask Him to fill us so when the Holy Spirit checks us, we will obey His warning regardless of how it appears in the natural.

I asked Christians who’d found themselves in a seductive mess if they were given a warning. Every person said, “Yes.”

“Why didn't you heed it,” I asked.

The consistent answer was, “I thought I was imagining it, so I talked myself out of it.”

Galatians 5:16 commands us to, “Walk in the spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” When we sense the Holy Spirit is alerting us, we must learn to mind the spirit.

He will also tell us when a person is worthy of being helped, but we are not the one to help them. We have a very mean-spirited enemy who turns something that looks good into something evil. We may find ourselves broken, devastated and humiliated if we fail to heed the warning.

The voice on the airport tram warns, “Please step away from the door,” meaning if you don't get back, this door will take your head off! Under the open eyes of the Holy Spirit, we hear signals communicated from inside of us. If we don't learn to listen and walk in the Spirit we will feel it and slip into an early grave the devil prepares for us. He wants to bury us alive so far under the mud that we see no way out.

Often we won't make cry for help because we're too ashamed reveal the mess we are in. God has a rescue plan and if we obey Him, we will be able to say as the Psalmist did,

I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.

Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.
(Psalm 40:1-5)

This Week
God wants you to come before Him and cry out, “Here I am—with all the broken mess I have made of my life. Here I am.”

Prayer
“Lord, pull me out of the enemy’s pit, and put my feet on The Rock, so I have a firm place to stand. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit so that I will not be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.”

It's been a few weeks now

I have to say, it does not get easier after your mom passes away.

I have been fine, really, for the most part. It's the little things that really make you miss the ones you love when they are gone.

We have been out house shopping lately (trying to get a bigger place in case dad decides that he wants to come here). We went looking in the school district we really want to stay in and found some really cute home (a bit out of price range, but cute cute houses). When we got home I really wanted to call mom and tell her about the houses, esp. the really cute one with vaulted celings and a basement (unheard of in Tennessee). It was a cold slap in the face to realize I could not call mom. Yeah, I was a bit melencholy after that.

This past week MB had several surgeries all performed on the same day. As I was bringing him home on Saturday, I really wanted to talk to mom. She was the one who came and helped take care of MB and the daddy after the transplant. I could really use her help now. As kids, we all had our tonsils out at the same time (sometimes I think my mom was nuts!!! but in a good way). MB will not drink and it's making me nuts because HE, of all kids, MUST drink, and a lot at that. I have a feeling we are going to end up back in the hospital in the next day or two if he will not drink. Anyway, I really wanted to call mom, who took care of all 4 of us kids after our tonsilectomy, and ask "were we this obnoxious?" (Sorry MB, but yeah, you are being obnoxious!). Again, I can't.

I realize how much I took mom being there for granted.

Call your mom now and give her a phone hug and smootch. Tell her, even if you don't get along all the time, that you love her. It's easier while they are still here!

in honor of a good woman

My mother passed away this afternoon after a long, hard battle with breast cancer. She was diagnosed in 1996. We thought it was gone. We thought she was in remission. She was about to get a clean bill of health 2 years ago..you know, 10 years cancer free, when it came back with a vengance.

To my mom....I'm glad you are free from your suffering. I trust you are in Heaven with your dad, mom, brother, and our beloved bootsy. No more troubles. No more pain. Breathing without oxygen. Rest peacefully mom. Know you will be missed. Know the kids will be fine. The grandkids will have great memories. WE will pass on the good. Thanks for all you did for us kids. Thanks for the sacrifices you made that we will never know of. Thanks for teaching us how to be a mom.







In loving memory of Jackie. Peace is finally yours. I'll see you in heaven.
P.S. don't worry, we've got daddy's back!

MB turns 6 today!!!!

Not bad for a kid that was not supposed to live 4 days.....ha!
To those who have been there from the get go and those who are new to us...thank you for the extreme love and support over the years. We would not have made it this far except for the love and prayers and support of all of our friends that we have met, have never met and sometimes don't even know. May God bless you all.

To my precious boy, who will not only have a special birthday snack day today at school, but will also have lunch in the park, his kindergarten graduation and a special birthday gift on his birthday (he thinks he got all his gifts at his party on Saturday).....I love you more than words will ever express.



I have given everything for you and to you...and I will as long as God gives me breath.

Thank you for fighting when you could have given up.
Thank you for bearing through what is coming up in 2 weeks (ouch).
Thank you for the love and the hope and the future you hold.
Thank you that you gave your 5 yr old heart fully to God, now mommy knows we will be together in heaven someday too.




To my son, my brother in the Lord, and the best gift I ever got...
Happy Happy Birthday!!

I can't help but get all teary eyed when I think of all you have been through. I also get all choked up when I dream about what is to come for you.

You are becoming an amazing boy. Your love of music inspires me. Your desire to not "break God's heart" amazes me and makes me push my own devotion and faith to that more like a childs.

I can't wait to see what is to come.



Have a great birthday MB. Keep on going!!

Love your mommaria

Quick family update

Mom is still fighting. Dad, against his will, has been forced by reality, to move mom to a nursing home. She goes this Monday. We had some really really high drama in the last month at their house (mostly thanks to my younger sister and her misguided attempt to help). I think my dad is finally willing to let mom go. That is all she is waiting for.

Grandma, my dad's mom, passed away. Her funeral is next weekend up in Illinois. We decided I would go by myself.

I'm stressed. Dealing with my family by myself is not going to be fun, however, my MIL says I can come stay with her. That will be good. I love my MIL.

MB is doing great. He graduated Kindergarten with 98.7%. The only exception was that he still writes a few letters backward. No biggie, lots of practice. We are preparing a 6 year old pirate party for his birthday. Argh!

That about wraps this up.

told you it would be quick.

A moment of silence

A moment of silence for those lost at Virginia Tech.











God help us all.

Wow!!! I am one happy momma!

We were in church last Sunday and MB tells me he wants to take communion. So I start talking with him about what that means.

He says 'I know mom, it's the blood of Jesus'. yeah, I swear that is what he said. Then he asked if it was really blood. I explained the last supper and the bread and the wine and that grapes make wine, and we drink grape juice here. He asked more questions. I answered.

So, since he "got it" I let him take communion.

Then he started asking me A LOT of questions, so we went into the hall and sat at a table near the coffee station and talked ...and talked... and talked.

I asked him if he wanted to let Jesus be his Lord and Saviour. He said yes. So we prayed...rather he prayed. I cried. LOL....then the pastor gave the invitation and he went forward and prayed with the pastor and told him he wanted to be baptized.

So my baby is being baptized on Easter Sunday!!

Our pastor is beside himself happy that he is baptizing MB. He loves MB! He was actually giggling about it on the phone when he called to be sure we could do it this weekend. When the filled out MB's membership form the elders asked me if MB knew what he was doing. The resounding answer, yes. He knew exactly what he was doing. He said so, to them, himself.

God has big things planned for this little man and now MB admits that he is God's boy.

Rejoice with me. My baby is being baptized after he makes his proclamation of faith that Jesus is Lord on Easter Sunday.

Wow!!

Take a deep breath.

In the midst of everything mom, we had a MB scare that I did not mention because I was firmly believeing it was nothing.

I did not mention it, but when we had his labs a week ago they came back with uric acid crystals in his urine. The Nephrologist called me and said....it could be nothing, just dehydration, but what elses causes uric acid crystals.

Wait for it.....
Bueller????

I answered kidney stones.

She TOTALLY one up-ed me.....

she says "it could also be lymphoma".

but she prefaced it with "I don't want to worry you" yeah, spoken like a woman who has no children. OF COURSE YOU WORRIED ME!!!!!

So we made him DRINK like CRAZY over the weekend and re-drew labs yesterday.

The nurse calls me today and assures me all is back to normal.

So, counting the new gray hairs from "not worrying" I still worry because we seem to have a puking issue that is unresolved. I did ask the nurse to look into that for me. She will ask the doc.

So, PRAISE GOD, not lymphoma.

I wonder if this will ever get easier.

How do you say goodbye..

when you don't want to? I know that death is a part of life, and we begin dying the moment we are born. That does not make losing somebody you love any easier.

My mom is dying. We are talking end of it dying, any day now dying. I'm losing my mom. This is not so much about that as it is about telling you about how cool my mom was. Believe me, she made mistakes (as I am quite sure I do as a mom too), but I think people should know how cool they are before they die, not after when only the stories are left for those who survive. Here are a few about my mom.

When we were little kids, I'm talking 4,6,7,and 8, my mom took all 4 of us on a vacation while dad was on a trip. Dad was a truck driver and was gone a lot, but that did not stop mom. She took all of us to the beach, rented a motel room, and sunbathed on the beach while we kids tested the water, built sand castles and basically tortured one another. Now, this was before sunscreen was all the rave, and all of us got sunburned pretty badly. We all slept in a motel bed, mom and little sister and me and big sister and brother got the cot.....
that is one brave lady.

I also remember when we all got the chicken pox at the same time. LOL....poor mom. She had 4 kids, one bathroom and calamine lotion to soothe a small army. How she kept us all alive when I struggle with one, I don't have a clue. She tells stories of us walking up to her and saying "mom, I think I am going to..." blaaaaach....yup, we all, at one time or another, have puked on my mom. Yet, she still loves us. There is her sainthood.

Then there was the time we went grocery shopping in Indiana because they don't have sales tax on food (Most progressive state in the nation people!!...in this at least). We had a car full of kids and food and I was leaning on the car door. I don't know how, but while we were getting on the interstate, the door popped open. My sister held on to my legs while my mother pulled over and gathered me in the car. I tell you what, being a mom...I don't know how she survived that.
My mom...my guardian angel.

Then, when I was in high school, I took mom's car and went to Great America when I was not supposed to. While I was there, some drunk 13 year old hit my mom's car. Wendy and I were okay, and, from the outside, mom's car was okay. By the time we got home, the car was having trouble. When I hit the driveway, the car died and I coasted into it's regular parking spot. The next day the car would not start. I told mom somebody backed into it in the parking lot (hey, half true). My friend Wendy came along and said "hey ma, (*everybody calls her ma) did Mommaria tell you about the kid that hit us last night at Great America"....yeah, she said it. Mom came into my room and asked for the truth. My mom...the lie detector (I have never lied to her since then).

Mom, you didn't do things perfectly, you did them the best you could. You always did what you thought was right by us kids. You always made sure we had what we needed and an awful lot of what we wanted. You were always a friend. You were always strong. You are still strong.

I am so excited that you have prayed and allowed Jesus to be your saviour. I know that cancer may take you, but I will see you whole and happy again when my turn comes. I hope my son has good things to say about me at that point too.

It's just a shame more people don't know you like we do.
You were mom to all. Thanks for the open door.

I love you.
I will continue to love you.
When you go....I will miss you.

"This is the bug that never ends....it just goes on and on my friends"

Remember the song from Lambchop? The song that never ends......yeah, this winter and sickness in this house is just like that song....only a lot less clever but just as annoying.

I swear, if MB is not sick I am...if I am not sick MB is. My real question here is "how does DH not get sick"?

I'm about to do some hidden immuno testing on him if this doesn't stop soon.

Before I can do that I have to be able to walk from the pile of blankets on top of my shivering self in the living room the 12 steps it takes to get to the bathroom without shaking my bones to pieces from chills.

Ugh.......Spring spring already, please.

Shameless Clep from another blog (see my blog list and you will see it)

Stole this from a friends blog (honestyrain, thanks! LOL) It's a shame how few of these I've actually read...how bout you.

KEY:
bold italics=have read the book;
italics=want to read the book;
crosses=own the book;
asterisks=unfamiliar with the book.
and this one i am adding…
~ comments after author name=extra comments i could not resist making
1. The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)~ no desire to read. I tried. not interested.
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)†
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)~ Look I sat through the movie once, it was enough.
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien) ~ Nope, but the Hobbit, yeah baby!
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)~ LOVE it
9. Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)~again, the movie was enough
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)*
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling) † love it
12. Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)*
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix(Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving)
15. Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. Fall on Your Knees (Ann-Marie MacDonald)*
18. The Stand (Stephen King) I like SK, I don't care who knows it.
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)† ~one of my all time favorite books
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien) †
22. The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott) †
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. Life of Pi (Yann Martel)*
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams) ~ hated it
27. Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)~nope, not for me
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)† ~loved the series
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie (Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. 1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. I Know This Much is True (Wally Lamb)
39. The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible †
46. Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)~own it, want to read it,why dont' I read it.
48. Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb ~as a fat girl, I hate this book.
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)†
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davies)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller)
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down (Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)~hated it
93. The Good Earth (Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton) ~adored this book
97. White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce


so, what are your favs from here.