I want the basics.

Have you ever been so tired of your "life" that you just longed to figure out what you were here for??

There was a time when I believed I knew what I wanted...
-A career in radio where I could be the mid-day jock, in work after the kids left for school, home when they got home.
-------that was gone FAST when the reality of a career in radio was discovered after what, 21 years doing it? So the family/radio thing did not work out.

-The work from home mommy. I kind of fell into that one after MB was born. I was working overnights while DH was working days in the same doctor's office. I would bring MB to work, DH would take him home, hook him up to the dialysis machine and I would come home around 3am, crash on MB's bedroom floor with my hand through the crib slates so he would know I was there, ready to jump on any of the wild and numerous alarms that sounded through the night so DH could get a few hours of sleep....yadda yadda yadda, a transcription job fell in my lap. I had no training but showed aptitude (something I appear to have an abundance of...if people are willing to look).
--------that ended when I decided people were more important than work and lost my job while helping a sick friend...se la vie!

-The work out of the home mommy, but that's okay b/c MB is in school. Yeah, I can do this. I have been doing it very successfully...duh...see aptitude above. I can do ANYTHING....but where is the love...where is the joy. It AIN'T at work. LOL. (sorry grammaticarians...I had to do it....and I think I just made up a word to boot!)
--------it has not ended and, in fact, continues like it makes me happy. It's a paycheck. I enjoy what I do and the company is okay, but it is stressful.

so, what is my first love? What makes me happy?? Well, to some extent, writing, but I'm so insecure in my abilities that I don't think I have a chance with that unless I'm writing copy or something like that. So what else?

Food. No, not eating it, though that rocks when it's done right, but I love cooking good food!!
Tonight for dinner, I grilled steaks, make eggplant Parmesan and cooked butternut squash...and made fresh baked bread (I did not do that from scratch though, not a great baker, but a great cook indeed!).

The food was FANTASTIC. I had never made butternut squash before. I have not made eggplant Parmesan in YEARS and steak...well, get a good grill and that is easy peasy. Oh, also baked a potato for DH since he was scowling at me when he saw the eggplant and the squash!!!

I am not sure how to pursue this or if I want to. It's fun to prepare good food and make people, myself included, happy. Do I want to do this for a restaurant full of picky unappreciative people?

I am not sure. I am still exploring what I want to do when I grow up...since I'm 40, I better figure this out soon.