Family.

What a wrong dynamic in my universe.

The current situation:
Mom is dying of recurrent breast cancer in the lungs, bones and anywhere else it wanted to go. The docs are using nice words like "comfort measures" and "2 days, 2 weeks, 2 years....we just don't know". So, while she is still here, we are making an effort to get my MB down to Texas to visit grandma while she is still "healthy" (really the wrong word here. Better words, "not scary yet"). So we are going soon to see her. I tried to go by myself so nobody has to watch me melt down, but mom said I can not come without MB.

She is beyond the 2 day mark and we will see her post the 2 week mark as well. Mom is a fighter. She will hang on for us.

The DRAMA:

The Siblings:
Sibling #1: Recently moved out of our house into an apartment with her daughter. Sibling #1 is not happy that we are going, but she can not, because she can not afford a ticket nor the time off, and I can't afford to bring her along for the ride this time. She is happily watching the pets at our place for us while we are gone. Thank you sissy.

Sibling #2: Sibling #2 had mom living with him for a few weeks when the cancer first popped it's ugly head back up. Sibling #2's LOVELY wife kicked my mother out of their house while she was undergoing treatments. Dad had moved to the great state of Texas while mom was in the hospital because their house had been sold and they had to be out, so Sibling #2 said he would take mom in because Sibling #1 sold her house as well and had nowhere to go (hence moved to Tennessee) and Sibling #3 has a LOT of issues including a teenie tiny house and some other issues best not discussed here and Tennessee is too far from Indiana to come here when you ar sick and the daily treatment option was out of the question from here, the commute would have done us both in. So now Sibling #2 wants to run down to Texas to see mom before she passes, probably to assuage his guilt.

Sibling #3 is the youngest of us 4 children. Sibling #3 is a big P.I.T.A. Sibling #3 has called my father, who has quite enough on his plate being as he is not entirely healthy himself, and pretty much tells him that he needs to buy her tickets for her, her ignorant jerk of a husband and her two teenage sons who do nothing but play computer games all day. Dad called me yesterday and asked me if I had the same parents as her. LOL.....um, dad, that would be more of a question for you and mom...not me. So we talk about it, leading me to tell him how much it is costing us to come see mom. Got a good rate, but it's still expensive. Traveling at crazy hours and days to get there as inexpensively as possible, then there is the car rental and food so mom and dad don't have to feed us. So dad got a ballpark figure. He calls Sibling #3 back and tells her, pretty much, to stuff it. If she can't manage to get her husband off his rump to pay for it, it's not gonna happen. Then he spells out how much airfare would be, plus a rental car (to which she replies that HE should drive the 100 plus miles to pick her and her brood up and pay for the gas to do it) and then he adds the food thing in (now she is irate that they are not willing to feed her). All in all, it would cost her about $2000 for the trip. So now the brilliant Sibling #3 is mad at me because I'm going. Yeah. Like I asked mom or dad for anything.

What have I asked my parents for? I asked that I see their lawyer friend while I am there (so I can help make real arrangements for when mom, and subsequently dad, do pass). I asked if I can go grocery shopping for them and cook some meals and freeze them so when mom can't cook all dad has to do is thaw and warm a dish I made for them.

Talking to dad tonight he flat out asks me "What are you going to do if you mom does not die? You are all going to be mad at me for getting you all to come down here aren't you?". Um......
no. "Dad, if mom does not die right after I come down it means I still have my mom!" Hellooooooo where does he get this crap from??? I then explained to him that I have a 5-year-old monkey who does not need to see death. If mom is "healthy" (see above) then my son remembers grandma "not scary" and has a good memory. You see, it's not just about mom, dad, sibling #1, #2 or #3, not about me, not about death and dying. It's about trying to let my son see his grandma one last time and have a good memory of it, not a scary tube filled, coma thing. This whole thing is hard enough. I don't need trauma on top of it.

Is that wrong?