Oh My GOODNESS!!!

If you want to laugh your head off, go to www.elfyourself.com and pop in a few headshots of yourself, your family and the crabbiest person you know...

I gare-on-tee you will giggle yourself silly. I just spent almost 1-1/2 hours playing with this.

Oh, and share your giggles, you can email it to the person you elf-ed.

bwhaahahahahaa..

Merry Christmas!

If I could have a do-over

Stealing a post idea from a good friend. (thanks Tracy)

I like the idea of no regrets, only things that "maybe I would have done differently".

My list includes:

Getting married younger. Waiting till 30 was hard. Though sometimes I think I am still not ready to be married and we are 7 years into this thing callled life together.

I would have had children younger and more of them. That harkens back to the first issue. If you "wait" till you are married, as I did, you have to "wait" for the little blessings. I would like to have had more kiddos of my own and been younger to get around with them more.

Study something differen in school. Yeah. You're right momma. I should be a teacher, but really, how do I jump to that track now with the whole family/house/car/dogs/cats etc. Or maybe I should be a doctor, or a nurse...but definately not this claim stuff. I'm bored.

NO dogs in the house...ever. Seriously. If a dog is over 10 pounds, it belongs outside, with it's fleas.

well, really, that's it for now...seriously, I think.

Christmas

Christmastime can be a strange time of year. I grew up in the cold North with promises of way too much snow and no school and sledding. Now I live in the "South" and it's hot, not just warm, but down right hot today.

"What, today is not Christmas". Yep, I hear ya. Yesterday was. At our house at least. It sounded something like this from my bedroom.

MB to older brother: "my alarm went off, but the front is dark still. There is NOBODY out there."
(Unfortunately I could not hear which brother he was talking to so I missed half of the converstaion, but my vivid imagination fills it in because then I hear MB say, "But nobody else is awake". (mommy was smart enough to set MB's alarm so he would get me up and I could give him his meds and I would not have to reset my alarm clock, yet I could get an extra hour of sleep).

Finally I hear the patter of MB feet down the hall into the living room where I hear him exclaim:
(insert big sucking sound here and then a REALLY REALLY LOUD VOICE) "SANTA CAME ALREADY!!!!!"

and he had. We have my stepsons for a week, and rather than letting them open stuff and then leave, I figured I'd give them something to play with (other than the Xbox) for the time they were here.

So we had Christmas yesterday. I did inform MB if he is very very good, maybe we can sprinkle the "reindeer food" out front and Santa will come back on Christmas day.

Am I worried about Santa? Not at all. Ask MB why we celebrate Christmas and he will tell you it's when we celebrate the birth of Jesus (and then he will follow that with "my mommy needs to have another baby. I swear, I didn't bait that. The kid wants somebody to play with all the time).

The kids gleefully opened their gifts. Searched for their names on little tags. Grinned in delight as things they had NO expectation of were received. Each gift joyfully received and joyfully given. (Mommy likes finding the right thing, even when she is not sure what that is). Daddy basking in the moment and the discovery of what was chosen for each child.

No, I'm not worried about Santa. The kids in our house know what the season is all about. Giving and recieving. Ask MB about Santa and he will tell you of St. Nicholas. He understands that the star on the top of our tree is a reminder of a star over a town called Bethlehem over a baby in a barn sleeping in a feeding trough. That is how our Saviour, the love of our life, the one true Prince of Peace started his life. MB knows that this is a miracle. He LOVES the story and, thanks to a nifty product I saw last year called "What God Wants for Christmas" he knows that the gift we can give is ourselves, completely and without hesitation, to God. God WANTS us. There are people who feel unwanted and unloved or unlovable. That is not true. God WANTS you, deeply and truely and completely.

This Christmas, whether you celebrate early, late, or multiple times, remember the true gift is yourself given with the enthusiasm of a child finding the presents on Christmas; not concerned with brushing his teeth, combing his hair or even taking off the nasty pull-up until the last gift is received and the "afterglow" of Christmas is in the room. Not worried about "cleaning up" to come and recieve a gift. Just coming to the moment and making the choice to give into it. When you find yourself in that moment, I urge you to give in to the One who has wanted you from the beginning of time..

Merry Christmas, every day, every year.

Bad FORM people

We have a congested coffee area at work (Don't even get me started on the whole ice maker thing...blech)...
we have one of those cool machines that you pick your pouch of coffee and slap it into the machine and wait like 35 seconds (too long sometimes) to get a pippin' hot cup-o-joe or tea or whatever is your fancy from a pouch. Not the best, but when you are desperate for a fix, it'll even brew you an espresso.

But it's in a corner, next to a toaster, a water "purifier" and a regular coffee pot next to the sink and said blechy ice machine is on the bottom.

Flanking coffee station on the right are 3 gross refrigerators that everybody forgets they have food in.

So here's the problem. People who stand directly in front of the blechy ice maker and the coffee station, blocking the water "purifier" and the other coffee pot....FOR NO APPARENT REASON...and don't move when you say "excuse me".

COME ON PEOPLE, when there are 3 people standing there looking at you like "GET out of the WAY!" and one finally says "excuse me, could you move".....

M O V E!!!!!

Don't glare at us
Don't look at me like I'm stupid.

MOVE YOUR BUTT, you're blocking the motivation for work.

It'd be different if you were waiting on a somewhat tasty coffee or even being brave enough to gag your way into the ice machine (It's a scoop thing...and I've seen the scoop hit the floor and the rude dropper just hang it back up like they didn't just drop it on the GROSS floor.....really ppl...and we won't talk about bathroom hands.....blechy!!!!!)

But if you are standing there for attention, I guarantee the attention you are getting is not what you want.

Wanna talk on your cell phone privately, I guarantee that is not the place.
Wanna look important? NOPE.

Just
Move
Out
of the
Way.....and maybe, get yourself some ice so we can have a few days without ya.

The tale of the apple and the tree

I am reminded today of the simple saying "The apple does not fall far from the tree".

That being said, all things that grew with a "stem" need a few more lessons in manners and behavior in my house.

Yeah, read into it all you want, good and bad. It's true.

Oh man the holiday's are upon me and I realized

I'm FAT. Not just Phat or cute oompa loompa fat, but way too big for my britches fat.

It's depressing. I have always been a big girl, but lately.......yeah.

I need to do something. Is it like AA where you admit you are powerless over your fat and bad eating habits and seek your Higher power (In my case God) to help you get rid of the bulge? I am the size of two people. TWO.

Bitterly depressing. I know a lot of the factors in my seeming inability to get rid of the bubbling fat deposits on my body. First there is dissatisfaction with the "state of my life". I am not where I hoped I would be. Not even close. Did I have a lot of plans? Nope, but how do I achieve at least one of them?

Secondly there is the fact that, though I enjoy my job on most days, it is completely sedentary and you are encouraged to NOT leave your cubicle because there is too much to do and only a 30 min lunch to do it in. For me, that's like an extended coffee break, not a work break. Maybe I can get them to change my schedule back to 8 to 5:00, especially since I come in at 7:30 every day anyway after I drop MB off at school.

Thirdly, my house is too small for all the people living here, and all the people, myself included, like to eat crap. That and everybody else is so picky I'm burned out on cooking. I eat because it's there and tastes better than fish and baked chicken.

I need pointers, tips, advice, a chastity belt for my mouth.

Help me dear blogger friend before I blow up like Harry Potter's aunt in The Prisoner of Azcarban. (Don't flame me, I know I probably spelled it wrong. I like Harry Potter).

help

I"m a slacker

forgive me for slacking. I actually had this big giant post and it got deleted....but I'm just not willing to re-write it.

*sigh*

can I get 28 hours in a day so I can get it all done???


I'll be back dear friends.

Of cabbages and kings!!!

This post will probably feel about as crazy as Alice In Wonderland....and it is. I am a bad blogger and really am finding time to blog, read, breath scarce lately.

Here is the general run down on things.

The job: I have just, sort of, been forced into a promotion I didn't really want. I think I will like the position. I still am somewhat resistant to change, which makes it hard, but I'm off the phone (read that as you may be able to call me at home and have me talk for more than 3 seconds before I HAVE to get off the phone.) It's hard to work in a call center, even as a woman, and want to talk on the phone. Your words are just used up by noon and you still have to force yourself to talk all afternoon and then go home and deal with the whole family dynamic. I am now working in a specialty queue, though it is not official yet, but I'm already doing the job. Now I wonder if this job means more money.

The boy: He just had a 2 week break due to year-round school here in the Tennessee county we live in, and going back was a wee bit rough. Like the first day of school all over again. We finally got his school pictures. What a cutie. Then, the weather factors in here, he is in our bed EVERY NIGHT again. We had to turn the heat on, and the unit is right outside his bedroom. I wonder if the sounds of the heaters kicking on is his problem, but he's in our bed again today. Read that as less sleep for a tired mommy.

The husband: He's dressing up for work now. Wow...he looks good all dressed up. The secret here, revealed about me, I like to iron. Shhhhhhh. It seems to be paying off at work now because he has been given a mentor position. I hope for good things for him. We are excited because we get to go see the Blue Man Group on Friday. Should be cool. We saw Stomp last year and enjoyed it greatly.

The sister: My sister lives with us and I have to say, it's NICE to have a sister finally. We act like sisters do; we argue, we make up, we tease each other and steal clothes and things. Finally. It only took 40 years for us to get along. Her daughter, who lives with her aunt right now so she could stay in Illinois, finally thinks I'm cool, goofy, but cool.

The Mommaria: I'm tired. I don't have enough hours in a day....and I'm tired of trying to think of what to cook every night for dinner. Is that harsh? I hate that it is my "home job" to figure out what people want to eat and then cook it. But I don't want to complain. Even eating out, it's always the same thing. Is it right that food is boring. I'm also on a cleaning mission, so dirt, get outta my way. I'm on a quest to clean my house totally and make it stay that way. We are enforcing some new rules around the house. The living room is done, including the carpets cleaned. Nobody gets to leave a mess in the living room anymore!!! So when you visit, please stay in the living room. Hahahahaaa. That took me a full day to get it looking that way and there is only 1 Saturday per week.

Well, blogger friend, how are you? I know I'm forgetting a lot more than I'm writing, but I'll be back. I'll try not to make it so long this time too.

Christmas shopping already

Yup. It's that time of the year, you know what I'm talking about...when you start figuring out what those precious people in your life might want or enjoy for Christmas. The only problem is....what....and how to pay for it.

*sigh*.

Ebay has been a blessing this year as I have been able to find the "odd" things the kids will like, gently used or new, and much less expensively than I would find them in a store (not to mention some of the stuff is pretty old!).

I have too many people I want to bless this year....and no where NEAR enough funds to do the blessing.

Little bit is getting a set of 19 Wishbone books. He loves Wishbone. I was able to find a tiny talking Wishbone on Ebay, so he's getting that with his books too.

One of the older boys is getting some books too. I'm afraid he may find this site, so no talking about the older kids stuff.....with the exception of the 11 year old. HELP!!!

I'm totally at a loss as to what to get this kiddo. He is no help either. When he is asked what he may like he says "I don't know". Gee, thanks.

So, any ideas what an 11 year old boy might like for Christmas???? Clues... Anybody....Bueler??

I'm a new momma!

Anybody who KNOWS me knows I want more kids.

Anbody who REALLY knows me knows I have been "fixed" and can not have any more children.

Today, my husband, who obviously loves me, made me a mommy again.

This was a secret that was well hidden. If you thought you knew something I assure you, you did not.

I did not even know till he and Auntie C walked in the house today with the MOST BEAUTIFUL loving pitch black baby kitten! I'm in love. I named him Felix II (anybody who knows me well enough to call me by any of my nicknames knows Felix was the end all be all cat I had when I was a teenager. He is the cat by which all cats are now judged (Boots the standard for all dogs!).

This little guy is awesome.

How did I get a cat from a man who is allergic to cats??

My sister's cat ran away 2 weeks ago and does not appear to be coming back. We all miss girly girl. My husband knows I love black cats. They got me a black cat.

On a funny note, the people who gave us the cat asked my sister why she specifically wanted a black cat. LOL....they even asked if we were going to kill it on Halloween. Silly people, absurd timing I suppose.

So, My MB is excited because Felix's bed is in his room. He's giddy with joy that Felix will be in his room and responds to toys, and loves to play.

This is so sweet. I love my hubby too.

Thank you for my favorite birthday present 1 month late ever.

One very politically incorrect observation....

Has anybody else realized the biggest problem with Bluetooth technology is not so much that people NEVER get off their cell phones now, but rather that you can not tell if the person walking toward you muttering, seemingly to themselves, is skitzo or talking on their phone.

Seriously people. It's kind of creepy to see you talking to yourselves all the time.

Just an observation. (and let me say here, I am NOT making fun of the mentally ill, that is a serious problem....I'm slamming your silly looking blue tooth technology).

Another year older

I had a birthday on Wednesday. Yup, older. More gray hair (my crowining glory). My family and I went to Red Lobster for dinner .....mmm crab legs!!! The closest we are going to get to real seafood in Tennessee. Nothing like crab legs in Florida though....they were my first.

As I got a little older you would think that I can get over the fact that nobody makes me a birthday cake for my birthday. Why is this. In my mind, it is WRONG to have to make your own birthday cake. RL did give me a cute little scoop of ice cream with whipped cream and chocolate syrup, but dudeee......how bout the yummy looking vanilla cheesecake???? MB enjoyed the ice cream.

I did blow out the candle and make a wish. What did I wish for you may ask. I have always been told if you tell it does not happen, but since I don't believe that, dear blogger friend, let me tell you what I wished for:

I wished for a year of healthy family members. With all that my mom has been through in the last year, she called and told me a few weeks ago that the doctors did mammograms, ultrasounds, bloodwork, sonograms and everything just shy of cracking her in half to see if she is really human and determined that she does not have a recurrent breast cancer, at least not in her breast, but all they could find was a cyst. She is not sure of the lung situation, because she just had pneumonia, but it seems to be better too. God is good!

Then MB started school. He is in a class with 16 other kids. Praying for health and safety for him.

I have my own issues....and who knows what else can be thrown our way.

I also wished for comfort in the lack of peace in the world around us.

Then I find myself THANKFUL that I'm upper 30-something years old and was excited that I can look back and see good and look forward to more good. My father wished me a HB yesterday and said just wait till you're 60. I said I can't wait. That means I got an additional 20+ years to live! He does not understand my acceptance with this concept. He is not a happy man....I AM a thankful, try to be happy woman.

I am thankful that though I was born 2 months early I am alive in a time where that was harder than usual.

I am grateful that in 1996 I survived a blood clot in my lung that almost killed me. ALMOST.

I am grateful that there are people who love me.

I am grateful for my husband and all he does.

I am grateful for my little MB who got up first thing in the morning on my BD and said "mommy, I have to sing Happy Birthday to you" and then proceeded to sing. Warmed my heart!!!

I am grateful that my sister is here with us and celebrated my birthday with me.

I'm just thankful for life on my birthday, today and everyday. It is my favorite birthday gift.

If you are not from Nashville this probably won't mean anything to you.

Today I am happy for an odd kind of reason. A person I never met was murdered, presumbably, 10 years ago. Today her killer was brought to justice. Now I'm not talking about Jon Benette Ramsey, thought I'm glad they found her killer and he confessed. I'm talking about a woman named Janet Levine. Her husband, Perry March, was (thankfully and with long overdue justice) found guilty of murder, tampering with the evidence and abuse of a corpse in her death. Her body has never been found.

The really really really sad part of this is that 2 children now have to live without either of their parents. One because she was threatening divorce and the other because he was callous and cowardly enough to murder her for it. After Mrs. Levine-March went missing 10 years ago a local TV station interviewed one of the children who said he could remember his mom leaving in her car, with her suitcase, and she thought to look up at his window and wave as she left. The problem with this was this was a couple of years after his mom went missing. Shortly AFTER the lawyer picks up his kids and moves to Mexico where he marries another woman and HIDES for 10 years.

The man's father moved to Mexico too. They both had to be extradited back to the US when formal charges were FINALLY made.

On this point I want to praise the police investigators and all the hard work they did on this case. I can not imagine the roadblocks that were thrown in their way. We have been told some of them, but I'm sure not all of them. In addition to running off to another country, Perry March was found guilty of trying to hire a hitman to kill his in-laws, Janet's parents. He was found guilty of stealing from the clients at the law firm he worked at. Charging thousands of dollars in fees and the billing the clients again for the firm....the clients got stuck paying legal bills twice. I don't care how much money you have, that sucks. Being a lawyer, he knew how to play the game and play he did. He tried to offer up deals on his way back to the U.S. "If I confess can you get me less time or time served" kind of crap. Not the words of an innocent man.

The MOST frustrating thing, aside from OBVIOUSLY feeding his son a lie about the day his mother disappeared for so long that the child really believes it to be true, is the fact that his lawyers actually tried to say because there was no body she was not really dead.

come on.....seriously. WHO did you think was going to buy THAT???

1. They were known to be fighting.
2. Friends and family say Janet was divorcing him and threatening to blow the whistle on his money scheme at work and take EVERYTHING.
3. Suddenly she's gone...while your daddy's construction business is laying a concrete foundation or driveway.
4. Your obviously ailing father confesses on video that HE HELPED YOU bury the body, but he can not recollect exactly where.
5. YOU begged for a deal on an airplane ride back to the U.S. before you stood trial for murder, conspiracy to commit murder, on and on....
6. Your son begs to not be put on the stand. (you think he's not gonna need a little help??)

Come on Perry, the best you deserve is the death sentance. Unfortunately, because it was 2nd degree murder you will get 12 to 25 years. I pray it's closer to 25 in a maximum security prison. You deserve at least that.

Your children deserve the truth.

Your children deserve to live with Janet's parents who can love them, share memories of their mother and help them get the help they need now that they too know you MURDERED THEIR MOTHER.

yeah, 25 years is too easy for you.

You know what I wish right now...?

I wish I could remember my password to pay the phone bill.

Lets see..
I have 5 bill log-in's with different passwords and IDs to remember
My email password and log in.
My Blog password and log in.
the bank log in and password
6 different passwords and log-ins at work, wait, 7 if you count the time card log in.
3 password/log in's to remember for my sister.
the PIN on my ATM card.
The login, password and phone number for the homework hotline we check every night.

is it any wonder my memory is cached out?

The sick part of it all, with all of this password crap, somebody still stole my credit card number.
HAH on them....we were almost at the limit anyway and you are BUSTED!

oh...hey, I forgot the login for my cell phone's voice mail...can't forget that....

now...where did I store that phone bill logon before we get cut off.????

And so it begins

This morning was the second full day of school for MB and you know what I heard.

"I LOVE school mommy, can we go now?"

bwhahahahahhahaha....yeah, right.

no, I heard "Mommy, I don't want to go to school today. I want to stay home with you all day."

Day TWO people!

I looked squarely at my son and said..
"Angel boy, I know you really are tired because you hem and haw at bed time and really have a hard time going to sleep by 8 and getting up for school at 6:15. You go back and lay down and mommy will make you a nice bowl of fresh fruit and yogurt for breakfast. I'll call off work and we can both just play on the computer all day."


man...you are easy to fool aren't you. Maybe not.

You KNOW what I REALLY said???

First I broke into a fit of laughter and then said : "BOY, you have at least 16 more years of school ahead of you. Get your little butt dressed and eat before I have to put wooden spoon to your little butt."

Then I got sassy pans attitude and told him to go back to bed and come out with a better attitude.

It worked.

Got him to school . He had a great day.

You know, life is a lot like my son's attitude. When you really don't want to do something or you don't get enough sleep, I don't know about you kind blog friend, but I get a little grumpy. I pray that I allow God to send me to my room (or at least my knees) till I get my attitude adjustment.

Just another deep though from a common day. Kids. They teach you something every day.

I see you peeking...waiting....wondering

Yes, MB went to Kindergarten on Monday for his first 1/2 day. I was fine. No weeping, puddling or tugging at his little body to come back with me to the safety and security of his own home. I didn't even cry when we (DH and I) walked out of the school after dropping him off. NOPE. None of that. I did well up a bit when I called my mom and said "My baby is in school!" but my mom is not a softie...not at all. She was kind of like "so what" so I sucked it up and went to work. I did get my Dreamer to bring MB and the brothers to work so we could have lunch together and debrief the day.

He did fine. He even liked it.

Now today was the first full day of Kindergarten. I dropped him off. Told the PALS committee I was intersted in joining (the PTA here is PALS) and walked out of the school. Got in my van and started off to work.....and

wait for it......

wait for it...

cried my freaking eyes out! It's a good thing I don't wear much makeup or I would have looked like my face melted.

I left my baby...excuse me....big boy, little man, sweet kiddo in the care of a capable Christian lady (in a public school, but when a teacher gets happy when you tell her you pray for her every day, you know where she stands). I know he will love her. She loves the kids so much. There are new friends...etc.

MY BABY IS ALL GROWN UP!! (well not all grown up. I still pick his clothes so he will match and make sure he drinks some milk).

Ok, I'm over it for now. Why does my mind go all kinds of crazy places when I step away from my boy? I know I'm over protective and God is in charge of this kid, but man....my imagination is over active.......very very overactive.

So we have our new teacher, new school, new routine (which I abhore, but we will discuss the craziness of that later) and now, let the fundraisers begin. We ALREADY have a fundraiser...yeah, first full day, I've been indoctrinated.

anybody want to buy some school junk??

happy Anniversary

My hunny bunny and I recently celebrated our 7th anniversary. (Lets see how many pet names I can call my precious during this post. Love you schmookins). Since we are trying to get the financial thing together in a better way we decided we would not spend a lot of money on gifts for each other. BUT we did decide on one gift we both wanted and share it.

We discovered our ideal gift while watching television one evening. No, it was not a housekeeper from the Brady Bunch (but if anybody wants to send one over we'd take the housekeeper), it was not a new and improved shampoo or new diet plan. It has to do with a band. My favorite band of all time to be exact. We happened upon a video of Pink Floyd live in concert. I don't know why I love their music so much, but I always have. Since I was like 10 or maybe even younger. I dreamed of seeing Pink Floyd live in concert. Never happened. Then the band broke up when Roger Waters and David Gilmore had some kind of artistic disagreement and that was the end of the Pink.

I was bummed. Then I found out they toured in 1999 and I MISSED IT???? what was wrong with me in 1999. So I missed my opportunity to see my fav band live. Then I MISSED the reunion on MTV for psunami relief (which I heard was annoying at best since MTV thought it best to TALK all over the performace of a lifetime. Punks.

So we spied with our little eyes the PULSE dvd. I looked at my sugar bits, who I have exposed to the viral quality of Pink Floyd's music, and he said "order it". To which I said..."it can be our anniversary gift" knowing he loves it too. We never did order it. Nope.

But you see, my sweetie works with other music lovers and caught sight of the DVD in the hands of one of his co-workers and asked "Hey man where did you get that?" The reply.....Best Buy (shameless plug of Best Buy). My darling then, on his way home from work, stopped and got the DVD for our anniversary...

wait, it gets better.

He not only got it, but about at 1/2 of what we would have paid if we got it from the TV ad (there, now go save money yourselves if you love Pink Floyd).

So my soul mate and I watched Pink Floyd in all it's 2 disk concerted glory (and it is FANTASTIC!!!) over the course of 2 nights. Oh goodness, LOVED IT. It made me really feel like a jerk for missing the show. The little bass player, though a cutie, can NOT sing. Thank goodness he only attempts it once. I LOVED it. So did the daddy. but he fell asleep 1/2 through the 2nd disc. That's ok. I rocked enough for us both.

So, Babe, thank you for getting this for us for our anniversary. I love you pookie.

Oh soo very HOT

Ok, it's just barely August now and it is HOT.......HOT.

No, not just summer hot but wicked disgusting "do I have to step outside?" hot. I write this at 6:30 in the morning and it is already 82 degrees outside. Yeah, 82 is not bad, but add the humidity and it already feels oppressively hot at 6:30 in the morning.

We have 2 auto manufacturing plants near here and they actually SUSPEND PRODUCTION during the day so we commoners can have AC in our houses.

How hot (and humid) is it where you are? We are due for another 105 degree day with the humidity factored in. This is about the 3rd week of this now. With this heat, ask yourselves this:

If you create a HUGE parking lot, why not concrete instead of blacktop or why not paint the blacktop white with black lines??? The walk across the parking lot at work is enough to dehydrate a girl.

Why does lake water get so warm so fast? Going to the lake to cool off is like swimming in a warm tub. It's just not worth the walk across the blacktop again.

and finally

how do you keep a kitchen cool when you need to cook dinner? There are only so many salads a family like mine is willing to eat before they want FOOOOOOD and that means an oven. I can not eat another egg sanndwich in an attempt to keep the oven/stove off.

Share your coping tips here!

I wish I were still a stay-at-home mom...

I got sick on Friday... It was nasty and very uncomfortable. I even called off work because of me...something I NEVER do. Not only that, but it was an incentive meeting day...the day they hand out certificates, balloons, donuts and (my motivation at work) money. But I missed it. I will still get my balloons, certificates and money, but no donuts (who needs those anyway), but I kind of like the excitement of the incentive meetings. But I was HURTING BIG TIME sick...so I stayed home.

Now that I feel somewhat human again (though still queezy and tummy still hurts) MB is puking all over the house. What was lower intestine for me (Thankfully really, I hate puking) MB has upper GI. He started puking while sleeping in my sister's bed (with her permission while she was at work) at 2am. So though I was barely over my tortuous problem, now I have to take care of MB because DH can not handle puke. MB has been vomiting off and on all day, but if you ask him, he feels fine. And he does not have a temperature. This fits me out into torturing myself worrying about rejection as it always does when he gets sick out of nowhere, but I can get him to drink a little and he has eaten a bit without throwing up.

We see his nephrologist on Tuesday. Pray for us that this is just a tummy bug and I got it and because he will never leave me alone, even when I'm sick, probably gave it to him. I pray that is all it is.

The big problem for me is that I have to go to work tomorrow. I know his aunt and daddy will be home with him, but when you are sick you want your ....... mommy.

Man, I wish I could still be a stay-at-home or even work-from-home mom again.

WHAT THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRY DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW.

I read the book called "Chew on This"....yup I did. It caught my eye at the library last week and I read the whole thing...no, devoured it would be the correct term, like a Big Mac Meal with fresh hot fries and large diet coke......

but I have to say, this book GROSSED me out so badly that I can no longer eat fast food. period.

I now have problems grocery shopping in general.

The book is a good read. The beginning is all about the birth of the interstate and with it the drive thru window. Sad really. Wonderous apple orchards turned to concrete jungles. But that, my friends, is just progress in our day and age; the progression of order to chaos.

Then it got to the cool stuff. How McDonald's got the french fry and the very cool sounding potato gun cutter. Seriously, how could anybody who likes gadets pass this one up. It sucks up the potato, strips the skin off while pressure "blowing" the potato through a wicked sharp blade that cuts every potato perfectly. Sweeeeeeeet.

Then the horror of the fast food industry seeps into the warm sesame seed bun heaven. I was so disheartened at how the beef is raised and consumed that I am wondering how we can find out if we are eating free range beef at every turn. The chicken chapter made me cry...seriously. How on EARTH are we eating chickens that are so fat and kept in spaces where they can't move that they are having friggin heart attacks...CHICKEN>>> having HEART ATTACKS! If you are what you eat we are in some serious trouble my friends.

Then the whole soda thing, which has caused me to limit my kids consumption of soda to one or 2 per week, a change they are none to happy about. I myself only drink diet soda and then not very often. Too much carbonation...heartburn you know.

Then the obvious abuse of kids in the system of the fast food mega giants. Yeah, I know somebody has to do it, but when it affects the kids, not cool. I remember working long LOOOOOOONNNNNNG hours at my parents pizza place, but it was not to the detriment of school. And they still make the kids pay for their food, if they want to eat that stuff.

The whole book broke my heart. I have sworn off the stuff. I just can't do it. If one, yes, ONE fast food mega giant with a clown and golden arches can control the way chickens are killed for food and the price of eggs and beef....i'm truly saddened.

So, MB, get over it, mommy is no longer shopping in the arches, with the king or any of them really. I'm just disguested.

"My earthly kingdom for a bathroom"

ROFLOL.....

here's the sitch, as Kim Possible says, we have 3 adults and 1 5-year-old in our teenie, tiny house now and only one ....um...facility. Normally this is not an issue as our schedules differ greatly. I get up before my husband. My sister gets home as we are getting up....not much of a backlog there. But add in the other kids every other weekend and we have some real problems developing.

I know there are exercises to increase the tautness of one's buttocks, but tell me, is there an exercise to increase the size of one's bladder????

My kingdom (on earth, nobody gets the good stuff in Heaven baby) my kingdom for another bathroom .....

and I really could use a bigger kitchen and laundry room....

and is a mud room too much to ask for...wrap around portch and maybe a little storage....

oh and 4 bedrooms.

I ask too much *wink*

Utterly invisible.

Have you ever felt utterly invisible? I have this feeling occasionally, but for some reason lately more than ever. I wish I could say that my invisibilty meant God's visible through me....but I'm not sure that is it either. I just feel invisible.

alone in a house full of people.
alone in an office full of activity and people on the phones.
alone in the church pew.
alone in the grocery store, on the freeway, alone.

I'm wishing and praying for some intrapersonal relationships, but my alone-ness is growing.

I hope I grow out of it soon.

My sister lives with us now and I love it. I spend a lot of time talking to her about God and depression and hope. But I still feel alone.

My son clings to me...but I still feel alone.

I pray, and KNOW I am not alone, but still feel alone.

I sit with my husband and feel alone.

I'm gagging myself now with my self pity. See you 'round.

Summer reading list

We are on vacation, sort of, this week. Visiting my in-laws, and hoping to see my mom before she moves to Texas.

While visiting my in-laws, I have to confess a guilty secret. I LOVE books. Not just "wow, I really like to read" but I LOVE BOOKS and so does my MIL (Mother-in-law for those now familiar with on-line shortcuts). I was sitting in her office and gazing longingly at all of the wonderful books on her shelves when I spotted a book about the friendship of C.S. Lewis and JRR Tolkein. OHHH man. I wanted to stop talking to everybody and read that book. I behaved myself and asked to borrow it....it and about 10 0ther books at this point. My MIL is awesome and we have this whole shared existance a few years apart (you thought I'd give you her age didn't you!)....we are frighteningly similar in many many ways (It is true boys, you marry your mom....ask my husband). So she, of course, loaned me the book...and the others...and then added a few she knew I would like to read. I'm giddy with anticipation. Now, I don't have time to read them now...you know...running all over creation to try to catch up with old friends and family in the area. But I tell you what. I have not watched TV in about a week now and, though I will admit I miss it, I will be missing more when we get home because I want to read these books. I will tell you about them as I go if you are intersted. I have not had a great read in a long time. There are only so many times you can read Jane Ayre or The Red Dwarf before you gotta get some new literature in you.

So thank you Momma.....I'm sorry I'm taking about 1/8 of your personal reading libarary with me back to Tennessee *grin* You can visit it in November when you come for your conference.

Ethical dilema.....what would YOU do?

We had MB's birthday party last week at a local bowling alley. Sooo much fun was had by all who bowled and came to celebrate the birthday of one special kid. We also had a bit of family drama that day, so my mind was muy preocupado......

I settled up with the bowling alley after 3 hours of 15 people cosmic bowling. It was a bit higher than expected, but really, everybody had a great time and it really was quite a deal for 3 hours of 15 people bowling. The tab was $103.00. I handed J at the counter the fantastic plastic (yeah I know, should have paid cash, but was not sure how many ppl were going to show up and bowl). He ran the card, my cell phone rang......I didn't pay attention.

I check the credit card bill and the bowling alley charged me 1.03 Yeup, one dollar and 3 cents.
There is the ethical dilemia I mentioned. We are not a rich family by any means....humble and broke is usually the situation. So what would you do?..........





if you really KNOW me you already know what I did, and I did it without hesitation or remorse (though the totally selfish, cheap side of me cringed a bit) I drove back to the bowlig alley over my lunch yesterday to try to pay the man. They were not open. So I drove back again AFTER work and walked to the counter. J was not in sight, so I told somebody "I had a party here last weekend and was micharged". She got the manager who came out of the office ready for a fight.
I had to explain what happened twice. I was not sure if the look on his face was "how stupid are you lady" or "Wow, an honest person", but I told him he only charged me $1.03 and I needed to pay the difference. I just hope his ethical side comes forward and he does not fire the poor girl who didn't realize that HE charged me to little.

So, what would you have done?

5 years ago.....

Five years ago my universe changed.
I thought I understood God.
I thought I understood love.
I thought I loved with all my heart.

I was wrong.

I found that out 5 years ago today.

Five years ago I thought I was happy.
I thought I was complete.
I thought I had everything.
I thought life was perfect.

I was wrong.

I realized that 5 years ago.

Five years ago today
I discovered what it is to be loved.
I discovered what it is to love completely.
I discovered how much God loves me, like a parent loves a child.

Five years ago today my greatest blessing was born.
Not perfect in the world's eyes, but definately perfect in my eyes.

Five years ago Dr. H popped a little blueberry baby over that curtain that separated my head from the amazing thing happening in my uterus as I had an emergency C-section.

I knew you'd be fine.
I knew you'd be perfect.
I knew you'd fight.

MB.....you have taught me what it means to love and really be loved.
You showed me God in a way I could NEVER have understood till there was you.
You showed me I can be stronger than I ever imagined possible and can be reduced to tears in a single hug, handprint and unsolicitated smootch.

You taught me I could tolerate a dog and sneak the cats food just to watch your wonderment of it all.

I know you have taught me a lot and I am sure there is more to learn.

You are my son,
my friend,
my smiles
and one day my brother in Christ.

May you walk strong and serve Him who has protected you for these 5 years.

Happy Birthday little man. You are the greatest gift a mom could ever ask for.

Heard today in the "ninnyvan"

sxf (Sound effects for those who know know the abbreviation): Assorted car noises that sound like my poor old beat up van.

Mommy: What are you doing son?

MB: Guess what I am mommy..!!!

Mommy: I don't know. A car?

MB: Nope. I'm talking like your van... in SPANISH!

I swear...you can't make this stuff up!!!

I never thought it would happen...could ever happen.

I became a mother almost 5 years ago. In 10 short days MB will be 5 years old. I would not trade the mothering experience for anything in the world. I actually became a mom almost 7 years ago when I married my husband. He has 2 boys from his previous marriage and they are my stepsons, and though I love them dearly, they are not mine. I don't see them on Mother's day because they belong with their mother on Mother's day and I will not ever steal that from her.

Anyway, as we were in church this morning I thought about all of the women who desperately want to be mother's but can not for physical reasons. To you today, I want to wish you the love and joy friend's children and family's children can bring to you. To somebody, you are full of the love of a mother. They know it. How do I know and say this? Before I got married, my best friend's children were like my own. They knew I loved them as a mother loves her children and would do anyting... ANYTHING for them. Though they are not my children I would throw myself in front of a train and die for them if necessary. Stand in front of a loaded gun so they would be safe. The same things I would do for my son.

My heart does ache for the women who can not have children of her own. It was supposed to be my story. That is why MB name is Samuel. Samuel's mother, in the Bible of course, prayed that God would give her a son. That she would be worthy of the name mother. Her husband's other wife had children and she lorded it over her and made her feel horrible about not having children. In that day it was a shameful thing for a woman not to have a child. She prayed and prayed so hard that the priest though she was drunk and tried to make her leave the temple. She told him what she had prayed for. God gave her a son and she named him Samuel because he was "asked of God". That is why my son is Samuel. I asked God for him. Begged. Pled. Cried for a child of my own knowing I was told my body was broken and would not accept a child.

The day I discovered I was pregnant was the most exciting and frightening day of my life. I remember looking at the pregnancy test and having a friend check it just to be sure I saw what I saw (the 2nd blue line). I rember sitting in the bathroom saying to my unborn child...."Fight, you are the most wanted baby in the world!". He still fights. His life has been a hard road so far. He was born 2 months early in renal failure but too small and weak to start on dialysis, spent 6 weeks in the NICU before coming home for the first time, went back in the hospital for another 6 weeks and was started on dialysis which we did at home every night for a year, got a kidney from daddy, had several surgeries in between for hernias and recathetrizations. This boy tried to die too many times for me to count. So many opportunities for the gift to be stripped from me. I am thankful he continues to fight and do so well. My pregnancy was frought with problems as well. I had to shoot insulin from the 3rd month on. I had to take shots of Heparin every day (a blood thinner) because of a history of blood clots. I ended up in the hospital on strict bedrest (only allowed to sit up to eat and stand up to go to the bathroom) for 6 weeks (could you imagine how insane I would be if he held out all 8 weeks he was early!). I was on a high dose of blood thinners when I had an emergency c-section to deliver Sam. It was a hard road....and one I would love to take again. But it will not happen. This is a fact that it can not and really should not.

God has blessed me. The best thing that has ever happened to me is to be a mom. I have learned more about God and grace and forgiveness and discipline from being a mom than I ever would have understood if I were not a mother. God, thank you for the lessons. I know and pray that I have many many many more years of these valuable lessons as I watch my son become a man of God.

On Mother's day I have to tell you that being a mom also makes me appreciate all my mom did for us. The sacrifices she made and the hardships she withstood for us. I now understand how much it hurt her when we said we hated her ask kids. How much she apprecaited a hug for no reason at all.

Mom...I wish you were closer so I could hug you today and let you know I'm glad you are my mom. I love you.

To all the mom's out there. Hug your babies today. Put aside your anger and frustrations and make ammends. Let yourself FEEL really FEEL the love that is inside you for your child. Children are a gift from God and we moms are honestly the lucky ones.

MB, thanks for making me a mom. ... you deserve the gifts and love today. (I have to brag on a baby's love here. At his baby sitter's house he and the sitter's husband made a card for me and picked a rose from her garden. When he presented me with this rose, it was wilting and dying, but it smelled wonderful and MB and I played with it...hard. Sniffing it, kissing it, brushing it on our faces. I put it in a bottle of water I happened to have in the van but did not expect it to survive the night. The next morning when I got up that rose is alive, strong and well......it's baby's love that brought that thing back. Magic I tell you, love is Magic!).

Nothing quite like cleaning your kids room to make you realize

Makes you realize just how much JUNK you have in your house and when you house is only 1200 sq feet, there is not much room to begin with. I have spent 5 hours..yes, I did say 5 hours, now cleaining the boys room. MB shares a room with his bigger brother (1/2 brother) and they have WAY too much stuff in that tiny room. Actually, they have the big bedroom since they have to share it, but there is sooooo little storage room and Sooooo many toys it's disgusting.

I have had to lay down the law since I go through this every couple of months...the new rule...if you dump it you clean it. If you don't clean it and I have to do it again, I'm giving it away.
In fact, I'm trying to give some of it away today. I have a Big Big loader up for grabs as well as a couple of puzzles and an alphabet apple (cute game really, if you don't know your letters, which MB does).

So I'm cleaning and organizing again thinking...nay, knowing full well that I will have to do this again in a few months. Am I strong enough to get rid of toys.

I think I need the Supernanny to come kick my butt on this. He really does not have that many toys, the toys he does have have a lot of little parts. The scary thing, the parts only get smaller as they get older as evidenced by the bigger brothers' toys in the room.

did I mention how much I HATE leggos?

I guess I tackle my room and my Discovery Toys next. May have a sale on those soon to get them out of here. I think I may stop selling them....but I'm not sure yet.

Recent discussion at our house

Me: Hey baby, you gotta get dressed or we are going to be late for work.
MB: Moooooommmmmmmmeeeeeeeee.....you gotta stop calling me baby. I'm almost 5!
Me: Well, what do you want me to call you then?
MB: You can call me Sam or you can call me boy, but you can not call me baby anymore. I am not a baby...I'm a big boy...so you call me by my name or you call me boy. Okay?
Me: Well, give momma some time to adjust and correct me if I call you baby, but okay. I will call you Sam or I will call you boy. How about little man?
MB: Mmmmm. I'm not sure yet. I will tell you later (with a click click of the toungue and a wink and thumbs up thrown in here...I swear he does that all the time).
Me: Okay boy. I love you.
MB: I love you too mommy.

**Sigh**. Growing up too fast.

He talks about playing games with N, N's mom babysits MB....he told me the other day he and N were playing house....yeah house...."and our 'girls' are out shopping and we are cooking dinner so when they and the babies come back they can eat".

Still taking applications for his future wife. I need references including a pastor. *wink*

There are storms and then there are STORMS in life...

Yesterday was a scary day to live and work near/in Nashville, Tennessee. Morning started out with a warning from our friendly local weather man saying there was a possibility of some strong storms as a cold front and warm front were expected to meet around mid-day here in Middle Tennessee. They met, with catastrophic results. 11 people lost their lives and many many more lost their homes and businesses as a series of tornados ripped through an area well known to your gentle blogger friend. My step-sons old church was destroyed. Thank goodness nobody there was hurt. My step-sons were at school when the tornado hit Hendersonville. They were out in the hall at school in duck and cover mode. My husband's work had them huddled in the halls...my job had us answering calls as hail pounded the roof and windows. Nice huh. My sister who recently moved here decided it would be "fun" to chase this tornado. She's fine and she didn't even get to see it. The ex-wife saw the funnel across the lake from her house. Thankfully it was headed in the opposite direction. The sad thing about storms like this is that though we KNEW it was coming, there was little we could do to prevent the damage or loss of life because a tornado hits hard and fast and is non-discerning who it hurts. My prayers go out to the familes of the lost loved-ones and the newly homeless. The gas station where we usually exchange the kids is wiped clean off the map....gone...nuttin' but rubble left.

Then there are storms in life that you can see the signs of but again your attempts to thwart them are fruitless.

My mom was admitted to the hospital recently because her lung collapsed. This is a problem that has been going on since December (aided and abetted by an idiot doctor who told her she only had a bad cold). She has had to have her lung tapped ( they got 2 liters of fluid from it) and then had to have a drain tube put in because it would not stop developing fluid. So she is in the hospital and they test the fluid. My mom is an amazing fighter and has been free of breast cancer for almost 10 years....it would have been 10 years in September... and they say if you go 10 years w/o recurrance you are considered cancer free. You can read the signs now too can't you. The cytogenetics came back and they are positive for recurrent breast cancer, but this time in her bones and lungs. Since I don't think my mom has access to this blog (to my knowledge that is) I will tell you, gentle reader, that this is a POOR prognosis. Recurrent breast cancer is rarely if ever curable and if it's in the lungs and bones (metastisized) it's incurable and it is just a matter of time. I will NEVER tell this to my mother, but I live in a storm of reality that my mom is dying. I don't know when, but I do know how. It's a bitter pill. She will tell you that everybody has to die. She is right. We start dying the moment we are born. I wanted longer. I wanted my mom to see my son graduate high school and get married and start a family for himself. This is something we pray for MB every day. We know his days are numbered too. We don't know the number. You don't know the number. Only our Creator, as gracious and wonderful as He is knows our numbers...and when they are up, they are up. Nothing we can do will lengthen them. Bibically there was only 1 who had is number of days extended and they were not lived happily ever after.

The winds are blowing, the signs are there, the storm is coming. There is no amount of preparation a woman can do to prepare for the loss of her mother. I love my mom and believe I will see her again once she goes to heaven and my Heavenly Father takes me home too when my number is up, but really....I want my mom here. I can sit in the hall and duck and cover or I can continue to take calls. Either way the storm comes. I hope after the inevitable touch down that I can pick up my pieces and continue on though there will be a huge void in my small universe, while the rest of the world barely notices it lost a good woman.

No Smoking.....PLEASE.

If you think this is a blog about some thoughtless person smoking in public and blowing smoke at a non-smoker you are not correct. . .

This is about a van that, after $200 in repairs on the brake system, started smoking, stuttering and got nasty fast....on a major road in a town where EVERYBODY is in a hurry and thinks they are more imporant than anybody else.

The van, mine. The smoke...real and acrid and filling the van. I pulled into the turning lane that goes nowhere and stopped the van I thought was on fire and hopped out. Thankfully, I was coming HOME from work and MB was not with me (I drop him off, daddy picks him up) so I did not have to worry about him. So here I am, in the middle of the street, hood up, me wearing a skirt (gasp for those of you who really know me) and I am trying to figure out where the problem is. I pretty much know, because I added transmission fluid the other day when I checked the transmission fluid and it was bone dry....BONE DRY...but apparently I added it to the brake fluid because, though I would like to THINK I am car savvy, I am not. So the brakes were going out and I found out that I need another $800 to fix the damage I did (working on it), but this was not the brakes....nooooooooope. New pads and rotors after the shimmy stop I did on the way to work after dropping MB off that scared me half to death. No...This was transmission, which is REALLY bone dry now because though I though I fed it juice, I surely did not. I had 3/4 bottle of transmission fluid left so I put it in where the brake guy told me it should go (where was he when I needed him ??). Does anybody stop????
please....will somebody stop.....
please.
p l e a s e?????

Sure. A friend of mine from MOPs stops and offers to help, but she's about as mechanically inclinded as I am. She stops as I am trying to find a funnel small enough to put the transmission fluid into the CORRECT resevoir. She is a total blessing....she goes and gets her mechanically inclined husband to come help me.

While she pulls away, a police officer decides to stop (I think he thought we crashed) and asks if he can call me a tow truck or did I think I could get the van off the street...Um...thanks officer, wanna help push?

TOTALLY on the brink of tears, I tell him he needs to give me a quick second b/c I'm trying NOT to burst out crying at this point...wisely, he backed off, told me he would get behind the van and when I thought I could try to move it he would escort me into the parking lot beyond the light I'm broken down at. Gee...thanks.

So I look for a funnel, and necessity being the mother of invention, I improvise and use old Sunday School leader guide to fashion a small tipped funnel and pour in the transmission fluid and hobble my minivan into the parking lot.

Jr. comes and escorts me to the Dollar General across the street so I can get some more transmisison fluid and then recommends I take it to a mechanic in the morning. I get home....tired, stressed and weary in time to make dinner.

So I take the van to the mechanic today (2 days later...too much trauma, now I can talk about it) and he specializes in transmissions...and he tells me THERE IS NOTHING NOTHING wrong with my transmission. what what what??? So we take it out for a spin and all the odd stuff it was doing is gone. ZIP....nada...behaves almost like a van with only 100,000 miles on it, not it's 110,500 miles.

So, my theory, God fixed my van. Thanks! I needed the break. Thanks to Jr. and Tina and all who kept me cool...to officer not-so-helpful for not making me cry or pay for a tow truck...
and to my van, may you ever be a non-smoking vehicle!

MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY....MOOOOONAY!!

Sing it with me kids......

Ok, maybe you don't know the song.

I like money. Do you like money? I don't LOVE it, but it sure is nice to get some extra sometimes. I really like to spend money too...spoil people, celebrate, eat out, buy clothes for MB...give it away to organizations I believe in including our church. Like everybody else, I need more.

I recently got an "incentive" reward from work and I have to say, it felt goooooooooooddddddd. I really like being told "you are doing a good job" and I really really like it when they say that AND hand you money at the same time. Oh the sunshine that followed my day yesterday when I discovered in our monthly incentive meeting that I got some extra moola.

DH asked what were were going to do to celebrate.... I'm such a romantic, can you guess what I said....go ahead, guess.

If you really really know me you know I told him we were paying off a bill. That is just what I did too. LOL.... I really want to be out of debt so nobody has control over me...nobody.

so sing with me....Money , money, money, money......MOOHHHHHHNNNNAAAAYY.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to get this kind of incnetive every month and we should be out of debt in ....oh...4 years or so. LOL

SO thanks work, I am glad you are happy with me...I'm pretty happy with you too.

CRAZY dreams

Have you ever been so exhausted that you don't even remember falling asleep. You vaguely remember laying down, but not the moment you fell asleep. Maybe I am just weird, but I usually remember falling asleep. Lately, however, I think I am so drained from my daily grind that I just hit the bed and have no recollection of falling asleep. And then there are the dreams.

I have work dreams all the time that are fairly predictable and are obviously me trying to work out what I do at work in my sleep, especially if I was unable to figure something out at work. Ah the human mind. (I really need an off switch.) One reason I took this job was that I did not think I would be taking it home with me like I had other jobs in the past. Apparently I'm a work slave and carry any and all jobs home with me.

But I have some ODD dreams, lately more than usual. Extra tired I suppose. Take last night for example. MB is sick again (threw up till he had the dry heaves at 1:30 in the morning and then the diarrhea started....fun fun stuff). So my dream had my doctor in it. I know she was in it because we are trying to shuffle appointments next month, but her schedule is so tight that this may not be possible, but it needs to be done, so I dreamed about it. But....in the dream I was in the hospital (probably from little man being sick and when he gets dehydrated that is where we all end up...him inpatient and me or daddy with him). But in my dream it was me...and my doc took me to a MALL which was all outdoors with LOTS and LOTS of LADDERS to climb to get from one place to another, and we were looking for a dog.

Any dream weavers out there, feel free to explain this.

In the meantime, it's a new day, MB seems to be feeling better, we had to miss chuch again because we never share the "joy" if you know what I mean, and I desperately want sleep...DESPERATELY. For a kid that yacked until the wee hours of the morning, he still got up by 7:30.

Props to DH, by the way, who got up at 5:30 to give MB medicine that he missed because he threw it up after we gave it to him last night, and then still took the step-sons to church and is running the compters at the church right now while I stay home with MB...Thanks babe.

I'm such a nerd...

I have taken vacation in June to go to my best friend's daughter's high school graduation. That does not make me a nerd, that makes me a good friend (besides, I'm so proud of S....my best friend has home schooled her from day 1 and she is ONE SMART cookie!).

I am a nerd because we will be finishing off our vacation in downtown Chicago. AAAAAAHHHHH I miss Chi town so much. I can't wait to go take a train down there, go to the museums and spend the night in a hotel. My In-Laws are coming too, which will only make it more fun, and they will watch the kids so hubby bubby and I can go out on the BIG CITY I MISS SO much....

So, I'm pinching pennies and planning our museum rounds. Even the kids think this is going to be great! Whooo Hoooo....education and fun in one small trip north.

I can't wait!!!

The "Rents" are moving to Texas.

Yes, you heard me right, Texas. My parents, in their 60's (and late at that) decided it would be a good idea to sell their house and move to Middle-o-nowhere, Texas. In fact, so set are they in this goal that they are prepared to just LEAVE their current home in Indiana to just GO to Texas. When I first heard this I was kind of freaked out. We have tried to talk them into moving to Tennessee to be closer to us for a couple of years now and even had a trial of mom coming to live with us for a month or so to look for a job and find a place to live. The problem there lay in the fact that my father hates HATES hates rednecks, so Tennessee was out for him (little does he realize that MOST people in this part of Tennessee are imported from the west and east coast, but I digress).

Then I realize my parents have not told anybody but ME that they are moving. Their reasoning, nobody else has called them, so they were not going to tell them. Nice huh. (I think to date now my siblings all know...they all live a few miles from my parents in Indiana too, sad).

So they are sold on this and paying my oldest sister's boyfriend to help them get the house ready (whole other conversation) to sell, hopefully. They tell me they are moving next month. I'm still a bit shocked, but when I really sat down and think about it, the shock resolves.

When I was a wee child (probably 6 or 7, meaning siblings were between 9 and 4) we lived in a cute little house with 1-1/2 acres behind our house in a quite little suburb of Chicago called Miller Woods in Chicago Heights. LOVED IT!! It was not without its problems (my bike got stolen and thrown in the creek, I got picked on at the bus stop and the neighbor kids used to harass us regularly) but there were quiet streets, long bike rides, skateboard tag and friends. Our neighbor had a weeping willow that I loved to look at. We blew up snakes with M80s and my mom's buckets with the same. We started the neighbor's yard on fire one 4th of July with fireworks (who knew it was that dry that year) and had a tornado in our back yard that my mom let us kids sleep through but was silly enough to tell us about the next night. I remember the layout of the house and the smell of the barn and the eternal clawfoot bathtub, the only thing that lived in said barn other than a million stray cats. It was a great place to live. My father, one day, broke that serenity and announced that we were moving to Texas. He then sold our house and away we went. . . to Dalton, Illinois, to live in my grandparents basement for 2 years because we didn't move to Texas.

It's been my father's dream, as long as I can remember, to move to Texas, so in his golden years, he is picking up and moving to a town called Robert Lee, Texas. From the map I looked at, it looks like it is about 2 hours west of Dallas (and maybe a little south).

So, off they go, on a golden years adventure. I wish them the best and trust maybe after all this time my dad will FINALLY be happier. I would love to see my dad happy, it's been a long time.

I wish them the best and warned them we will not be visiting in the summer, that is just TOOOO hot, but maybe we could go to Texas for Christmas, after all, there is a much less likelyhood that we would be stuck on an interstate for 13 hours like the last time we went north for Christmas (brrrrr.).

Recently Overheard at our house....

Me: MB, go get your toothbrush and toothpaste so we can brush your teeth.
(MB runs and gets his toothbrush and toothpaste, brings them to me and then runs to turn off the bathroom light)
MB: (as he hands me the toothpaste)...Now mommy, don't start without me!

Ah kids.

Casting lots for chores

Yeah Yeah....i'm that odd.
I had the kids cast lots to do chores and earn x-box time today. I was trying to think of a creative way to get them to help with chores without the ususal problems of nobody wanting to do the "hard stuff". We do not do allowance, frankly, we can not afford to pay them for work, but believe that if they live here, have beds, clothes and food, that they should be productive members of the household. We also do not feel they should play x-box all day. So, here, you have to do chores to earn x-box time.

Now that I have explained that, let me tell you what I did today. I offered the children the chance to roll the dice and get a chore and then roll the dice again and see how much time they could earn. Just to make it fun, one of the things they could earn was -30 mintues of x-box time. ...in other words, do the chore and LOSE x-box time. But on the cool end of things, they could also roll and get UNLIMITED x-box time this visit to the house and the next (they are my step-sons, we get them every other weekend).

The chores, assorted stuff like take down the Christmas lights from outside, clean out the van, put away the clean dishes....nothing HORRIBLE, just stuff that needs to be done.

SO, next time you are trying to find a fun way to get the kids to do something around the house, grab the dice from your games and cast a lot or two.

Will my future daughter-in-law please stand up.

MB came into our room last night crying....nay, sobbing.....after being in bed about 10 minutes.

Me "honey what's wrong?"
MB "I....don't....know...who...I...am...going...to.....marry" (instert giant sob here).
Me (holding back laughter)....come here baby (insert climb onto our bed and sobbing as I hug him.

You see, I forgot to pray with him abut his wife last night because, as always, he interrupts when we pray and my back was killing be bending down between the 2 bunk beds. LOL. We pray everynight, mostly for the ususal...family, friends, ppl we know who are sick, his puppy, and lately I have been praying with him for his future wife. Yeah, I know it's a long way off. The kid is only 4-1/2 years old, but I want him to have God's best for him. He's a "needy" boy and I am working on that. I always pray that his wife will love God more than she loves MB because, honestly, she will need God more than my son, but prayerfully be committed to my son. Isn't that horrible to say. There has been enough "ugly" in our family histories and I don't want my boy or my future DIL to have to go through some of the crap DH and I or MIL and FIL have gone through...the chain breaks here as far as I am concerned. Back to our conversation.....

"MB, how old are you?"
"4"
"Okay. The youngest person I know who ever thought about getting married was 18. You have 14 years to pray for a wife still....hopefully longer. Can you not worry about that tonight?"
"but mommy, we forgot to pray for her."
"Okay, lets pray for her".
and we did.
Then we snuggled. (I LOVE that he still likes to snuggle).
"okay MB, time for bed. I love you."
"Love you too mommy"

once his bedroom door closed...I laughed my butt off! It was, after all, pretty darn funny. You without sin cast the first stone....you know you laugh at your kids too.

School daze, school daze, wonderful Golden Rule days....

If you haven't figured it out yet, in August of this year (gulp) MB will start kindergarten along with thousands of other kiddos across the country. Like most parents, we are in the struggle to figure out where in the world to send our child to school. Should it be this hard? Private school, public school, home school, magnet school, montisori school, Christian school.....really, the options are endless...and the nausea begins.

Plop plop, fizz fizz oh what a relief it is.......(gulp). Ahhhh. Shake it off now. There, the Alka Seltzer is down and the headache is subsiding along with the tummy ache. Lets continue.

Did our parents have such a hard time figuring out what to do with us when it was time to turn 5 and begin the "formal" educational process? I don't think so. I think I remember my mother and every other mother dancing in the streets as we little tykes in our dresses or blue jeans boarded the big yellow bus for the first time, off to experience milk in tiny cartons and hot lunches that were anything but hot, fresh or tasty. Off to experiment with the taste of paste and how LONG we could play with the kitchen set before the teacher made us move to a different station and fight our battles when a boy named John H. who kissed girls when we played near the ditch in the playground. No...my mom was HAPPY SLAPPY to send me to public school through all my education. I even chose (financially) a state (gasp!) school for my college education. Honestly, I think I turned out okay.

But I don't know if I am just super duper paranoid or if things really are scarier sooner now, but I'm all fits and fidgets about sending MB to a public school, but we really can not afford the cost of a private or Christian school and after-care since school gets out before work gets out. So we are left with the conundrum of public school or bankruptcy if I stay home and home school (which was the original plan foiled a few months ago when I lost my work-from-home job).

Now, before you get all hot and bothered and start flaming me about public school, I will confess the one we are zoned for is okay. The teachers are kind, the principal is guarded but nice. I hear it is one of the best elementary schools in the district. All very good things...but again, I'm paranoid and worry about MB and dehydration and medications....and exposure to 22 kids in a classroom every day. That is my biggest fear.

The whole "Christian education" sounds great, but I know that bad stuff goes on there too.

I have to believe that God will watch my son. I know that I am responsible for supplementing my son's public school education with the truths of the Bible and the love of God. I know that it is my job to bathe my son in prayer, to pray for his teachers, principal, board of education and even the janitor....and believe me, I do. Right now he goes to a Christian woman's home every day I work and I know she takes care of him, but you know what...every day I drop him off I lay my hands on him and pray that God will watch over him and protect him and that GOD will guard my heart and let me trust HIM with my very precious monkey boy.

They are going to be exposed to LOTS of stuff, but with God all things are possible and I know, after all, that HE has a plan for my monkey boy and it is perfect, and nothing I do can thwart Him from His will.

Behold, the comfort of God.

The ugliest word ever.

Cancer. That is it. You thought it was a cuss word. It may as well be. I am so SICK to death of hearing the word cancer because it is so vile to me.

My mom had breast cancer in 1996. She had a radical mastectomy and reconstruction and is doing well so far. (I watched the surgery on the Discovery Channel, it's amazing anybody survives that thing!!! Horrible. I learned 2 valuable lessons that day...1) don't ever watch a surgery you know somebody had on television and 2) you can use a crowbar for more than just pulling houses apart.) My mom's stock went up big time after I saw that on television (cable). Not only did she survive a hideous surgery, but she survived having her pain meds stolen by a random evening/overnight nurse at a Chicagoland hospital. How did she know what they gave her was a Tylenol with a 3 scratched into it.....the woman worked in a pharmacy for over 13 years. I think she knows the real thing. And yes, she did turn her in after she left the hospital. See, mom is smart!.

My dad is a cancer survivor. He had tongue cancer diagnosed in the 1990's (not sure exactly when). He had 1/3 of his tongue cut out and still has problems with swelling, but is cancer free.

I just found out my grandmother has breast cancer. She's over 80, so they are not doing anything for her, her health is too fragile already.

My great-aunt has advanced liver/kidney cancer.

I am part of a prayer group and everyday I get emails of people and tragic stories of kids and moms and young dads and grandmas and grandpas with cancer.

I have a sweet friend who is still struggling with skin cancer.

I found out yesterday that a very respected National MOPs leader has stage 4 ovarian cancer.

That word. I hate it. I am no longer standing still about it either. I am diligently praying against it in my own life. The chain stops here...it will not affect my family. I pray that your family is not affected by it or that it goes no further if you have already been beaten up by it.
I also have begun changing the way I eat and exercise to prevent that potential stronghold. I have never smoked, but was exposed to 2nd hand smoke all my childhood, but I refuse to let that win. I will ask my doctor for a mammogram next time I see her in April. I will schedule that darn Pap even though I don't want to do it. I will get rid of what I know will/can hurt me.
I declare war on cancer in my own life. I am not afraid of you, cancer, you have no place here!

Join me in the battle. Look at your life and see what you can change to prevent cancer and then pray with me that that word will fade from our vocabulary.

The newborn is gonna kill me

The puppy that is. I really need puppy training advice or something. This dog (and the boy who owns it). Why is it that having a puppy in the house is worse than having a newborn and why is my husband so aggressively angry at this dog all the time like she should KNOW not to whine at 1:30, 2, 3:30, and 5am when we are trying to sleep?

Yes, that is her schedule. We have to keep her in a kennel during the day so she is very ready to play at night. She's a puppy, so I get it. I don't like it, but I understand. Now that we have this dog this is a sample day at my house, starting at bedtime so you really understand....
10:30p I go into the bedroom to unwind watching the grown up cartoons on Adult Swim (my guilty pleasure)
11:15p nothing else good on, lights out and sleep (the dog kennel is in our room so she does not think we are not here)
12:35a dog starts whining....somebody has to run her outside. I try to wait until DH does this.
1:30...more dog whining....more freezziinng cold taking the dog out.
2:30....dog starts whining again....DH throws a pillow at the dogs kennel and yells "Zelda, shut up.
2:32....pillow not affective in exploding the dog kennel like the bomb it was thrown to be...dog starts whining again. DH storms out of bed, shaking house, death grips dog from the cage and throws her outside.
3:30....yup, more dog whining....we both ignore her.
5 am....dog is whining again. Now I have had enough and I know how to shut her up. I take her out of the cage and outside. Then when she comes in I sit in the recliner, reset the alarm clock for 7:15 a after I give MB medicine and Zelda and I snuggle down on the recliner for a nap before I go to work.
7 am....DH gets up and runs across the room late for work.
7:15....alarm goes off and I have to get up, get MB ready for his 'job' at daycare and get myself ready for work.
7:35 a MB is up and should be eating, but instead he is whining loudly because Zelda is trying to eat his pullup while it is still on him.
7:36. Feed and water dog.
8 am...jump in shower for very fast shower before work.....ahhh silence...nope, that is MB standing outside the bathroom screaming bloody murder b/c the dog is trying to eat him again (she is playing, he's convinced he's dying....bad combination for angry mommy)
8:30 I'm now yelling at MB to get ready that we leave in 15 mintues. He is insisting that he is getting dressed. Tyring to prep dinner or start dinner if it is a crockpot dish.
8:40. I'm still trying to get ready, hair dripping wet, putting medicine and toys for the day into the daycare bag, yelling at MB regarding eating his oatmeal and where did he put his socks.
8:47...ok, we are late...where is the dog.....gotta put her in the kennel so I can go to work and come home to SOME house left.....where is the dog....come back here......I said come here (me lunging for the dog again)......Zelda......(insert whining from Sam because he STILL Does not have his socks or shoes on...he claims he does not know how).
8:48: mommy has a total meltdown and starts yelling. Suddenly shoes are on and dog willingly goes into kennel.
8:50 we are in the car and heading to the babysitter...oh man, where is my cell phone....lunch and/or cup of coffee.....
9am...drop MB at the sitter and hop back in car.
9:45....arrive at work, log in, breath.....
10a till 7 p.......work.
7:20, get home (or stop for whatever we need).
7:20:30 Hug boy, smootch dad and take dog outside for a walk so she will 1)not pee in the house and 2) be outside with somebody for a change, she likes that.
7:40 feed and eat dinner (make sure dog has eaten) and try to watch a little tv.
8:30, get boy in bed, movie started, do dishes, clean up a little, start a load of laundry and plan for tomorrow (heck, pray tomorrow gets better!)
10pm try to head toward the bedroom....
10:30...we are back at the beginning of the loop.

SO.......can anybody assess why I am so tired lately?