Why do you suppose.....

Why do you suppose when one fills a dishwasher and then pushes the bottom drawer in that some random piece of silverware HAS to fall through the bottom of the silverware holder and get STUCK and cause one to not be able to close the dishwasher?

Why is it I put 2 socks in the washer and dryer ( I suppose) but only 1 comes out on the other end. ...and who keeps putting the darn red shirt I THREW AWAY because though it is 2 years old it STILL bleeds back in the clothes hamper?

Why, when I ask the 4-year-old to do something do I have a battle while the SAME 4 year old will JUMP and ask how friggin high when daddy says to do something?

and finally

Why, when you really really really need to get busy and work hard do you feel like all you can do is sleep? Did you ever see Joe v/s the Volcano...It's a baaaaad case of darkclouditis.

Rhetorical questions all I'm sure, but these things must be pondered by my addled brain today but all I want to do is lay down and wake up tomorrow around noon.

STOMP, Glasses and Gila Monster spit....

Lots to talk about, where to start....

DH recently had a birthday. I will not divulge his age as it will give mine away and I'm older. Because I dearly love this man I know what he likes. He likes NOISE...well, okay, not noise but rather percussion noise. I also happened to notice that the Broadway production of STOMP! was in town. Being the loving, ever overindulgent wife that I am I got tickets to the final performance at TPAC in Nashville. All I can say is WOW!!! and if you get a chance to go see STOMP! go see it. It was not only fascinating to watch them use paper bags, plastic water jugs and MATCHSTICK BOXES to make phenomenal music, but it was downright funny. I had such a good time. I actually got really sad when I knew the end was coming because I wanted to stay. If you get the chance I urge you to go and take the kids. Seriously good family fun and it really does not get "loud" like you think it would be until right at the end.

Now, how to get him to go see the Nutcracker Suite with me in December.......

Glasses update: I woke up with a migraine headache this morning at 5:30am and as the prayer of "Oh God, please let me puke and feel better or pass out" was uttered over and over the very thought of putting a contact lens in my eye (the headache was centered behind my right eye) was OUT of the question. I laid on the living room floor with an old pair of glasses from which I pilfered the missing pieces of my current glasses. Do you realize how tiny screws in glasses are? I thought this could certainly be used by some horrible country as a torture device, especially with a raging head throb and wave after wave of nausea. The headache is a 3 out of 10 right now on the pain scale of 10 being cut my head off now and 1 being is that a fly irritating me. It will take a few days to totally go away. Golly how I love a good headache......NOT.

And Gila Monster spit update: I am now officially into week 3 and disappointed to say I have only lost 5 pounds...but it sure beats gaining weight. Since after the first week when I could not eat at all I have managed to eat again. Therefore I must now add a decent amount of exercise and more careful eating to my regimen, which I will do. The doc upped the dose today (as was expected) so I'm back to being nauseated again, or is it the headache. I'm not sure, but I sure do know how much I want to go to bed right now and forget to wake up for work at 5:30 in the morning, but I will get up and work, I'm a good kid that way.

We went shopping today for Christmas. I need some input from anybody who has a Leapster "gaming" system from LeapPad. We want to get this for MB, but there is a NEW system and and old system. While the old system has more games, the new system has the capability to plug into your TV directly and show what is being done on the TV. This will be good IMHO for home school because the titles appear to go through 5th grade and MB is a VERY visual learner. They have math, phonics and even Spanish, reading etc. If you have any experience with this system, please please leave me your opinion.

On that note, I shall bid you farewell for the evening as my head is hurting and I need to put it on an ice cold pillow. One of these days I am going to put my pillow case in the freezer before I go to bed. I love a cold pillow.

I want my EYES back.....

I want my eyes back....my vision that would be. It all went down Thursday night. MB and I were wrestling on the bed when it happened....snap...it was quite, but it was also painful. My glasses broke. Well, not entirely...but a piece snapped off. I quietly and with the adeptness of a total geek taped my glasses together again...until Friday. Friday was the first day of MOPs and (as you may recall) I'm in charge of the kiddos. I think we had about 75 total....and it was CHAOS!!! good chaos, but chaos nonetheless. *sigh*. I don't know when it happened, but at some point I noticed my glasses were uncomfortably PINCHING me in the face. Yup, broken again and now the taped in piece is GONE.

So I am forced to wear my contacts.

I hear you... what is wrong with contacts? You paid a lot of money for those, you should wear them. Sure, both good points and there is NOTHING wrong with contacts, for most people that is. They, however, HURT my eyes. In fact, I generally get migraine headaches when I wear my contacts. Thank goodness this time it's just the "I feel like I have big crusty blocks of sand and salt in my eyes" sensation and my vision is fine with the contacts. I, however, want my glasses back.

I don't want to have to poke myself in the eye twice a day to take out and put in lenses.
I don't want to stumble around the house at night because I can't see the blocks on the floor in the dark without my glasses and I can't sleep with lenses in.
I don't want to hear MB tell me "mommy, where are your lenses. I can't SEE your glasses. I don't have to wear mine???"
I don't want to poke myself in the eye to prove to said MB that YES mommy does have her glasses on...but you can't see them because they are ON my eyes.

I want my glasses back. I think we will call the optho in the morning and see how soon we can get it.

Oh and hunny, I know you WANT your contacts again so I will call for an appointment for you too.

CELL PHONES, A CAUTIONARY TALE

I sure hope my sweet baby sitter does not mind my sharing this here...I will not use her name to keep her unidentified and will also add that I have 4 of the best babysitters a mom could ask for that run to the rescue for me all the time now (where were you 4 years ago???). I talked to one yesterday who is sitting for us tonight (got DH tickets to Stomp for his birthday last week). She sounded like she was crying, so I, who loves her babysitters to no end, asked what was wrong. She asked me if another sitter had called. Nope. So she told me.

She was on her way to babysit for another couple (this girl is NONSTOP I tell you) and got lost (my mind went a million miles as to what COULD have happened) and she called her parents on the cell phone (she has a hands free set, so this SHOULD be safe, right?) and while trying to figure out where she was, nosed into traffic and in a split second it happened. She hit a man on a motorcycle.

This, thank God, was not as horrible as it seems. The man was intelligent enough to be wearing jeans, leather jacket and a good helmet (as opposed to the guy I saw on the interstate wearing nothing but overalls, no shirt, no helmet and really not even shoes), she was going at the speed of a slug and God was her co-pilot. Yes, I know that sounds so darned cheesy, but it's true. In fact, her Jesus vanity license plate was the only thing that was "injured" in the crash. The bike was a bit scratched up and the driver scraped his knee, but all were OKAY! What a relief. My sitters mom and dad were there in minutes and the police officer was a Christian man too. He looked at our sitter holding her Jesus license plate and said "is that yours?" When she answered yes he said "you know that is what saved you both don't you?". She totally agreed. (see I told you I have a great babysitter).

SO my cautionary tale is this...even though cell phones are (gulp) necessary in today's world, please don't drive and talk. In a split second 2 lives could have been taken on a dark road in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee on Friday, but by the grace of God they are both okay. I warned my precious sitter that next time, please pull over and call her parents. She said her dad said the same thing. A person talking on a cell phone has a 4 times HIGHER chance of getting in an accident than a DRUNK DRIVER. So please, Hang up and Drive.

On Cabbages and Kings

Get used to the blog in big print, I think I need new glasses. Sad but true.

If you know Alice in Wonderland you get my title..if not, sorry, I'm totally random today.

What is it about kids and bathrooms? MB is very fond of playing in the bathroom (behold the power of water splashing all over the bathroom...dear boy, how on earth did you get the back of the door wet??) Well, today, while I was working I hear MB in the bathroom. He comes out asking to brush his teeth, so I give him the bubble gum toothpaste and his dolphin brush and send him off....

a short while later, while holding by bladder longer than any human should after drinking 3-1/2 cups of coffee and I run to the bathroom....but wait....the door is LOCKED and there is nobody in there. I hear you laughing and urging me to use the master bathroom right? Sure, if we HAD another bathroom. We are stuck w/only 1 bathroom and MB locked and then shut the door. I am happy to say I called daddy at work and asked him how to jimmy the lock and I am potty accident free! LOL...kids. I have now forbidden MB to lock the door which means he will lock it again later today. *sigh*

On a WILD (and just to prove how sick I really am) note, I found BACON bandages. LOL...it's a Band-Aid that looks like bacon. It cracks me up. I really want to get them for MB, but they are a bit pricy. This site http://www.mcphee.com/index.html has a lot of goofy, over the top stocking stuffers I can't wait to get for DH and the boys. LOL>...maybe my stocking will be filled with bacon bandages. It's sick but too funny. They also have a bacon air freshener, but it really smells like bacon and that is just TOO much temptation. At least the band-aids are not greasy or scented. Who thinks this stuff up? I want that job.

MOPs is on Friday and today MB tells me he has a headache. He's been telling me this all morning, so now I know it is real. I gave him some Tylenol about 30 minutes ago and he tells me it is gone now, but MOPs is Friday and I'm in charge of the kiddos. What, pray tell, am I going to do if he is sick? I'm IN CHARGE....
How did I know this would happen.

I know I wanted to tell you more, but worries for the folks in Texas has overshadowed my brain today (not that it was not a bit addled anyway), so I will let you go now.
Here's to hoping Rita mellows out a bit before she gets any closer....

Oh these kids...

1 laptop computer full of educational games ......$750.
1 room full of Little People and other imagination inspiring play toys... $500
1 Geo Trax train set w/about 12 expansion packs ....somwhere in the neighborhood of $300.

1 4-year-old kid who would rather play with Pringles cans at the kitchen table.....Priceless.

Bush and Louisiana and Sheer Stupidity

I read the news everyday and I am really beginning to wonder why. For those of you who are hoping this post is designed to blast President Bush, turn away now, it is not going to happen here. While I may not agree with all that the man does, I voted for him and I respect him and will honor his decisions (though I do not always agree with what or why he is doing them). That being said, I read today with great disdain that the Mayor of New Orleans is pushing to have 1/3 of Louisiana's people back at home by mid week...despite warnings of a new hurricane headed for the Keys of Florida that could dump heavy rains on the already strained levee system in La. My question, Mr. Mayor McCheese is why? Are you so desperate to look like some kind of hero in this whole Katrina debacle that you are again willing to risk the lives of your citizens?

You read me right... a GREAT portion of the debacle is YOUR fault. The buses you used to ship people to the dome...why were they not used to get them out of the city? The dozens upon dozens of school and MT buses that were found floating....floating in the mire were not utilized to MOVE people out of harms way. Why? Simple things that could have gotten a lot of people out faster than stranding them in your own Thunderdome. Yes, I understand that people are silly and think they can ride anything out in simple structures of nails and wood and the occasional brick but you are just as responsible for not utilizing your own resources to get people out of there. Hindsight is 20/20 isn't it.

But wait, there is more. This Mayor McCheese is now COMPLAINING that Bush's FEMA director has set himself up as "the federal mayor of New Orleans". What are you complaining about. They are telling you not to bring people back too quickly because the INFRASTRUCTURE can NOT handle the PRESSURE too quickly. The power grid is not totally back up, the HOSPITALS are not open or are destroyed or are not federally regulated because they can not be ready yet, but they will open where they can because they MUST if you are letting people back in. You are risking lives of the medical workers as well as potential patients by opening too soon. The stores are not open or cleaned. The water...is NOT ready for the demand it will face. AND THE LEVEES are NOT ready to handle a bunch of rain...which you may very well get if you don't get hurricane force winds. FEMA does not want to be mayor, the PRESIDENT has warned you that you do what you are doing at your own judgment and peril.

I really do understand people want and need to get back and assess what it will take to return to "normal" though I am not sure their normal will ever be the same again (it never is after a tragedy) but bringing them back too soon to boost your own ego and chances of "re-election" is stupid and down right dangerous. And I hope, for the sake of those who believe you and return, that they are not the ones to bear the brunt of your ignorance and short sightedness.

Oh, and ex-president Clinton, GIVE IT A REST. Blaming President Bush for the poverty and lack of a disaster plan in Louisiana is like blaming Chelsea that you are her father. She can't help what she had nothing to do with. President Bush is not responsible for every state to have a workable disaster plan. There are guidelines in place and if a state chooses to not drill or make sure their plan works, it is NOT the president's fault. Would it have been your fault if it happened on your watch? You would have been blubbering with the people in the dome but it still would have happened and you still would have had to wake the National Guard and that still would have taken days and days.

I am so sorry for the people of Louisiana who are struggling through this, but please don't rush back into danger. Please listen to the president and FEMA and wait just a bit longer to be sure you will be as safe as possible when you do return. Your meager items left behind, though important and sentimental are NOT worth your life. Your life is your life. Live it responsibly.

A little pepper in there for ya......

I was going to say potpourri, but I know guys read this too. Hehehe.. This one is all over the place updates:

Andrew and Amy: They got to go home from the hospital this morning. Andrew definitely has severe obstructive sleep apnea and has to be on oxygen at night. The good news is that all he needs is his tonsils and adnoids taken out at this point. He will probably also have a G-tube placed so that he can get rid of his NG tube (and we all know how much I hate, detest, despise, and abhor the NG tube in any face for more than 3 months. MB had his for over 2 years and Andrew has had his since he was 2 months old (he's over 2 years w/it now too). So the G-tube will help him eat, talk, etc. and it will be a good thing. I will let you know when they are ready to do that so those who pray can pray for one of my favorite little men.

MB thought of the day: Not really a though for today, but he sure did crack me up with it. In my attempt to raise a logical, linear thinking, self sufficient male, I told MB to turn the light on in his room using the kitchen broom (actually, his toy broom, he loves to sweep what can I say) but he uses my kitchen broom (sadly, probably more than I) and now has dubbed it the "turn on the light 6000" and every time he uses it to turn on the light he THANKS ME for inventing my "turn on the light 6000". This kid is going to make me wet my pants laughing one of these days.

Gila Monster Spit (aka Byetta): Well, finally, I don't get totally sick when I use it. It took a week. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, I'm not sure yet) I can now eat more than when I first started taking it. See, even the magic bullet requires discipline on my part. Nothing is ever easy is it. LOL.

My Scale: My bathroom scale is now officially smoking dope. It says that MB weights 51 pounds. Yeah, with a brick hanging down his back. MB weighed 35 pounds (almost 36) at his doc visit last Thursday....so if he suddenly gained that much weight I'd wonder where he is stashing the brownies and why his pants still fall off. That being said, my weight, according to the drugged out scale, is down 52 pounds. LOL. I guess I will just stay off of it and wait till I get to the doc at the end of the month.

TOYS: Hey, I guess I shouldn't just put it out there, but I'm gonna. Discovery Toys is collecting for hurricane relief. For every dollar donated to the Red Cross through Discovery Toys, we will donate $5 in toys to schools (preschools and public and private schools) in the affected areas. If you want to donate and you know my email, email me and we will work it out. And of course, if you want to do a catalog party for Christmas, we can work that out too.

I'm sure there is more I meant to update you on, but I'm tired, just cleaned out the fridge and need to do dishes and because my chicken is not thawed in time...Chinese is on the way (I did veggie lo mien, thanks for asking!)

Things I never knew about butterflies

We had some overdue books and videos (only 1 day, no fee baby!!!) so though we need gas and are budgeting it carefully, I had to venture to the library today. It's a nice day in Tennessee, sunny and only hovering around 90, not horribly humid but not great window weather. All in all a pretty day.

We get to the library and since MB is suffering from run-across-a-parking-lotitis and I really don't want to spank him (that is a spanking offense in our house) we park next to the building thus no lot to cross to get to the library.

The Horticulture Club of our town does a FANTASTIC job of keeping the library beautiful (maybe I should join so I could learn how to plant a garden, flower or otherwise). The Marigolds are out in full bloom right now at the library and MB LOVES flowers (mostly to pick them, but generally to sniff them). We see a bunch of butterflies on the marigolds. MB asks to pick one. "no honey, those are for all of us to enjoy. Aren't they pretty". "Yes momma" is the awed reply I get. "Will the butterflies be here when we leave?" "I don't know baby, we'll see".

We go pick out new videos and books and head out about 30 minutes later.

The butterflies, alas, have gone. The funny conversation goes like this:
"Mommy, where did the butterflies all go?".
"I don't know sweetie, but if you want to smell the flowers go ahead.".
"Mommy, I can't sniff the flowers!" (insert stop of foot here).
"Why not hunny?"
"The butterflies POOPIED on them!" (turns in disgust and walks away)

I swear, where does this kid come up with this stuff?????

GILA moster spit update

I'm down 100 pounds already! LOL..not really, but I bet it's about 10 pounds. Here are a few answers to crazy things...
1. No, it does not glow green. Though I'd probably like that better, at least it would be my favorite color!
2. It is a shot, I have no idea what it tastes like (unless you count the reflux it causes...it tastes like acid then. ROFLOL and munching Tums).
3. I am gonna guess I have lost about 10 pounds total now because my clothes fit better already and 1 of my 3 chins is gone.
4. I eat about as much as my 4 year old. Any more and I either get wicked diarrhea or a stomach ache that would down a horse. MB actually ate more than me yesterday.
5. I really have NO desire to eat and wish the nausea would let up a bit already (it is supposed to let up soon).
6. No, I'm not anorexic, I'm learing to be careful about what and how much I eat.

I go back to my doc at the end of the month for an update. I feel tired when I feel sick, but other than that, this really has been great. I got a few bruises from the injection, but now I'm shotting in my arm and the needle is so small I don't even feel it...but I know it works because I feel queezy like I ate too much all the time. This is supposed to fade...right.....

any other Gila Moster Spit questions out there....

Oh, I found out that it is a Type 2 diabetes medication so I got to get rid of 1 of those for this. The drug's name, for those who care, is Byetta.
This, along with sensible eating and exercising as tolerated, seems like a good deal for me.
I will updae you when I see my doc again.

Prayers for a special boy

I covet your prayers for a dear little friend of ours. His name is Andrew and he is one amazing kid. His mom, Amy, is amazing as well. MB and I met Andrew in nephrology clinic a few years ago. Andrew, like MB, was born in renal failure and was on dialysis and had an NG tube. Unlike MB, Andrew has some other complications, one in particular called Prune Belly Syndrome. Basically he has no stomach muscles. (He's the cutest little Buddha belly you ever did see!). Kids with PBS don't usually live to see 2, but Andrew has. This kid, as I said, is remarkable. He has been, however, scaring the begeebies out of us for some time now.

I was blessed to be able to help Amy through the dialysis at home, giving her hints about the NG tube and trying to get the kiddos to eat and prayed with her through the transplant (she gave Andrew a kidney last August). We have laughed, cried and complained to one another from the first time I called her to just check in till today.

MB has doctor visits once per month to make sure his kidney (Given by his daddy 3 years ago in August and doing great) is working well, and it is. But because I know Amy and Andrew so well, I can always ask about them and I have permission to get information (thanks Amy). So when we went to the doc on Thursday we found out Andrew was in. In the last 3 months I think Andrew has been out of the hospital maybe 3 weeks total. It is NOT easy to be a hospital mom with a kid that is regularly inpatient (thankfully, and by the grace of God, MB has not been in for about 2 years now I think, maybe one short dehydration visit last winter, but I really can't remember, but before that, we LIVED at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital). SO we went to visit Amy and Andrew after MB's visit.

Andrew LIT UP when MB walked in the room. He can not talk, but he about jumped out of crib when he saw MB. He LOOOOOVVES MB. We bring treats. LOL. He blows kisses to MB and holds hands and hugs him. Awesome stuff.

The prayers for Andrew come in because the last 3 visits to VCH have been because of severe breathing (and one blue baby) incidents. Poor Amy is about at her end of herself (focus on the good stuff girl...the good stuff). They told her yesterday that 2 docs have now walked in on Andrew during sleep apnea events...of the severe nature. They are doing some tests on him and will probably have to do surgery. He also has some reflux issues causing, they believe, fluid aspiration in his lungs (when he has reflux, instead of going back down, it's going in his lungs, not good..causes pneumonia). So he's a sick little boy right now. They are talking about doing 3 potential surgeries on this little guy. Amy is sick, as any mom would be.

SO I ask for prayers for this very precious little guy who has an AMAZING will to live. The surgeries are dangerous because he is immunosuppressed to keep the kidney functioning. These kiddos (mine included) are a heck of a lot more fragile than they appear.

Pray the docs will lead Amy in the right direction.
Pray Amy will KNOW what is right for her son.
Pray Andrew will continue to fight.

Amy was supposed to meet another mom with Prune Belly Syndrome that is 12 years old, but she left before Amy got there. If you know of anybody else who's child has this, please message me if they are willing to talk to Amy. It is through comfort of others in the same situation we find our strength. I sure do appreciate it. And thanks for the prayers.

Gila monster spit.

I have decided to take a detour in my quest to get rid, literally, of half of me. As I posted earlier in my blog, I have been considering gastric bypass as a way to lose weight. Do I think this would be easy...nope. I'm not that naive. But I'm also, it seems, a giant chicken. I have a bad feeling about me and GB and have since I started considering it 5 years ago. I know to lose weight takes discipline and desire 90% the former and 10% the latter. If it were all desire I'd weigh 120 to 150 by now. But I don't. And I am not a happy camper where I am. I can't do simple stuff anymore, but I digress.

Today I started on a new medication. . . Basically it is a chemical in the spit of a Gila monster. Yes, the lizard. It is an injection (just like an insulin injection from the pen for those who have done that) that you take 15 min. before breakfast (or first meal of the day) and 15 min. before dinner. I started it with dinner. I was told the only side effect is nausea. I am thankful that is not what I have experienced. BUT, it does make you feel, rather uncomfortably, full. Like you already ate too much. It is a hormone that re-stimulates the hormone my compulsive over eating has destroyed. The key is to eat till you are full...which did not take long.

We had spaghetti for dinner tonight. I ate less than the 4 year old, which oddly has been my theory all along. If I could eat as much as my 4 year old eats, I would be thinner.

I am VERY Careful when it comes to this kind of stuff. I tried Meridia before, and though it worked, I had some pretty uncomfortable side effects and stopped it immediately. I will do the same again, believe me.

Tonight, I have some hope. I did find out at the docs office that I am 6 pounds lighter than I was 2 weeks ago, so that's a good thing. I have also begun exercises as much as my body will allow first thing in the morning. I know it is going to take time. I have to do this. Thank you for participating in my adventures in weight loss. I would post current weight here, but shame prohibits me from doing that right now. Just know, it's gonna get lower.

What is in a kiss?

I have to tell you, one of the things that I totally LOVE about being a mommy is the accidents. Not the "I didn't make it to the potty on time" accidents, but the "I was running without my glasses on even though you must tell me 12 times a day not to run in the house and because I have no dept perception I rammed into the wall and hit the vacuum cleaner and pinched my finger so now I'm squealing like a piglet being chased by a rabid goose...kiss my finger and make it better" accidents.

Yes, that is the kind of kiss I am talking about. I think I am going to go through some kind of mommy depression when MB gets too old for me to just tickle-kiss wrestle with or when my smootch can make that same smashed finger FINE again. I have administered kisses over Bugs Bunny Band-Aids that magically heal cuts. I have given kisses to a walloped head and made bumps the size of Everest disappear. I have dotted kisses around the nape of a neck and had somebody, mid-hissy-fit break out in laughter and our little line of "mommy can you stop kissing me now?" to which I am obliged to reply NEVAAAAA and dot more smootches around said nape stop the fit cold...well, squiggly and wiggly cold.

What is it exactly that is in that kiss?

In a word. (okay, 2) Unconditional LOVE.

MB knows (I hope) and I am definitely sure there is nothing in a kiss but LOVE and love heals all wounds (well, love, time and sometimes antibiotic ointment). But LOVE tells you that though you didn't listen and ran in the house and whacked the crap out of your hand, you are still loved.

If you did not know that love as a child, I hope you find it in life. If you administer magic smootches, LOVE IT NOW...as the step mom of a 12 and 10 year old, unfortunately the magic does not last, they don't want a smootch.....*sigh*......they want a big ole BEAR HUG.

And as an adult, I LONG to hear a random I love you from my parents still. And sometimes I get one and I didn't even have to whack my hand to get it.

What in the blazes is wrong witth these people

I can not believe what I am reading today now that the NG is getting into the currently "empty" dome. Look, I know it was rough, but WHY IN THE HELL is there a 7 year old girl dead in a refrigerator with her throat slashed. NO hurricane did that, some piece of work who thought somebody owed him/her something did that. OMG...I can not even begin to imagine how the parents would feel. I would die if that happened to my child. What kind of monsters were in the dome? There is NO WAY anybody can blame THAT on President Bush. That is a crime of ignorance and self absorbed animalism that came on somebody LONG before the hurricane.

I am sick to my stomach as I type this and in tears. If this is the future of our society that seems hellbent on teaching situational ethics and well as narsicicism I really fear for the future of my MB and all the other kiddos coming up behind him.

As if the tragedy of the hurricane were not enough in and of itself, why must men (the universal mankind, but I see no KIND in this situation) insist on making it worse.

I think I need to focus on Mississippi where the whole city was destroyed but no 7 year old girls were found murdered in a fridge, where people are going out of their way to HELP one another not hurt, riot and loot.

Mississippi, my heart goes out to you. To most of Louisiana, what the heck were you thinking. (please note I said MOST).

The innocence of children

Every night at 9:30p I have to give MB medicine. He is usually asleep when I do this. A whisper of "it's mommy" and he opens his mouth and takes his meds without a fight. I don't know what it is about a sleeping child but I have to kiss that angelic face. All sweaty and shiny (the kid sleeps in a 'cave' of blankets, none of which cover him, but surround him on his lower bunk bed like a cocoon). He usually does not wake up when I kiss him. I can not resist the secret kiss between me and God and my precious boy. He does not remember them...I will never forget them. The innocence. The trust. The sheer love.

I am amazed and awed when I think that GOD himself loves to look upon me while I sleep and is filled with such joy for me as well.

God looks down on all of us with the wonder, joy and concern we look at our kids with, and we look at our world with. Even when we have had a bad day, God still loves us and rejoices that we are his creation, fashioned in his image, for HIS glory, to honor and love Him back.

Just like MB sleeping in his cave.

I wonder if God leans over and kisses us and we just don't remember in the morning.

Katrina and other musings..

I am trying to wrap my brain around what is going on costally in LA, MI and AL, but honestly, my brain is not big enough. I have engineering ideas I have no clue how to share to stop the water from flowing in, I am sickened by the animalistic nature that has shown in so many of my fellow human beings and praying there are even subtle acts of kindness and compassion happening that are just not "news worthy" (and shame on the news people for not showing that too). I ponder why water and food were not immediately flown to the stadium where people were trying to have some sort of life while waiting to see what to do next. I am perplexed that our country has forgotten to teach our young men that it IS appropriate that women and children go first and sad that women, in a desperate attempt to be considered "equal" to men, didn't remind men that women and children go first. (again, a blog for another time. Ladies, the world will never see us as equals. They may play like they do, but they will never pay like they do).

The other thing that had me freaked today is the fact that gas in Tennessee is $3 per gallon and guaranteed to go up. After going to 3 gas stations to FIND gas this morning My DH payed $25 for a little less than 1/2 tank of gas, a tank is about what he uses to go back and forth to work in a week, folx, thats $200 per month for gas for 1 vehicle. $200!!!! I don't know about you, but I surly can not afford that. MB does not go to day care because we can not afford the $120 per week for that. Thank goodness I telecommute to my job....but every now and then even I have to go to a doc appointment with MB or myself...and that is all we are going out for now.

BUT...I have a memory...I remember the 70's with Carter as president, an oil crisis, LOOOOONG lines for gas and then being told when we were 3rd in line the station was out of gas. Rising prices for everything and recession.

Is this the market correction we have been waiting for for several years now? I don't know, but we have made it through such crises before and we, the USA will make it through again.

I will do what I can for the gulf coast, including donating blood and whatever else I can spare.
And I will be home for a while because I just can not afford to go anywhere for now.

BUT MOST OF ALL, I will pray because I KNOW who holds the future, and it is worth the living just because He lives.